As I began to talk to her about Ashley and how much I missed her and worried about her, tears welled up in my eyes. I was too hood to just start bawling or to straight up cry in front of Candy but she could see how all this talking had made me feel real emotional about my daughter. Candy got closer trying to comfort me. She told me that everything would be alright.
“I hope so,” I said. “I just wish I knew where she was.”
That probably was eating at me more than anything. And the thing, I can’t just pick up the phone and start calling around searching for my daughter because I’ll get locked up.
I didn’t want any breakfast, so Candy came to the kitchen table sat in front of me and began eating the food that she had prepared. She asked about my family and if there was anybody that I was close to that would be willing to help me out in terms of locating my daughter.
“Yeah there’s relatives and close friends I could reach out to but those are the exact same people that I can’t have contact with because the cops and the feds are watching. You kna’imean? With me on the run, it’s not like I can just pick up the phone and call whoever I want to or just go by and visit whoever I want to.”
“I’ll see what I can do for you. I mean, I know some people that work with me who might be able to help. There’s this cool Italian dude at my job and I think his wife is a social worker so maybe she might be able to get some info on your daughter.”
“Candy, whatever you can do, I would really appreciate it... Matter of fact, if you can help me find out where Ashley is at, I’ll hit you off with like two g’s. It’ll be like a finder’s fee,” I said with a smile.
“Two thousand dollars? Promise, you ain’t gotta do that!”
“I know I don’t but I want to...”
Our conversation continued for hours. When we were through talking, Candy showed me around and explained where the towels and soap were so I could take a shower. Being that I couldn’t just leave her apartment and freely walk the streets, I couldn’t take Candy up on her offer later in the morning but I gave her $1500 and told her to buy some food with that money. I also gave her my clothing measurements and instructed her to pick up some much needed clothing outfits for herself and for me.
Eventually I got tired and as Candy went about her business for the day, I crashed in her bedroom. She had a nice king size waterbed. It was so much better than the hard lumpy sofa bed that Grams had me sleeping on. Chillin’ at Candy’s crib was real cool and seeing her was even better. I really liked her vibe.
Later on that night after Candy had come home and was preparing to go to sleep, she started talking church and bible talk. She told me that I needed to pray and ask God to help me figure things out.
I laughed as I said to Candy, “Yeah right! God don’t wanna hear from me. I already know I’m going to hell so it don’t matter. I can’t remember the last time that I prayed to God and I ain’t never read the bible in my life!”
Even after saying what I had said, Candy didn’t trip and didn’t get all pushy with the religious nonsense. She did say that she was gonna show me something in the bible that would shed some light on what I had been going through.
“When did you get all religious?” I asked.
“I’m not religious. I’m spiritual!” Candy replied. “And there is a big difference.”
Trying to bring the conversation in another direction, I moved closer to Candy and said, “So why don’t you and me let our spirits connect right now?”
“What you talkin’ about?” she asked.
“I’m sayin’.”
“You sayin’ what?” Candy asked with a smile.
“Why don’t you let a nigga hit that?”
Candy fell out laughing.
“What?” I asked.
“Is that what it’s gotten to now? That’s how niggas ask for pussy?” Then in a playful attempt to mock my voice, Candy stated, “Why don’t you let a nigga hit that?”
The two of us both started laughing at the situation because it really was funny. I moved closer to her and I started kissing on her neck and I told her, “Come on, you know how I do...”
Candy was getting turned on and I could tell that she was gonna comply with my request to let me hit it but out of nowhere she stopped and told me to hold up.
“I’m a give you some but I just want you to see this first.” Candy left the room and I couldn’t believe that the bitch came back with a bible and flipped it open and started reading from Proverbs. “Promise, this is from Proverbs 1:10 -16”
My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, “Come along with us; let’s lie in wait for someone’s blood, let’s waylay some harmless soul; let’s swallow them alive, like the grave, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; we will get all sorts of valuable things and fill our houses with plunder; throw in your lot with us, and we will share a common purse”— my son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood. “Do you understand that?” Candy asked.
“Yeah, actually I do... That’s deep right there,” I responded with full sincerity.
“Promise, I am definitely not preaching to you and I know I have my own issues but your problem is that you associate with the wrong people. Squeeze called you that night to go after Nine and his people and you listened to him and now look. And I know how y’all used to stick people up and all of that... It’s like when you’re young and you don’t know any better, that’s one thing. But Promise, you can’t look at the past and try to change it because the past is the past. The only thing that you can do is focus on the future. What I would say is just do you! Do you and stay away from the streets. Focus on finding your daughter and getting things straight legally. And I’m telling you, start praying! It works.”
Candy reminded me so much of Audrey because she was telling me what I needed to hear, and she was right.
“You right Candy... And I’m a listen to you.”
After I said that, there was this brief silence then Candy put the bible away and came close to me and started kissing on my neck this time.
“A nigga still wanna hit this?” Candy asked in a joking way.
We both laughed, and then I replied, “Nah, you killed the mood with all of that seriousness and the bible but I needed to hear it though.”
Candy apologized for killing the mood but the rest of the night wasn’t a complete waste as the two of us just chilled in her room watching a Sanford and Son marathon on the TV Land channel.
Sunday afternoon rolled around. Candy and I were in her living room chillin’, listening to the radio and drinking some rum and coke. We had to turn down the volume on the music because it sounded like someone was at her door.
“You expecting somebody?” I asked getting nervous thinking it was the cops. I quickly realized that if the cops had any inclination to get me inside, there would be no way that they’d politely knock and ask to come in.
“Nah, I’m not expecting anyone.”
“Just to be safe I’m a hide in your bathroom. I’ll be behind the shower curtain,” I said as I scurried off.
Candy’s bathroom was situated right