“It’s worth the pain, darling.” He took my panties from his lap and briefly rubbed them against his cheek before slipping them into his jacket pocket. Then he leaned forward to give me a long, slow kiss. It was the prelude to another incredible night.
As soon as we entered the foyer of his apartment, I dropped to my knees and upzipped his fly. I pulled out his shaft and gave the head several long, slow licks. I sucked the head as hard as I could while I stroked the shaft.
“Gillian, please…you’re going to make me come too quickly….”
I stopped sucking for a moment and stared up at him. His face was contorted with the effort to stay in control.
“I want you to come,” I murmured. “I want you to shoot a big load into my mouth. And when you’re done, you’ll satisfy me with your tongue.”
I sucked the head again even harder. David grasped my hair and plunged his shaft deep, crying out as the cum shot into my mouth. I swallowed.
“Now it’s my turn.” I stood and pushed him to his knees. I pulled up my skirt and pressed my pussy against his lips. He kissed and licked my pussy lips and then sucked gently on my clit.
“Fuck me with your fingers while you suck my clit,” I panted.
He slid three fingers inside my hot, wet hole. The ache in my pussy intensified until it was almost unbearable. I finally convulsed around his fingers. He slowly removed his fingers from my pussy and licked off the cum.
Mary came to the city and took me out for lunch at a lovely café near Central Park West. I chattered happily about my booming career as we attacked our grilled salmon salads.
“Of course the Law & Order part was a one-off, but I think I made a real impression. The commercial shoot went well, too. Ellen told me the radio station is planning a second commercial, and they want me again. They’re probably going to use shots from the commercials for print ads and billboards as well.”
Mary beamed at me. “I’m so happy for you, Gillian. I knew you’d make it if you just hung in there.”
“Well, God knows I’ve come close to giving up. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve nearly thrown in the towel and moved back to Hanson. But I kept thinking, what the hell would I do in Hanson? I can’t imagine pursuing any career but acting.”
“I know it sounds corny, but you followed your heart, and now you’re reaping the benefits. Speaking of your heart…how’s your love life these days? I’ve been hoping you and Steve would get back together.”
I glanced away from her sharp blue eyes. “Well, no. I’m afraid it’s never going to work with Steve.” I gave her a quick explanation.
Mary looked surprised. “I never thought Steve might be gay. It’s a shame…for you, anyway. He’s such a nice guy, and he really seemed to care about you.”
“He did…he does. Actually we’re on pretty good terms. I like him better as a friend than a boyfriend.”
Mary leaned forward and cupped her chin in her hands. “I’m sure other men are pursuing you. Anyone interesting?”
I nearly squirmed. “Well, I’ve been dating David Wentworth for a while now.”
Mary took a small sip of iced tea. “Of course, David Wentworth. How’s it going?”
“Pretty well. We enjoy…each other’s company.” I could talk to Mary about nearly anything, but I was sure she’d be shocked if she knew what I did with David.
“I see.” She gave me a penetrating gaze, and I knew that she knew. She knew that David and I had a wild sex life—and that sex was the primary focus of our relationship.
“Are you falling in love with him?” she asked casually.
“Oh, no, it’s not like that,” I responded rapidly. “Really, it’s just a fling. We don’t have much in common. Like I said, we just…enjoy each other. It’s not going to last long. Actually, I’m surprised it’s lasted as long as it has.”
“I see,” she said again. “Well, sometimes it’s fun to have a little fling. I’m glad you’re having a good time.” Mary was a talented actress, but I knew her too well. She was worried about me.
I leaned across the table and touched her hand. “It’s okay, Mary. I remember what you said about being careful with David. He’s not going to hurt me. I won’t let him.”
As I walked along Central Park West to a bus stop, I thought about our conversation. I had told Mary the truth about David—it was just a fling. I wasn’t falling in love with him.
“But you could fall in love with him,” said Miss Prudence. “If he’d let you.”
“He’ll never let me. He’s so careful to keep his distance,” I replied.
It was a thought I’d kept at the back of my mind. The truth had been nagging at me, but I’d refused to acknowledge it before. David didn’t want a relationship with me. He just wanted to fuck me.
“He’s been using you,” Miss Prudence pointed out. “You’re just his little sex toy. He’ll dump you when he’s had enough.”
I felt a sudden dull ache in my stomach. I sat down on a bench and stared at autumn leaves falling from the Central Park trees. Had I been fooling myself all this time, pretending this affair with David was wonderful when I was just allowing myself to be used?
Miss Hornypants butted in. “You enjoy the sex as much as he does. So who’s being used? You knew from the start this wouldn’t last. You and David aren’t right for each other. A serious relationship would never work.”
I closed my eyes and expelled a long breath. Miss H. was right again. David and I had nothing in common except sex. So I’d just keep enjoying our time together. When it ended, I’d move on to a real relationship.
The ache in my stomach was gone. I decided to skip the bus and walk the rest of the way home. I was going to enjoy this glorious fall day. I was going to savor every moment fully and not fret about the future.
I found this resolution was difficult to keep. I couldn’t help feeling aware of the shallow nature of my relationship with David. We fucked. Then we fucked some more. That was it. Even our conversations revolved around sex.
My attempts at real dialogue failed miserably. One night at Francesca’s I made the mistake of bringing up his ex-wife, Anna.
“So how long were you married?” I asked.
“Three years.” He seemed very intent on cutting his filet mignon.
“If you don’t mind my asking…what happened? Why did you split up?”
David glanced up from his plate briefly. “She was an alcoholic. I used to find empty gin bottles hidden in shoe boxes. I tried to persuade her to get help, but she refused.”
“Oh…I’m so sorry.”
David shrugged. “The last straw was when she started talking about having a baby. I knew she’d keep drinking throughout her pregnancy…with God knows what kind of results. So I gave her an ultimatum—rehab or divorce. She chose divorce.”
“God, that must have been rough. Did she ever go to rehab? Is she okay these days?”
David shrugged again. “Beats me. I wanted her out of my life as quickly as possible, so I gave her a large one-time settlement. We haven’t talked since the last meeting at our attorney’s office. I heard that she moved to California.”
I was shocked by his dismissive tone. I was sure he was just covering up his pain and disappointment. “It must have been so hard for you to end your marriage that way—”