We had a lot of fun and learned a ton during that first recording session. At one point, the producer said to us: "You guys are really good. Did you ever think about putting a band together and playing out?" I said, “No” and my partner said, “Yes,” that he had been in bands in Hawaii and didn't really have a desire to go down that path again. On the way home, he explained to me all the typical band horror stories and I could tell he didn't have any interest in pursuing this any further. Over the next year or so, he introduced me to some of his original songs that were just brilliant, and I kept telling him that it would be a crime if we didn’t get back to the studio and record them. We wrote a few songs together and a short time later, we were back in the studio recording our original music. Over the years, we would finally assemble a band called Shades. We did the whole club circuit locally and even opened for a few national acts at a music festival in Ohio. The goal that I had never dreamed of was not only recording one music CD, but two of them. They are still available on iTunes today!
I could write an entire book on the band years because we had so much fun, as well as many struggles, and I finally understood why my partner didn't want to go down that path again musically. Nevertheless, we set small goals for ourselves and accomplished all of them. Before I knew it, I liked the person I saw when I looked in the mirror.
Challenge 2 (Meditation)
Step away from the mirror and take some time to reflect on what you just saw. Most people have different ideas and styles of meditation. For me, I need to be in total darkness with no distractions. It is probably why I never open my curtains or open windows. I like darkness and silence. It helps me think better and answer myself when I have those internal conversations with myself throughout the day and evening. I also like to say, "Alexa, play spa music." If you have one, try it. You won't regret it if that's your kind of thing. I am telling you, nothing beats creating a few minutes for yourself and just being alone in silence. It is something that has always helped me stay on track or be more focused on the things I need to do or the deadlines I need to meet. In silence, I come face to face with me, and in my line of work, it's just me that I can truly rely on. Sure, I could pick up the phone and call up the chain of command for help or answers, but honestly, when I do that I usually find myself venting or complaining to someone else and when I hang up, all that I have accomplished is venting or complaining. I don't feel better and nine times out of ten, I didn't get my problem solved or my questions answered. So create those moments of silence for yourself. Get lost within you.
In the mornings before work, I love to just lie in bed and close my eyes and visualize my day. Your support network isn't your hundreds of friends on Facebook. It's you. Don't waste your time on social media crying the blues and looking for validation. I often tell people at work not to vent laterally because those people in your same job position cannot fix your issue. You have to vent up the chain of command when you have problems at work and you want them solved. If that doesn't work, then write your problems down on a piece of paper and then throw it out. Tell God and keep it to yourself. If you want more stress in your life, vent on Facebook.
Spend time with yourself in your mind, because it is only going to be you who is going to make the choices you need to make in life. You may be familiar with the saying, "I had a gut feeling." That’s right; listen to it. Our bodies are designed to heal and speak to us when we need them to. No one’s gut feeling is going to say, "Get on Facebook and air your problems to the world." If you're looking for fifty thumbs up and smiley face icons, then do that. If you are looking for real definitive action, solutions, and answers, it is going to come from what you discover within you when you make the time to meditate.
Challenge 3 (Grooming and Attire)
I have never been a real fashionable kind of guy. Pretty much my entire life, I have been in some kind of uniform. When I am off work, I love to dress down and when I am at work, it's some kind of uniform. The fundamental facts support that there are societal standards we sometimes have to live by, especially in the business world. In my field, if we have facial hair, that means that our gas mask isn't going to seal properly in the event that we are deployed into an area where that life-saving equipment cannot fail. No facial hair, or properly groomed facial hair, in the business world means they want you to look professional and not like Grizzly Adams, because the aesthetic might not be right for their brand. Either way, grooming is something we have to pay attention to and commit time to doing. If we are going to do it, let's do it right, and no, I am not saying go out and buy thousand-dollar Gucci suits or Coach purses, but I am saying there are small things that matter. This is where that attention to detail thing becomes so important for leaders.
I realize everyone reading this book may not wear a professional uniform. The same one, the same look, day after day, but the same grooming rules apply. If you are that person that has the food stain on every shirt, jacket, and hoodie that you wear, then you obviously realize that isn't a good look, right? It is definitely not the look of a leader. I am not above getting the occasional food stain on my shirt, but I am prepared for it if and when it does happen. This leads me to this point.
Make an emergency kit for what you're wearing – Tide pens, Tide wipes, or whatever we are calling them these days, but have something so you can quickly fix it. If you have the luxury of having a locker or closet in your office, keep a spare shirt handy because there will come a time when you need it. Can we jump to shoes really quick? If you wear shoes that are meant to have a shine to them, then shine them. I see too many people walking around that look like they shined their shoes with a Hershey bar. It looks horrible, it looks sloppy, and more importantly, it looks like they just gave up. Certainly not the quality I look for in leaders.
If you wear clothing that is meant to be ironed or dry-cleaned, then by all means, make sure you treat your articles of clothing to that luxury. Nothing beats the look of a well-ironed shirt or blouse or the crisp look of a dry-cleaned pair of pants or jacket. The wrinkled, just-slept-in look usually works best for college students or reporters that live inside the media van fourteen hours a day. Did you know there is a magical thing called wrinkle release? It’s another great addition to your clothing emergency kit that you're going to make.
Do you carry scissors or a small Swiss Army knife? If you don't have one or carry them in your purse or pocket, do yourself the favor and grab one of those items. Those little strings that appear on your clothes out of nowhere, yeah, those things, we have to get rid of them as soon as they appear. Don't just pull on them – cut them. Some people have even burned them off, but I prefer the cut method. In the military, we referred to those little strings as Irish pennants. Don't ask me why; that's just what I grew up knowing them as. They are like the weeds that grow on clothing, and they are one of my biggest pet peeves. Before I put anything on, I look for the Irish pennants and I get rid of them immediately.
Again,