I was the only girl from our family in the ten to twelve age group, with Ann and Trudy the closest to my age, but three years my senior and junior. Ann was in the big girls area; from thirteen to sixteen years old. Trudy and Margaret were in the group from six to nine. The two youngest sisters, Lidy and Ineke, were in the littlies group, aged from two to six.
Although I was surrounded by people, I felt isolated; unable to talk to anyone. It never occurred to me the nuns may be approachable. That had not been my experience with any of the nuns I had dealt with throughout my life. I’d always had a fear of nuns and other religious people, like brothers and priests. I believed they could see into my very soul; they were holy people, and God gave them special powers to see all the wrong deeds and thoughts I had.
On Sunday the second of November, Papa collected us and took us for a walk in a nearby park.
When we returned to the orphanage we were once again ushered into the front room, where we were met by Mother Superior. I didn’t like that room. As far as I was concerned it was a bad news room.
So it was a pleasant surprise when Papa said, “How would you all like to come home in about two weeks?”
“Yes!” The answer came in unison.
“Do you remember Tante (Aunty) Jos, one of Mama’s cousins?”
I vaguely remembered a tall lady, always elegantly dressed, who attended various family functions.
“Aunty Jos has agreed to become our housekeeper. She will come each morning, and go home each night after dinner.”
“When will we go home, Papa?” I asked excitedly. Maybe I can be home for my birthday.
“I’ve organised with Mother Superior for you to come home on Sunday, the sixteenth of November.”
“But Papa, why can’t we go home on Saturday?”
“Why? What difference does one day make, Marijke?” Papa sounded a bit annoyed.
“Papa, it’s my birthday!” I can’t believe you would forget my birthday. Of course I didn’t understand he had far more pressing matters to deal with since Mama’s death. But I wanted to be home for my birthday. I knew it still wouldn’t be the same, but it would be better than here at the orphanage.
“Oh Marijke, I forgot, I’m sorry. Of course, you can all come home on your birthday. I’m sure Aunty Jos will bake a special birthday cake for you.”
“Thank you Papa,” I replied, pleased to have my way.
“Oh, and one other thing, we’re moving house before you come home. We’re moving to Amsterdam South, so Aunty Jos can travel to and from her home easier.”
“No, Papa, we can’t move. Papa, please, I want to go back to my old school, with my old friends.” I don’t believe it! What else is going to change in my life?
“That’s just not possible, Marijke. We’ve already signed the lease on the new apartment and we’re moving this week. By the time you come home, everything will be settled.”
“No, Papa, please don’t make me change schools again, please!” I began to cry. I looked around at my brothers and sisters. They were all quiet and seemed quite happy to move to another school.
Papa looked up at Mother Superior. “Would it be all right if Marijke continues her schooling here?”
She nodded in agreement.
“How would that suit you, Marijke? It’s not so far to travel from Amsterdam South to here.”
I looked at Papa, and then at Mother Superior. Although I really wanted to go back to Amsterdam North, and to the school I had attended since kindergarten, I knew this was not possible.
“Yes, I’d like that. I like this school and I have some friends here.”
“That’s fine by me, Marijke,” Mother Superior said, “but you will have to ensure you get to school on time. OK?”
“Yes Mother, I will. Thank you.”
“Well, that’s settled then. I’ll come and collect you all after you finish your morning school on Marijke’s birthday.” Papa looked relieved.
I felt a little guilty that I had kicked up a fuss, but the thought of moving house, and changing schools was overwhelming me. I would have to make new friends all over again. It was all getting too much; everything seemed to be getting out of control. My life was changing at will and I couldn’t do anything about it.
After Papa left, Mother Superior asked me to stay for a chat, telling the others to return to their rooms.
“I hope you realise that we don’t usually let children from outside the orphanage attend our school. But you are a good student, and I understand that it would be really difficult for you to change schools again. So I’ve made this concession. Please don’t let me down. Keep your grades up, and make sure you help your Papa as much as you can. Promise?”
“Yes Mother, I will.”
As I left the room I felt Mother Superior had understood what was going through my mind, and my wish not to change schools. I suddenly felt a bit more optimistic about my future. I’d still be able to remain friends with Ursula and Hennie and some of the other girls here.
Chapter 4
I woke up early on my birthday, and stripped my bed in the dormitory. “I’m going home today, I’m going home today,” I sang to myself. But where is home? My excitement was mixed with trepidation. Will there be a birthday cake and a present for me? Will Papa have remembered?
Saturdays were half school days. I had trouble concentrating in class, but finally the bell rang. I ran from the class to the dormitory to collect my few personal belongings, and change into my own clothes. I skipped down the steps, and almost knocked Sister Geertruida down the stairs.
“Marijke, please slow down. You know you’re not allowed to run down the stairs or in the corridors.” But she didn’t sound too annoyed, she had a half smile on her face.
“Sorry Sister.” I tried to hide the excitement in my voice, but not very successfully.
“I believe you’re leaving us today. Oh, by the way, Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you Sister.”
“Maybe we’ll see you again some time.” Oh, I hope not, I never want to come back here again. I knew the nuns were good to us, but I never ever wanted to come back here, ever!
“Go have your lunch and your Papa should be here soon to take you home.”
I walked to the dining room, and gulped down my sandwiches and a glass of milk.
After prayers I said goodbye to the other girls and headed for the front door. I was the first one there, but was soon joined by my brothers and sisters. I hadn’t seen them yet that morning, and they all wished me a happy birthday. Papa walked in a couple of minutes later. Mother Superior wished us all the best and we walked outside. Yes! I’m going home AND it is my birthday.
We caught the tram to Amsterdam South, and then we walked about five minutes down a wide street before we arrived at our new home.
I looked around to familiarise myself with this new area. Opposite was a kindergarten and playground, with high steel fences and gates. Before opening the front door, Papa told us that when he and Mama were first married in 1942 they had lived in this street. Willie and Ann were both born there before the family moved to Amsterdam North at the end of the war.
This was the first time I’d heard Papa talk about Mama since the day she died, and I choked up.
Papa opened