“But she’s our daughter,” Catherine protested. “Why should she act like a stranger?”
Evan put his hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “Mother, other than that disastrous visit last fall, I haven’t seen Erin since she was eighteen. She is virtually a stranger. I’m not sure that we’re dealing as much with a substance abuse issue as we are that she’s running from something…or someone.”
“What makes you say that?” Stoner questioned.
“While she got her things out of Sam’s house this morning, he told me he dumped pot, ecstasy, and some Quaaludes out of her purse last night. She doesn’t appear to have any one drug of choice, which is more like an addict; she seems to do whatever will get her high. It’s an escape, not something she physically has to have.”
Stoner’s unease ramped up again. “Did Sam check her suitcase or just her purse?”
Evan grimaced. “He only mentioned her purse. You want me to call him to find out?”
Oh how Stoner wished he could say no, but it wasn’t possible. He nodded reluctantly. Evan stepped out of the room to use his cell phone. Stoner moved to the window and stared out over the winter-brown fields, grateful that Catherine knew him well enough to leave him to his thoughts, uneasy though they might be.
Evan returned in a few minutes. “Sam didn’t check her suitcase.”
The instant Stoner met Evan’s gaze, they hurried from the room toward the guesthouse. Stoner prayed this would not be a repeat of her teenage years.
Damn it,” Evan said. “She’s locked the door, Dad.”
Stoner dug into his pocket. “Hang on. I’ve got a spare key here. Jesus! She hasn’t even been here a day, and it’s already started.” He unlocked the door and opened it quietly. His eyes spotted the pills almost immediately. Evan examined them.
“Ecstasy.”
“What the hell is that?” Stoner demanded.
“It acts like both an amphetamine and a hallucinogen.”
“I don’t even want to know how you know these things,” Stoner grimaced.
Evan arched one thick brow, looking like a younger version of Stoner. “Prosecuting attorney, remember?”
Stoner raced up the stairs, heart pounding, opened first one bedroom door, then the second, smaller room. She was curled in one of the two twin beds in there, but when the hinge squeaked, she leaped from the bed and backed into the corner before her eyes cleared and she saw it was him.
“Daddy! What are you doing?” Her chest heaved, but a trace of panic lurked in her eyes.
Panic that she’d been caught? Stoner grabbed her and shook her. “What did you take, Erin? Damn it! How much?”
Her eyes were wide and shocked as she glanced from his face to Evan, who now stood behind Stoner.
“Nothing,” she whispered. “I didn’t take anything.”
“You’re lying,” Stoner snapped. Concern made him sound harsh and cold, but he couldn’t help it. She was scaring the shit out of him. “We saw the pills scattered on the table downstairs.”
“But… I didn’t take them,” she protested again. “Please. Daddy, you have to believe me.”
Stoner shut his eyes, feeling as though his heart was being ripped apart again as he admitted, “I can’t believe you. You’ve never given me any reason to believe you.” He turned to look at Evan. “I want Jenny to look at her.”
“Dad…” Evan began uncertainly, his gaze shifting to the hurt evident on Erin’s face.
“I want Jenny to look at her,” Stoner insisted. He remembered a night when she was in high school, when he had given her the benefit of the doubt, and she had nearly died from an overdose. “I’ll stay here. Get Jenny and flush that crap lying on the table.”
Erin stood like a statue in the corner of the room, her eyes huge in her pale face. Stoner’s heart ached. When he reached toward her again, she flinched, throwing her hands out to ward him off. “Don’t touch me.”
Her nostrils flared and her eyes glittered before she turned her face away from him, pressing her palms against the wall behind her. Stoner raked his trembling fingers through his hair. He had forgotten how many nights he had lain awake, worried sick about her. Now, she no sooner came back than it started all over again.
Jenny came into the room, took one look at Stoner and Erin’s stiff postures, and ordered him out of the room. When he started to protest, she glared at him. “I am doing this only because you’re her father, but she’s an adult, Stoner. You will not stay in here while I examine her, not even while I talk to her.”
* * * *
From the corner of her eye, Erin saw the door shut behind Stoner and Evan.
“Can I get you a glass of water?” Jenny asked.
Erin sucked a breath into a throat so tight it hurt. She shook her head and whispered, “I shouldn’t have come back. I keep saying that. Maybe I’ll eventually learn my lesson and leave once and for all.” She cast her hand around the room. “The guesthouse is where they’ve put me. Not their home. I’m a guest, not one of them.”
Erin blinked a couple of times as she absorbed the hurt and let it pass on through. All she had ever wanted from them was their love, their understanding, but how could they understand? Some of the fault lay squarely at her door. She could acknowledge that now, as an adult. She’d kept the real issues hidden, and done a damn fine job of it.
Jenny sighed, drawing her out of her introspection. Her sister-in-law sat on the edge of one of the twin beds. “It took me a long time to understand your father, Erin. A long time to forgive him. He is a man of very intense, deeply felt emotions.”
Erin laughed bitterly. “As deep as a chest freezer.”
Jenny shook her head. “I can’t help you two with those issues, but I can deal with some of yours. Did you take any of the MDMA?”
“No. I thought about it, pretty seriously.” Something about Jenny gave Erin complete confidence that Jenny would not doubt her. “My boss, Rick, never had a problem with us being a little loose, but I don’t want to keep doing that.”
“When’s the last time you used anything?”
“I smoked part of a joint last night right after I landed in Sam’s pasture with my rental car.”
“Nothing since then? No alcohol, cold medicine, anything?”
“Nothing.” Erin met her gaze without flinching. Jenny didn’t need to know the mental battle Erin had fought to leave the pills untouched.
“May I examine you?”
Erin nodded and submitted to having her pulse, respiration, pupil response, and reflexes tested. When Jenny asked to see the contents of her purse, Erin dumped them out along with her duffel bag. Jenny flicked open the birth control pills and looked at Erin.
“This is fine for pregnancy prevention, but you should use condoms to protect against disease.”
Erin snorted. “It’s not an issue. I take them for severe cramps.”
“But you make your partners use condoms?” Jenny’s concern was evident.
Erin raised her brows and said again, more slowly, “It’s not an issue. It’s never been an issue. You’re a doctor. Do I need to be clearer than that?”
“But…?” Jenny shook her head. “Are you telling me you’re a virgin?”
Erin laughed bitterly. “What? I’m sure