“You have a preoccupation with escaping.”
“You often feel frustrated because you are not getting things done.”
“You have lost a sense of gratitude and wonder about life.”
“You sometimes have a gnawing feeling that there has to be more to life than this.”4
Do phrases like this describe your life most of the time? These are indicators of a hurried life. Perhaps you are trying to do too much.
This may not seem like a spiritual question, but who does the laundry, cooking, shopping, and cleaning at your home? What if those tasks were shared by all who live in your household? Making my children do their own laundry dramatically improved my spiritual life because it slowed the pace of my life. What small changes could you make to slow down the pace of your life?
One way to begin to answer that question: write out your monthly schedule on a one-page calendar. What have you said yes to on a weekly, monthly, or daily basis? Begin to pray about which things you ought to prune from your life.
DAY 4
REVIEW OF THE DAY
When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.
They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while h e talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:30-32 NIV)
What was the highlight of your day?” Gathered around the dinner table, this query was always on the menu. Our children, small and eager, learned to reflect, to pay attention to each day. We’d often add its counterpoint: what was the “low-light,” the challenge you faced? We asked them to live aware and attentive: “Where did you notice God in your day?”
Our habitual question no longer needs to be spoken aloud. Our sometimes recalcitrant children, now grown into teenagers, still offer a review of their day at dinner. The table becomes a place of connection to God and to each other, to share hopes and disappointments, accomplishments and failures—all washed in grace of acceptance.
By asking and listening, both at dinner and bedtime, we taught our children an ancient practice, labeled in some traditions “the examen” or “the examination of consciousness” or simply a “review of the day.” By this daily practice, we become aware of the paths our thoughts traveled, the emotions or actions that the day’s events evoked.
We’d asked that question at weekly small group meetings we led. Knowing they’d face the question “Where did you see God this week?” trained those we shepherded to look for him, to notice him in moments of beauty as well as challenge, in answered prayer as much as unfulfilled longings. Sharing our “God moments” testified that God was indeed present and active in our daily lives.
When we slip into bed at night, Jesus is with us still. Like a loving parent, he watches over us. As we continue to build the habit of becoming aware of his presence during the day, we can add the discipline of a review of the day. We can ask ourselves, and honestly answer, questions like “Where did I notice God?” or “What was I grateful for?” Bookending my day with such questions inspires me to look for and name the blessings in my life.
The story in Luke 24 of two of Jesus’ friends on the road to Emmaus after his death shows how we can move through life unaware. Grief-blinded to the truth of Jesus’ presence, they missed an important opportunity—to worship the risen Christ. It was only upon later reflection that these two realized with whom they’d been speaking. In much the same way, we often get mired in our problems and challenges, so much so that we cannot see that Jesus is right in front of us. The practice of examen or review trains us to look back and notice, so that gradually we will notice in the moment.
This ancient practice is both a form of self-examination and a practice to usher us into thankful worship. In the evening, before bed or around our evening meal, we simply scroll through the key events—the joys and the challenges—of our day, from beginning to end. Where did we notice Jesus? Where did we seek and receive his help? Where did we go our own way, make steps off course, even unintentionally? We had opportunities to love others—what did we do with those opportunities? We had blessings to be grateful for—were we actually grateful? Where did we say yes to him? Where did we quench his spirit? What caused that? Often, we miss opportunities to love others, to notice where God is at work, to see Jesus in the face of a stranger—because we are in a hurry.
This spiritual practice must be bathed in grace. It is not a path to guilt but to self-awareness. Through it we see what Jesus already sees—and relax into the fact that he loves us anyway! It may lead us into confession, but we must remember that nothing we confess surprises Jesus. He knows already, but he asks us to be truthful about ourselves, so that we can truly experience his grace.
Adele Calhoun writes of this practice: “The examen is a wonderful tool for discerning the places you feel most alive, most grateful, most present to the fruit of the Spirit as well as the times and places where you do not.”1
Taking just a few moments at the close of the day to reflect and review will fortify our relationship with Jesus. When we look back over the day and glean the lessons hidden in it, name the ways we failed, and accept his ready forgiveness, we will grow in our ability to be aware of his presence.
We can both thank him for his gifts and confess our shortcomings—knowing that we are deeply loved and protected even as we admit our mistakes.
PRESENCE PRACTICE
Be intentional about ending your day. Shut off your computer. Tuck your children into bed. Give yourself some “wind-down” time before bed to simply relax—perhaps by reading, or listening to quiet music. Refrain from zoning out in front of the television—it’s rarely relaxing, especially if you invite the tragic, violent assault of watching the nightly news.
Before you get too sleepy, take some time to very simply scroll back through the events of your day. If it helps you stay focused, you may want to jot down your thoughts in a journal. Some prefer to think of the review of the day as creating a short video of your day in your imagination—the key events. What people did you interact with? Use specific words to describe those interactions. What tasks did you have to accomplish? How did you feel about those tasks? Did the tasks become more important than the people? Ask simply: Was I aware of God’s presence? Did I cooperate with the spirit of God, or not?
Each day, we hurt Jesus by ignoring or hurting others. Fearlessly looking at our mistakes seems daunting but puts us on a path to deeper intimacy with Jesus, keener awareness of his grace and forgiveness.
Even when we see the dark side of ourselves, the places we failed to love, we can know that Jesus loves us in spite of this. If we have sinned, we can confess and be forgiven, and move forward, following after him. And if we loved as he would have, we can rejoice.
As you go to sleep, ask Jesus to be with you even as you sleep. Ask him to be your first thought upon waking in the morning. (Make this a practice for the remainder of your forty-day challenge.)
DAY 5
WAKING
God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve