The more videos and documentaries I saw, the more I realized how fearful I was of this entire ordeal. The more I opened my eyes, the more I discovered that everything in my entire life had set me up for a presumption that this would be the most traumatic experience of my life. Movies and television shows exemplifying the terror that women face is beyond the pale of necessity: always portraying women as incapable of controlling their minds and emotions during birth; blaming husbands who stand by frantically as if a partner can never be consoling; always rushing into a hospital as if there wasn’t a more calming environment in which a woman could bring forth life. I felt manipulated and brainwashed and I knew that others deserved to know every bit of information I’d learned from a place of pure empathy and compassion.
Months into my first pregnancy, I knew I had to take the less-traveled road.
Leaving my OB-GYN’s office, I met a woman who not only changed my life, but inspired the newest trajectory my life would take. My midwife, Davi Khalsa, gave me information that I knew had to be shared. It had to extend beyond my world and reach those like myself — who are less likely to learn the information and less likely to be sought after. She not only made me feel capable, worthy and strong enough to birth my babies, but she made me feel like I was never alone. She normalized every single feeling I had and that level of personal understanding was something I believe every single woman deserves during this journey.
I knew that my calling was to reach women and reaffirm the power we all inherently possess.
I knew I had to share of my experiences and inspire women to find their own truth and best self during this entire experience — not be told. The judgment that mothers face is extreme and the psychological scar tissue many of us are dealing with (due to traumatic birthing experiences, stress, postpartum care, et cetera) is an underserved topic that has completely taken over my heart. Maternal death rates are staggering. Yet, they can dramatically change. Through education and empowered perspectives on the entire birthing process, we’ll begin to take back our power and find comfort in the journey. We will find peace through our education and healing through shared experience.
It is my desire that as you read this book, you find within yourself the resolve to release any fear, guilt or perfectionist ideologies of controlling things outside of your realm. In the same breath, I hope to strengthen your belief in the ability to be powerful right now. It’s my goal to encourage you to seek more information on the topics discussed here, in order to best apply them to your life in the most beneficial ways. It is my deepest hope that you never feel judged or bad for any choices you make with your body. This personal journey of motherhood is different for every single woman. And it’s my aspiration that I encourage a level of empathy and sensitivity, understanding and care, open-mindedness and curiosity for this most important moment in time.
As a perpetual student of life, it has become increasingly clear to me that people would much rather remain in a state of misinformation, misunderstanding or ignorance toward a topic if made to feel inadequate, insufficient or degraded. I’ve worked with every breath in my body to ensure you are never made to feel as such.
With care and grave attention to my words, I hope to only embolden curiosity about your body and the wonder you were designed to fabricate. With such a sensitive topic comes a great deal of responsibility and it’s something I do not take lightly.
It is with great love that I’ve created this book in hopes of changing the world in powerful ways. For it’s through our knowledge as women that we will become empowered enough to take back our birthright, to birth how we see fit and to survive. It’s our responsibility to produce life and keep the universal life-force thriving and the time is more relevant than ever to get back in the driver’s seat of our own birth stories.
I pray you are as inspired by this book as I am by you.
Your beauty, strength, resilience and faith aren’t lost on me now, nor will they ever be.
You are a remarkable human being. You were built for this.
I hope by the end of this read, you’ll feel the same way. With love,
Danielle Jai Watson
Chapter 1
Powerful thoughts equate to a powerful life. Positive thinking is convenient and surely an admirable talent to possess. Yet powerful thoughts will always withstand the test of time. Whereas positive thinking signifies a shift in your internal state based on external circumstances, powerful thinking causes a universal shift emanating from your internal state, permeating to the external. Regardless of your situation, powerful thoughts can change everything that is happening around you. Empowered thoughts can create the reality you truly desire and the same is applicable for this phase of your life.
First and foremost, it’s imperative that we return to the truth. And it’s quite simple: women are divinely designed to produce life. Our bodies are uniquely created to bring forth life and we’ve been given the tools needed to accomplish this ardent task with our natural strength and might. We’re not weak dwellings walking aimlessly in search of someone else to take away the pain of childbirth. We were created with the exact amount of hormones, brain power and physical prowess designed to mitigate that pain and make childbirth possible.
Our bodies shapeshift, generate new organs, increase blood flow and much more to prepare for childbirth.
Not only were you built for this moment, but you have express permission to be as honest about this journey as humanly possible. Expressing pain, doubt, fear or adversity does not and will not condemn you to a lifetime of misery or translate to ungratefulness or inadequacy. For some women, pregnancy is bliss while delivery is treacherous. For others, pregnancy is the worst nine months of their lives, while delivery is everything they ever dreamed of. For every woman who has ever had a baby, postpartum is its own monster — and we all struggle through it to some capacity. With this in mind, it’s imperative that we share our stories in order to shed light on the varied realities of the journey into motherhood, in order to inspire, uplift and be reminded of the innate dominance we possess in this process.
While the journey gets hard (and extremely emotional), it’s also imperative that we tap into the very things that make us who we are. It’s essential that we remember how thankful we are for the blessings we’ve been given and not take our gifts for granted. Every phase we encounter during the journey is but a season — a quick moment in time that we can either learn from or complain through. Connecting with other women who are going through and have endured the very same things will empower your resolve to never give up and recognize that you are not alone.
In my studies it’s been noted that most women find themselves completely thrown into the realm of pregnancy, delivery and postpartum — realizing after the fact that we haven’t completely armed ourselves with the educational tools to help ease anxiety and stress. Though experiential knowledge is a more powerful tool than mere semantics, it’s through semantic knowledge that we find ourselves more fully equipped for the surprises that will surely arise. The more we know, the less stressed we will be. The more educated we are on the processes of delivery, the less likely we will be duped into an unwanted birth story. Though it’s indeed true that one can never fully prepare for the surprises labor brings (even with multiple deliveries), the more we know, the better we can fight for what we want and help ensure the best possible start for ourselves and our babies.
This foundation will indeed set the stage for the next phase of our lives. How we prepare for pregnancy will directly impact the pregnancy. How we prepare for birth will directly impact the outcome (keeping in mind anomalies when extreme measures are needed). The stronger the space we build our dynasty, the more impactful that dynasty will be. Our familial empires will be better off the more we arm ourselves with the educational tools to thrive.