Prelude
Dear Friend,
When thinking of a name for this collection, I refused to take it lightly, so I waited for the perfect title to latch on to me. Like all my projects, I wanted this title to be meaningful.
After reading, When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Cullors & Ashe Bandele, I was introduced to research from Astrophysicist Karel Schrijver and Professor Iris Schrijver regarding humans being made of stardust. This phenomenal research will, indeed, be engraved in my memory forever because it changed my perspective.
Through Christianity, I was taught that the first human was formed from the dust of the ground, which translated to dirt for me. I felt I had been formed from something disgraceful. Disgraceful enough for us to protect our ashes from it once the breath of life escapes us.
For a while it bothered me because, I mean... I don’t like dirt. I know no one who’s thrilled about nor cherishes dirt even in my adult life. The negative connotation had left a scar on my confidence. However, after reading how intertwined we really are with the universe we live in, the couple’s research placed a completely different connotation on that scripture for me. It encouraged me to admire God’s creativity more than ever before.
What a beautiful way to admire one’s self image by acknowledging yourself as a light in this world formed from lights that adorn this world? Knowing that you possess the same admirable energy as the moon and the stars we gaze? Being able to process that you give even seemingly dead things a sense of purpose? Doesn’t that make you feel more important? Worthy? Beautiful?
Like all artists, I leave remnants of myself throughout my bodies of work, subconsciously. You are now following my trail of stardust. After years of being afraid to put my art out there, I came to the realization that our words give us power. I'd rather live in my truth, hoping to make at least one person feel seen or understood as oppose to saying nothing at all. While reading, you will be stargazing the reincarnations of my mind, heart, and soul from various periods of my life thus far. I am honored to share these words with you.
May they lead you towards clarity, healing and redemption.
Be inspired.
n. d. prude
Reciprocation, Lack Thereof
All things beautiful latch on to you
Finding refuge in the nooks and crannies of your insecurities
How paranoid is she
To have doves resting among her crown of glory
With no peace inside
Have they noticed
Her lifeless strut
Or the grit in her grunts
She is more than a strong black woman.
There are needs of hers that remain unmet.
God's Got a Blessing
That black girl felt joy as the summer sun rays bounced from cheek to cheek
Her heart no longer hardened
She experiences freedom for the first time
She experiences what it feels like to be in love with life itself
To have optimism seeping from every window of her soul
Dancing in her eyes as of flickering flames
That black girl found love again
She found peace of the purest kind
That black girl is alive
Childish Soap Opera
Wreck me Ralph until you realize I've gone Looney Tunes
Fight me until there's nothing left
Because at the end of it all we'd have Dragon Tales
Ancient tragedies written in braille
Legends I'd be happy to tell if I could ever get next to you
The last night I saw you
You were covered in Red Riding through the Hood chasing Little Bills
I can't blame you for the life you live because I know Snow White pays the bills
I was your Cinderella hoping you'd chase me until I saw your closet full of glass heels
So let me be honest
I wanna be in love like The Flints instead of finding comfort in Ed, Edd, and Eddie
I'm trying to see us fly high like The Jetsons even though your Power Puffs are still on standby
I wanna be the reason you tell your homies you "Gotta Blast"
So until Ugly Duckling becomes the Swan
You can Wreck me Ralph until you realize I've gone Looney Tunes
Fight me until there's nothing left
Because at the end of it all we'd have Dragon Tales
Ancient tragedies written in braille
Legends I'd be happy to tell if I could ever get close to you
Soul Ties
You had me
Flat on my back suffering from cardiac
Arrest me should still be carved on your backside
Captured by thick thighs and non-existing waist lines
You had become my phone-a-friend
-My lifeline-
Confessions
The scariest thing is that you won't be here for my lifetime
I'm already afraid to lose you
I'm Letting You In
Your existence weighs heavy on my heart,
Drips down like vanilla in high noon,
My God,
Who wouldn't want to water you?
Nourish you?
Experience you?
Love the parts of you that dance in the abyss as of the Psalms of David?
These feelings of mine are righteously being placed before you,
Only with the sweetest intent.
Blessed
I won't lie to you
And tell you
That every day with this soul will be romanticized
5 feet and 5 inches full of love and ambition
No
But I can tell you that there will be days
Dark days full of empty eyes and suicidal guilt
I can tell you
That you'll have to touch me differently at times
Because my trauma will count on me to show out every time
I can be honest enough to say that I'm a bitter bitch
On a mission to become