When Lynn joined them, they put away their soldiers and put on Cowboy-and-Indian outfits instead. Lynn and Ralph let Dieter be the Cowboy. With his six-shooter cap-gun, he’d kill them again and again before they were all called in for dinner. But Lynn and Ralph always refused to die, resurrecting themselves to track down Dieter and fire their suction-cup-tipped arrows at his chest. When they killed him, they told him that he was truly dead, that Cowboys couldn’t invoke Indian spirits to bring themselves back to life. Dieter claimed that Swiss Cowboys had that power. And Lynn and Ralph had to allow it because their playground was the woods at Swiss Village.
That was all play. The true rivalry with Ralph started in high school. The school enabled it, even encouraged it. All students belonged to one of four houses, colorfully named Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow. The houses competed both scholastically, grade averages from quarterly report cards posted student by student on large charts adorning the walls of the school’s main hallway, and athletically, results of intramural games displayed on a bulletin board that also charted top athletes’ progress toward a coveted Athletic Letter. Ralph was the best student during the first two years of high school, but Dieter took over that spot when the curriculum turned math-and-science heavy in the junior and senior years. In the gymnasium, Ralph and Dieter, each captain of their houses, pitched their teams fiercely against each other in basketball, volleyball, and floor hockey.
One evening, late in senior year, the rivalry spilled out in front of assembled students, parents, teachers, and the principal. It was the final encounter of their high school careers, the championship of the floor hockey season. Spring of 1967. Ralph’s Red team was down 4–3 in the third period to Dieter’s Yellow team when Ralph stole the puck from Dieter and raced down the left wing. Dieter caught him from behind and cross-checked him off the playing surface into the Red bench. During Dieter’s two-minute penalty, Ralph scored to tie the game. And in the final minute, Ralph stood his ground against Dieter’s rush through the Red defense and sent him to the linoleum floor with a vicious elbow to the face. Both benches cleared. Teachers had to come out of the stands to help the sole referee separate the players. The principal called the game. Fathers besieged the principal on their way out of the gymnasium, complaining that he should have ejected Ralph and Dieter but let the game continue to a resolution. Mothers collared him near the front entrance, claiming it was a disgrace to run such an undisciplined school.
The principal ordered both Ralph and Dieter to appear at his office at eight the next morning, where he summarily stripped them both of the Athletic Letters they would have been awarded at the upcoming graduation ceremony. Told them they were lucky they’d still receive their Scholastic Letters. But Ralph received both letters anyway, Dieter only the one. It wasn’t until their twentieth high school reunion that Dieter found out why. The former principal attended the event and, under pointed questioning from Dieter, admitted that Ralph’s father, chairman of the school board, had intervened on his son’s behalf, arguing that Dieter had been the instigator and should be the only one punished.
Dieter and Ralph didn’t see each other after graduation until that high school reunion. That’s when Dieter saved Ralph’s life, during a one-day excursion to the Rouge River for a little whitewater rafting. Because of his canoeing experience, Ralph joined the guide at the back of the raft, but didn’t make it through the first chute. He fell overboard, was sucked under and bobbed like a cork, choking on the water he’d swallowed. Dieter was the one to pull him out of the river. Ralph was so frightened for his life he must have forgotten who Dieter was and thanked him. Dieter asked him right then, when Ralph was still dazed from the near-drowning, where he stood with Lynn. Ralph didn’t say a thing but his look was answer enough. That was the crux of it. By the time Dieter had finished grad school, he realized it wasn’t any of their battles in athletics or scholastics that killed the earlier friendship. Since middle school, he’d harbored a crush on Lynn. In high school when everyone started dating, she ended up picking the Canadian over the Swiss. But Dieter thought he’d ruined it for Ralph and was shocked to hear that he and Lynn were still together in college. Not surprised, though, that she found someone else to marry. Ralph not ending up with Lynn was small consolation. She was the prize Dieter had wanted. Still does. Sometime he’ll have to apologize for what happened between them. But not tonight. Not with Ralph there.
Dieter checks the rearview mirror and sees a car approaching quickly. That guy’s going to get pulled over. Better him than me— Fuck— It’s the OPP. The illegal radar detector he keeps out of sight on the passenger seat hadn’t registered a warning. The cop must have been tailing him at a distance to clock his speed. He’s hosed. Quebec plates in Ontario. Doubly hosed. But not as bad as Ontario plates in Quebec. Dieter pulls over, unplugs the radar detector and slips it under his trench coat on the passenger seat.
“Good afternoon, officer,” he says, forcing a smile through clenched teeth. Bad afternoon.
“For you I guess. That’s a beautiful car you have, but this is not a speedway. Do you know how fast you were traveling?”
“No officer, I’m afraid I don’t. I was trying to keep to the limit.”
“Really? I clocked you at 150 kilometers per hour. This isn’t an autobahn you know.”
Why would the officer have said that? How could he know that I reside in Germany? Probably the BMW. “Yes, I know.”
“License and registration please.”
This guy’s like a German. No chit-chat. All business. “I’m sorry sir. I reside in Europe most of the year and I sometimes forget where I am. Here’s my international license.”
“And your registration please?”
When the officer returns from his patrol car after ten minutes, he looks at Dieter quizzically. “There are no previous infractions listed against your international license, but your vehicle has been stopped twice during the past six months for speeding in Quebec. You were the driver both times. Do you also carry a Quebec driver’s license?”
“Yes sir, but I forgot to bring it overseas with me this trip.”
“Do you maintain a residence in Quebec?”
“Yes, officer, an apartment in Montreal.”
“I would have thought you’d leave your Quebec license there.”
“Most of the time I do.”
“What is your citizenship?”
“Swiss, sir, but I live in Germany when I’m not here.”
“Do you know that I have the right to confiscate your license?”
“Yes sir.”
“This infraction carries a huge fine. With your record, the next time you’re caught speeding like this, your license will be suspended— Do you understand?”
“Yes sir.”
“That means today too. You get stopped again today—here or in Quebec—and you won’t make it anywhere.”
“Yes officer.” Dieter takes the ticket and his documents and tucks them in the glove compartment. For several minutes he sits fuming. This fucking country. There’s no one else on the road. I could have been traveling 200 kph and it wouldn’t have mattered. I can’t wait to get back to Germany for good. He looks in the side view mirror