Penumbra. Songeziwe Mahlangu

of covenants; he sticks to his agreement. Samson had long fallen off. When he was with Delilah he had already backslidden. But God’s word was: ‘No meat and no wine.’”

      The pastor looks off into the horizon.

      “Do not wish to be in another person’s position. You do not know that person’s struggles. Why you were born, where you were born – do not question those things. See, people in the world want to have certain achievements and things at certain times in their lives. What they forget is that there are also God’s seasons. There are seasons that God sets in your life. When those seasons come, you better be prepared.

      “Do not curse God when he is purifying you. Accept the challenges that come your way. If this is your will, God, then let it be, you should say. Remember, God says: ‘My grace is sufficient.’” The pastor lifts up his right hand and stares into the distance again.

      Sweet tears stream down my cheeks. My time is still coming; life ain’t over. I might not have the accessories that some of my age-mates have, but my turn will also come. Our pastor has been working hard for a long time. Week in, week out, he finishes the service with his jacket sticking to his sweaty back. As a university student, I doubted him when he said circumcision was demonic. In those days I was into Black Consciousness and saw him as demonising African tradition. My acceptance of Christ has required me to get out of my mind, for spirituality is not an exercise of intellect. It’s like Paul says: “These battles are not of the flesh and blood.”

      At the end of the service the pastor calls for people interested in joining a transformation programme to be held in East London to stay behind. I have been humbled. Work is work to me, irrespective of titles or prestige. This initiative would allow me to make a contribution. I write down my details in the roster that is passed around. The only problem is that I’ll be heading to Cape Town in a couple of weeks’ time to clear the flat. I’ll have to miss the first session.

      * * *

      My mother says Tongai is a very sweet boy. She prays for Tongai and Nhlakanipho, asking God to forgive their sins. She even wants to call Tongai to find out if he’s well.

      “Your friends were very worried about you,” my mother says. “Nhlakanipho almost cried when he explained that they did not have a choice. They had to take you to hospital.”

      PART 2

      A Turn Under the Sun