“Oh, Ian, that means I’ll see even less of you and I’ll be working more hours. Before you said we were like newlyweds. That was wrong, we’re like strangers. You didn’t even know where I worked.”
“I remembered Heckling Pete’s and that was a long time ago.”
“You really want to do this, don’t you?”
“More than anything. We’ll be on our own, making money, and we’ll be our own bosses. I can treat people at affordable prices. It’s a moneymaker, Emily. Two years. Can you see it in your heart to give me two more years? I know what I’m asking. It has to be your decision, though.” His eyes pleaded with her.
Emily nodded because she was too numb to do anything else. Ian smiled, raised his hand for the check. “I’m going to make this up to you, dear Emily. The day is going to come when I will give you anything your heart desires. Anything. I promise, Emily.”
She managed to say, “I’m going to hold you to it.” She even managed a sickly smile for her husband’s benefit.
They tottered home, holding on to one another, their futures settled for the next two years.
Chapter 2
Emily stared in awe at the Christmas tree she’d decorated to surprise Ian. The small apartment positively reeked of Christmas. She was going to bake the way her mother always baked for the holidays. She was going to wrap presents and maybe drink some wine while she was doing it. The day was hers to do with as she pleased. Heckling Pete’s was closed for serious plumbing repairs and she’d pretended she had a cold and told Ian she couldn’t work in the clinic. And here she was. Full of Christmas spirit.
She glanced at the pile of papers and ledgers on the kitchen table. She had to do the payroll, fill out insurance papers, make a bank deposit, pay the clinic bills as well as the household bills. She didn’t want to do them, wasn’t going to do them. She opened the cabinet under the sink, pushed aside her cleaning supplies. Then she swept the pile of papers into the far back corner.
This was supposed to be a real Christmas. Ian had promised. Last year the clinic had been opened and they had both worked and had a cup of eggnog in front of the plastic tree in the waiting room. They’d agreed not to exchange presents, but at the last minute she’d gone out and bought Ian a cashmere jacket she couldn’t afford. He’d stuck to their agreement. She’d cried in the bathroom afterward. She would have been satisfied with a gift-wrapped Bic pen.
Emily looked at the pile of presents she was going to wrap in silver paper. Big, red, velvet bows would go on all the packages. She tried to imagine Ian’s reaction to her shopping and decorating spree. Would he look at her with disappointment in his eyes or would he smile and say something kind and wonderful? Now, the clinic was in the black. Everything he’d predicted had come to pass. Six more months and his student loans would be paid off. For now, every extra cent went toward the loans and the cheap apartment they lived in.
Ian had worked even harder than she had in this past year and a half. He was as bone weary as she was, but it had been his decision to keep the clinic open twenty-four hours a day. When he came home at 11 P.M., he was on call during the night. She could count on one hand the nights he got to sleep through until morning. When Ian fell into bed, they cuddled and told each other it was just a few more months, then it was all going to be worth it. Every night he kissed her and thanked her for working at his side. Sex was just a sweet memory. Both of them were too tired to put forth any real effort, always promising one another the weekend would be for lazing about and making wild, crazy love. It never happened, though. The weekends were devoted to emergencies, grocery shopping, laundry, and her stint at Heckling Pete’s.
They had a covering doctor now and a covering office manager. It had been Ian’s idea so they could start the first of the new year fresh and with energy to spare. As if she would ever have energy again. All her git up and go had departed a long time ago. She wasn’t sure about Ian’s stamina. He looked weary beyond words. Was success worth all of this sacrificing? Their youth was gone, if they’d ever really had a youth. The early years of their marriage were gone, never to be recaptured.
The years between thirty and forty were supposed to be prime years. Would hers and Ian’s be prime?, She wished for a crystal ball. She was still daydreaming when Ian walked through the door.
“It smells like Christmas in here,” he shouted.
Emily threw herself into his arms. “You’re early. Why? Is everything okay?”
“Of course. I came home to check on you. I called Garret to come in and cover. Allison is going to stop by and pick up the work I know you didn’t do. She’ll do it this evening.”
“Are you really home for the night?” Emily asked in awe.
“Jesus, Emily, I try, I really do. Let’s not get off track here. I’m here and we’re going to glue ourselves to each other. I say we light the fireplace, pop some corn, and look at that gorgeous Christmas tree. Did you do all that yourself? It smells great. I’m sorry about all the past Christmases, Emily.”
“Shhhh, me too. This is now and we’re going to enjoy it. I can hardly believe Christmas is just three days away. Shall I bake a turkey?”
“You bet. With all the trimmings. Let’s go to midnight mass too.”
“Oh, Ian, really. Do you mean it?”
“I certainly do. We have to try going to church more often. We’re going to start doing a lot of things we never had time for. It’s time for us, Emily.”
“Like what?” she said, snuggling into the crook of his arm.
“Like we should go ice skating when the ponds freeze. We should go to the mall and browse around, maybe take a ride to the shore and walk along the boardwalk and huddle into our winter coats. Remember how we used to do that? We’d walk for hours, freeze our tushees off, and then go for hot chocolate. I want to do that again.”
“Oh, me too, Ian. I’d love it. What else?”
“Let’s go to New York to see all the Christmas decorations. We can ice skate at Rockefeller Center.” Emily clapped her hands in delight. “We can browse down Fifth Avenue and look at all the wonderful window displays. We’ll buy ourselves new outfits while we’re there.”
“Pinch me,” Emily gurgled. Ian obliged. “Ouch! Anything else?”
“How about five days in the Cayman Islands? Just you and me. I think we can take five days off around the middle of January if you want to go.”
“Do I want to go? Do I want to take another breath? Of course I want to go. Pinch me again.” Ian pinched her a second time. “Okay, okay, this isn’t a dream.”
“It means more now, doesn’t it. I think we’re both really going to appreciate it after all our hard work. We can’t stay anywhere that’s really expensive and we’ll pretty much have to eat on the cheap because the air fare is expensive. Do you care about that?”
“Not a bit. Is this our Christmas present?”
“No way. I bought you a present. Did you buy me one?” he asked slyly.
“Yep. Oh, Ian, you are absolutely right, it means more now. I’m going to mark it off on the calendar and count the days, but not right now. Right now I want to stay here with you.”
“Where you belong. God, I love you, Emily. You are one of a kind. You are the kindest, the warmest, the gentlest, the most generous human being I’ve ever met.”
“Oh, tell me more. More,” Emily begged.
“Not until I change my clothes, make a fire. Hey, does that fireplace really work? What’s for dinner? Let’s eat in front of the fire.”
“I think it works. The box of firewood the last tenant left is still