Here in New York, on Sunday nights they would watch Bonanza that came on at 9:00 p.m. All three would sit in the living room and enjoy watching the Cartwright western family.
This is the way Efrossini was hoping she was going to learn the speaking version of the English language, or so she thought. She loved little Joe. What teenager didn’t?
1961, Efrossini and brother Panos
CHAPTER 13
TERROR
One Sunday evening the aunt said she was going to bed early, she was tired. The uncle sat on the long sofa. Efrossini was sitting opposite the small black and white television set across the room where two living rooms chairs were, side by side. After the aunt left the room and went to bed, Efrossini noticed her uncle pulled his penis outside of his pants and started to stroke it. She was shocked and terrified. He signaled her to come and he said: come and sit next to me.
She jumped up and almost ran to her bedroom locking the door behind her. Shivering with fear with her heart pounding in her chest, scared her heart would explode, she climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She could not believe what she saw. Her mind went into circles. She thought she saw the devil in person. She thought she was going to die. It was nearly impossible for her to calm down.
From that night on, she slept with her door locked. Every night she cried herself to sleep, terrified of what might happen next, never letting her guard down. She walked around feeling her poor little heart trembling and crying in her chest too. She thought she just might have a nervous breakdown. How is it possible to live in such fear, she would ask herself. How was she expected to grow and do well in school and all her house chores when her heart was just aching?
She was also furious that she could not tell her aunt or someone, what had happened to her. She thought of the consequences. She always thought of the consequences. Her aunt would not believe her, she thought. She was much older mentally than her years.
If she wrote to her family her father may come to America and kill the terrible uncle. Her father would end up in prison. Her family would suffer, back in Greece. She was only thirteen years old and burdened with terror. Her safe, beautiful life in a loving home was so far behind her and she was without hope now. What could she do?
Struggling to keep it together she remembered what her mother taught her, the difficult Greek religious prayers.
She also told her no matter where she is, she can always turn to God for guidance. God would give her strength no matter what the situation. God would bring her calm. No, she was not alone, she had God with her. Her mother told her so.
CHAPTER 14
HER SHADOW
God became her shadow. She walked with God. He was her Protector. She apologized to God for anything she did wrong. She constantly thanked God, for being with her, and for anything she had. She had so many beautiful, loving, memories from living with her family in Greece. She tried to think about those memories keeping them alive in her heart and head, to sustain her very self. She felt her childhood was over.
The hungry girl stole bread at night from the middle of the loaf, so it would not be detected. She knew it was wrong to steal but what could she do? Dear God, she would ask: I am so hungry. She was always so hungry. She remembers walking to the local bakery and buying a loaf of bread for her aunt.
It was either whole wheat, rye with caraway seeds or the dark pumpernickel bread. There, she waited in line by taking a number. It was a very busy shop. She did not mind waiting in line. She wished she could work there just to fill her belly by inhaling the wonderful baked goods’ aromas.
She was always tempted to open the wrapper of the bread and taste it, on the way back to their house. She thought of the consequences though. So, she contained herself. She became self-disciplined.
She also stole the aunt’s toothpaste, because the uncle would forget to give her the two-dollar weekly allowance, he had promised her for working so hard, both at school and at their house.
She was scared to ask him when he forgot, remembering that Sunday night. It was always on her mind. The ugliest, scariest memory she had, it was that Sunday night! She tried to stay away from her uncle and refused to talk to him unless he asked her a question.
When Efrossini outgrew her custom made Greek clothes, the aunt would buy her clothes from a used clothing store. This type of a store was not in vogue over 50 years ago in a flourishing country like America, and in the middle and upper middle-class town of Jackson Heights. Once, her other aunt Fotini had donated a green wool coat with a standing collar to that same used clothing store, just the week before. She was so surprised to see it on Efrossini. Her aunt Fotini knew it was previously hers, because of a small tear inside the left sleeve, in the lining.
Efrossini prayed to God, so the aunt and uncle would go out, so she could sneak a shower, and then wipe the whole bathroom dry, so there was no evidence she had taken a much-needed shower, what her growing body needed. She was only allowed one shower per week! Her world had changed immensely, but not the way her parents thought.
In Greece she had three mothers, two were her older sisters. Here, she had none.
She missed her wonderful father who was not only loving, but a walking encyclopedia, also. There were not brothers, sisters, a loving home here. She had no one to hug her or kiss her, or tell her a nice and uplifting thing.
There was no music here or church going on Sunday ways to nurture her soul and now her uncle took away Bonanza that she watched on Sunday evenings.
She was never to watch television again in that environment. Her heart ached from her losses.
She felt so alone, unloved and frightened, but she also had to concentrate on her school work. She came to America to become somebody. She made up her mind, not to complain but to endure it all. She did not wish to disappoint and sadden her relatives, especially her dear father Achillea in Greece. For him she would endure it all!
They had sent her to America for a great opportunity. She decided to endure, to do her best in both the housework and her homework. After her nightly cry in her pillow she would pray to God for strength to pull through the next day. She imagined God’s Giant Hand covering and protecting her body like a warm blanket so she could fall asleep.
She concentrated on her wonderful memories of her loving family in Greece and hoped she would dream about them. When she dreamed about her family she never wanted her dreams to end. The dreams were never long enough for her to enjoy and get some much-needed loving.
She only spoke when she was spoken to. She kept to herself as much as she could after she finished her housework. She would stay up late doing homework, past midnight. She had to wait till everyone went to sleep so she could get some sleep.
This was not a normal home. She was on pins and needles and she felt like she was walking on broken glass. She learned to walk so softly like a cat, so she would not be detected when she went to the kitchen. She was being robbed of her teenage years.
She was forced to be a grown up before her years. She always had to think about consequences. There was a constant CHILL in that house because there was no love!
She never invited a friend to come to her home. Her aunt told her she could not bring anyone there. She only had friends at school. She did not complain to them. But her friends sensed there was something wrong at Efrossini’s home and behind that smile….
When the upstairs tenants were moving out, their teen age boy did not wish to take his thick tire dirt bike with them. So, he left it for Efrossini. Since she never had a bike before, she accepted it gladly. The next