The Sunshine Project. Francesca Petrino

in love

      he says

      i have never been a fan

      of black nail polish

      you know

      it is quite funny

      i have never been a fan

      of any of your opinions

      sometimes i wonder what she goes through

      look in her eyes

      how hurt she is

      i try to talk to her

      she doesnt hold onto anyone

      not anymore

      -i cant save her alone

      it is my job

      i am supposed to protect you

      you say

      i love you

      on the phone

      as you hold the gun to your soul

      and ask permission

      from me

      to pull the trigger

      -good friends who make bad decisions

      you don’t notice

      the wounds you open

      of others

      until they are bleeding

      all over you

      -selfish

      she is trying to laugh more

      she is trying to smile brighter

      she is trying to be kind

      it breaks my heart

      i know her too well

      to believe

      that she is really happy

      -her smile is wide

      but her eyes are sad

      you burn your lungs away

      and you talk in horrible ways

      of the people who try to love you

      everyone is drowning in their feelings

      while also

      trying to seem

      like they dont care at all

      -no one knows

      what they

      are doing

      you force your heart to beat

      for all the wrong reasons

      and all the wrong people

      -when your heart sinks to the floor

      every time he speaks

      you dont love him

      i refuse to believe

      that if you wanted to be with me

      you just would

      maybe that desire is not enough

      -how do I wait

      never knowing

      if you will come around

      as I always do for you

      i am the novel

      the one you borrow dozens of times

      you photograph

      the poems

      on my worn

      ripped pages

      you highlight

      your favorite parts

      yet

      you never keep me

      i am always returned

      tattered and worn

      wondering the next time

      you will check me out

      -you love everything

      enough to keep coming back

      but not enough to stay

      get out

      you do not belong

      get out

      i pray to God

      take them away

      -when the voices are all loud

      i do not know

      which one

      is me speaking

      letting my guard down

      is so easy

      i hate myself for it

      every time i fall

      they leave

      yet i still fall

      and end up having to pick myself up

      no one

      ever

      helps

      me

      stand

      -please

      sometimes

      good people

      make bad choices

      and bad people

      make good choices

      it does not

      mean they have changed

      -you wear a mask

      you say

      you are here

      if i need anything at all

      i sob to my pillow

      and my heart becomes so heavy

      and you

      are nowhere to be found

      -your 32nd lie

      was that youd be there for me

      even after youre gone