Trust was their most important equipment. More important than the boat, life jackets, or safety ropes. On the river, Cody was more than trustworthy. He not only made his passengers feel safe, he also made each and every one of them feel like the trip had been designed just for them.
If only Carson could trust his brother on dry land.
“Let’s get the boat inflated.” Cody parked at the put-in spot and jumped out of the truck. He started pulling the raft out of the back of the truck all by himself. Showing off, probably hoping Lily would notice his muscles flexing with the weight of the raft.
“Let me help you with that.” Carson was at his side in an instant. “You know better than to try to lift one of those things by yourself.”
“That’s right. You’re in charge here.” Cody nearly dropped the boat on his foot.
“No. You’re head guide for this trip.” Carson had decided to let Cody be the guide. If he was focused on the river, he’d have less time to make a move on Lily. “I’m just your grunt.”
He pulled the rest of the gear out of the truck while Cody inflated the boat with the electric pump plugged into the outlet provided for commercial and private rafters’ use. Carson double checked the first aid kit, and made sure there was plenty of water.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He hoped Lily hadn’t overheard the way they snipped at each other. Not a good way to instill confidence if she was worried about them taking a paddle to each other’s heads.
“No, you’re our guest.” Cody turned on the charm. It was as if he’d never even thought a harsh word in his life. “Just relax and get ready to enjoy the ride.”
“Should I put on my life jacket?” There was a hint of anxiety in her voice, but Lily was doing her best to control it.
“Sure, but you don’t need to buckle it until we get down to the water.” Carson wanted her to be comfortable. He needed to start by making amends with Cody. They were a team. It was time they started acting like one.
“If you want to put any personal belongings in this ammo can, it will keep everything dry.” Carson opened the metal box.
“Okay, sure.” She tossed her keys and her T-shirt into the can. “Is this an actual ammunition case?”
“We get them from the military supply store,” Carson told her. “They come in several sizes, for everything from first aid kits to groovers. And they’re completely watertight.”
“Groovers?” Lily looked skeptical.
“Porta-potties. For overnight trips.” Carson hadn’t been on many lately. Cody preferred to take the two-days. “They’re actually quite convenient. They take up a lot less space than commercial models. Watertight, odorless, and surprisingly comfortable.”
“Probably more than I needed to know,” Lily said.
Carson shrugged and threw his own wallet and cell phone into the can. “Cody, what do you want in the dry box?”
Cody drew his wallet out of his pocket. The unmistakable ring of a condom marked the well-worn leather.
“You know you really shouldn’t keep those in your wallet.” Carson whispered to his brother.
“Hey, I don’t carry a purse.” Cody kept his voice low so Lily wouldn’t overhear. “Besides, I use them up long before they have a chance to deteriorate.”
“Good to know you play it safe.” Carson dug his nails into his palms. Sometimes he marveled at the fact that he wasn’t an uncle.
* * * *
Lily didn’t want to be nervous. But the closer they got to actually getting on the river, the harder it was to remain calm. It didn’t help that there was unmistakable tension between the brothers that hadn’t been there the day before. She hoped it wasn’t her fault. Maybe they didn’t really want to take her down the river. Maybe they were just being nice. Or maybe they thought she was wasting their time.
Since they’d come this far, and they’d gone to this much trouble, she figured she’d have to go through with it. She just hoped she wasn’t getting in too far over her head. Even with the snug fitting life jacket, she worried about falling in.
She watched as they slipped the raft into the water. It was a calm spot, but she knew it wouldn’t be like that the whole way down.
“Now remember, if you fall in”—Carson’s voice was calm, assuring—“just lean back and put your feet downstream, like you’re relaxing in a lawn chair. We’ll come to you.”
“I’m sure you will.” Lily offered a quick smile.
Carson would keep her safe. She had to keep telling herself that. It was the only way she could put one foot in front of the other. It was the only way she could step into the boat.
“Ready?” Cody asked. “You hop in first. Take your paddle with you.”
“Oh, I thought you guys would do all the rowing.” Lily was now more than a little nervous. What if she couldn’t paddle hard enough? What if she dropped the paddle in the river? What if she fell in?
“I’m just your humble guide.” Cody smiled at her, flashing his dimples. She was sure if he wasn’t wearing sunglasses, he would have winked at her. “You and Carson take the front and follow my commands.”
“Oh, so we’re going with age before beauty?” Carson quipped. “He thinks he’s so cool because he’s older than me.”
“Just better looking.” Cody ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head like a model.
“Are you two going to bicker, or are you going to show me a good time?” Lily crossed her arms over her life jacket and stood there, daring them, hoping their banter was more friendly than serious rivalry. Anything to keep her mind off the thought of being tossed into the river, unable to get her feet under her. Unable to breathe.
“You’ll do just fine.” Carson leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Paddling will keep you engaged. You won’t have time for fear to creep in.”
Sure, except for the fact that the man seemed to read her mind.
Carson held her arm as she stepped into the boat. She tried to concentrate on keeping her balance, not on the feel of his hand on her skin. He let her take the right side and showed her how to keep her weight centered and use her paddle to keep herself balanced. After practicing paddling and a few simple commands, they were underway.
It didn’t take long for Lily to feel like she’d been doing this all her life. It didn’t hurt that the twins worked so well together. They were in such perfect sync that she couldn’t help but think they had some secret communication ability only identical twins had.
“Wow. This is great,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if I could actually do this, but it’s so relaxing. And exciting at the same time.”
“Yeah,” Cody added. “But we haven’t even gotten to the good parts yet.”
“It can’t possibly get better than this.” Lily lifted her face to the sun, soaking up its rays. Soaking in the experience. Here, on the river, the rest of the world drifted away. There was no such thing as stress or heartache. All the pain of the last year, all the disappointments from her marriage—from the obvious like the cheating and the inability to get pregnant, to the little things, the way Brian had always managed to make her feel inferior—were swept into the river, carried away like fallen leaves.
The river took her professional setback and put it into a new perspective. It wasn’t the end of the world, just a new course for her to take. And she was armed. She could paddle her way to the right future for herself.