“You need something, Miss Shelke?”
The brusque voice startled her. Her eyes connected with the monitor’s stern ones behind the horn-rimmed glasses. It was more a reprimand than a question. Students were supposed to mind their own business and not let their gazes wander. If they needed something, they were supposed to raise their hands and ask.
“No, m—madam,” she murmured, hot embarrassment flooding her face. She could sense everyone’s attention on her. She’d interrupted their concentration on their precious exam.
“Then why are you wasting time?” The monitor approached Vinita’s desk, the starch in her cotton sari making a crackling sound with each measured step. She was a thin, humorless woman, who made the students’ bones rattle with fear. One word from her could have someone expelled from the exam, even from the college, permanently.
“Sorry, madam. My eyes were tired,” Vinita mumbled. She’d never been reprimanded in class before. Tears of humiliation stung her eyes, but she fought them back.
The pigeon-faced woman glared at her, making it clear she didn’t believe Vinita for one moment. Then she abruptly turned around and went back to her chair at the front of the class.
Somehow Vinita managed to keep her head down and get through the exam. Then she left the classroom and headed for the ladies’ lounge, the humiliation lingering like a bitter after-taste. That was the last exam of the year. Blessed relief! And yet the familiar feeling of joyful release was absent.
Prema was waiting for her in the large, crowded lounge. Every conversation buzzing around was about exams: Oh God, that political science exam was horrible; I think I did okay on question number three but not four; my statistics paper was so easy this time; I’m sure the Hindi quiz is going to be a killer this afternoon…
“How was it?” Prema asked. She had just finished an English Lit exam herself.
“Bad,” replied Vinita on a rueful note.
Prema chuckled as she lifted her stack of books off the floor. “You always say that—”
“I don’t.”
“—but then you end up scoring the highest marks. You’re such a clever liar.”
“This time I’m not lying.” Vinita rubbed her temple. “I’m too tired to even think about it anymore.”
Prema peered at her closely. “Your eyes are red. Getting sick or something?”
Yeah, sick at heart, Vinita thought with an inward grimace, but shook her head instead. “Didn’t get any sleep last night. It’s this stupid exam.”
“Well, you’re done for the year. We’re both done for the year.” Prema grinned. “No more classes and exams for eight whole weeks. Freedom!”
“Yes, freedom,” Vinita echoed blandly. She followed Prema out the door and down the steps leading to the portico, the same place she’d bumped into Som that evening not long ago.
As she breathed in the hot outdoor air, she wished Prema wasn’t with her. Not that she didn’t love Prema dearly, but she liked walking home alone these days. It was easier to think without interruptions, to let her mind wander. And easier to meet up with Som. Besides, Prema was bouncing with excitement because the long-awaited summer holidays were finally here.
Vinita wished she could join in her friend’s elation. Wouldn’t that be nice and simple? Just like it used to be until recently, when the two friends let out a whoop of relief at the end of March, when final exams were over. Then they’d make elaborate plans for the months of April and May.
Back then, the summer holidays had felt like they would last forever and school was only a distant and hazy blot on the horizon. Both of them would open their arms wide and embrace the scorching sun like flowers waiting to blossom. And they’d bask in it for hours each day, ride their bikes, until their brown skin turned black, until they were ready to drop from exhaustion.
Well, those were the old days of childlike delight in the most ordinary things. Now she and Prema were nearly adults and summer had lost its brilliance. Lately, it seemed like Vinita had no interest in anything or anyone.
She lived for one thing, one person: Som.
This year, unlike the previous years, the summer holidays were going to be a major hindrance. All these weeks it had been relatively easy to steal away after classes to meet Som—an hour or two of bliss. But now, without college as an excuse, her only reason for leaving home was the occasional movie with her friends—and her dance lessons three afternoons each week. She’d have to think of some way to work around them so she could carve out some time to see Som.
Prema interrupted her thoughts when she said, “I hope you’re going straight home.” Her expression was just a hair short of a warning.
Vinita avoided the censorious glare and continued to walk toward the gate. “I…I’m not sure.”
“Vini, how many times do I have to say you’re begging for trouble?”
“I won’t get into trouble.”
Prema stopped in her tracks and stared at Vinita, her dark eyes fairly dripping with disapproval. “That’s what you said the last time I warned you. Now you’re meeting that horrible chap almost every day.”
“He’s not horrible!” Vinita shot back, and realized too late that she’d raised her voice to the point of calling attention to herself and Prema. Students standing around were gawking with obvious interest. “Let’s not talk about it here,” she hissed through clenched teeth. It was bad enough that most of the campus knew about her and Som. Now they’d know her best friend condemned it, too.
“Fine, let’s discuss it somewhere else.” Prema started to walk faster. Vinita had to hurry to keep pace with her. Prema’s thin lips were clamped shut. They practically disappeared when she was annoyed or unhappy. She had an expressive face that always indicated her mood.
As they reached the campus gates, from the corner of her eye Vinita noticed Som’s friends sitting atop the wall as usual. Som wasn’t with them, which meant he was probably waiting for her at the café. Her pulse did an ecstatic somersault.
The minute they were on safer ground, Prema slowed down and turned to her. “Tell me you’re not going to continue this…affair with Som Kori…now that college is over for the year.”
“I wish I could.” Vinita shook her head. “But I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Prema demanded.
“Both…I guess,” Vinita replied, afraid to meet her friend’s punishing gaze.
“Then you’re on your own. I don’t want to be involved in lying to your mother anymore.”
Vinita winced. “I thought you were my friend. Guess I was mistaken.”
“And I thought you were brighter than the rest of us,” said Prema. “Apparently I was mistaken, too.”
Tears sprang to Vinita’s eyes. “How can you say such mean things?”
Prema gave a frustrated groan. “Because nothing else will get through to you.” She quickened her pace once again. “Som will probably be waiting for you, so I’ll go on home.”
“Prema, wait.” But Prema was almost running, so Vinita slowed down and watched her weave her way through the pockets of pedestrians, her turquoise salwar-kameez-clad figure slowly dissolving into the distance.
For a moment Vinita stood still, feeling abandoned. Prema and she had been inseparable since kindergarten. Was Vinita willing to lose a precious friendship because of her unwillingness