‘That will do Perse,’ I said quickly. I knew that Demeter wanted to keep Hephaestus on-side for some reason best known to herself. I needn't have worried. Hephaestus laughed so much I thought that he would fall off the divan.
‘Hephy, we have a meeting with you scheduled for later in the week. Has something happened that brings you here now?’ Demeter asked, when he eventually paused for air.
‘Indeed, it has,’ he said, at last dragging his eyes away from Persephone. ‘Rumors abound here, unhealthy rumors. The air needs to be cleared.’
‘What kind of rumors?’ Demeter asked. If she was at all shaken by the news, she didn't show it.
‘Some are saying that you and Zeus have ambitions to take over the mortal world; that you have no interest in the survival of the Olympian gods; and that you are here to take various, but not all, Olympian gods back to the mortal world to help you achieve your ambitions,’ Hephaestus said.
I noted that there was no bitterness nor enmity in his tone. Demeter obviously felt it as well. Even so, we were both stunned that what we were trying to do was such common knowledge, albeit somewhat inaccurate.
‘I don’t usually make comments on rumors,’ Demeter said, sounding like a seasoned politician. ‘However, if there were some truth in these rumors, where would you stand, Hephy?’
‘Squarely behind you two, of course. I have never been at home on the mountain, as you know...’
‘But you are god of artisans and craftsmen, and I have heard nothing but good reports of the way you support them and the disabled,’ Demeter said.
‘Thank you, thank you so much, that is very gratifying...very. But is that what you really need in the mortal world?’ he asked.
‘It most certainly is. The working class and the disabled get a raw deal that must be fixed. It is an absolute priority. We must establish an effective welfare system, which presently is an anathema to Americans. We need to change that thinking. Your experience would be invaluable in doing that,’ Demeter explained.
Hephaestus visibly relaxed, and yet I sensed that there was something else troubling him.
‘All this we could have discussed at our scheduled meeting. Is there something more urgent we should be aware of?’ I asked.
‘Ah, you are very perceptive, as one would expect of the mighty Zeus.’
His toadying attitude was uncharacteristic and immediately put me on guard.
‘May I humbly suggest,’ he continued, ‘that you bring all your meetings forward, including your big general meeting, as soon as possible.’
‘Why?’ Demeter asked.
‘You...you have many enemies here. Far more than you can imagine...’
‘I’m not frightened of anyone or anything on the mountain,’ I interrupted, annoyed at the insinuation.
‘No doubt, no doubt. Nevertheless, you should be frightened because there are some powerful gods who are plotting against all three of you. They do not want any of you to leave the mountain alive. In fact, the rumor is that none of you will live long enough to attend your proposed big meeting. You must leave before then,’ he said, and began nervously massaging a particularly large wart on his nose. He was clearly getting himself very worked-up about something. Yet why should our safety concern him?
‘And who are these gods?’ I asked.
‘Ah! Now that is information to which a price is attached,’ he replied mysteriously.
‘We have already promised to take you to the mortal world with us. What else do you want?’ Demeter asked.
‘I...I shall need a companion,’ he stammered.
‘What sort of companion?’ I asked. ‘A dog, a cat...’
‘A wife,’ he said.
‘We don’t provide wives in the mortal world. You have to find your own,’ Demeter explained.
‘This one you can provide,’ he said.
‘How?’ I asked.
‘I would like the hand of Persephone...’
‘How dare you!’ I yelled and rushed over to him closely followed by KK.
‘For your information, Hephaestus,’ I said, jabbing my finger at his face, ‘My daughter will marry a mortal of her choosing, and in a church before the mortals’ God. She will not – repeat, not – be used as a bargaining chip under any circumstances. Is that clear?’
‘Oh, Papa, that is so sweet!’ Persephone said. She ran over to me, threw her arms around me, and gave me a big kiss.
Turning to Hephaestus, Perse said: ‘You get it now, cousin Hephy? You can’t treat women like chattels anymore in the mortal world, although there are those who still try. But their days are numbered.’
‘All right you two, that will do,’ Demeter said calmly. ‘My previous offer for you, Hephaestus, to accompany us to the mortal world will be withdrawn unless you tell us all you know about these plots,’ Demeter said firmly.
A deep frown furrowed Hephaestus’s wart blemished brow, and he studied his withered leg as if it held the answer to all his problems.
‘Very well, I see that I have no option,’ he said eventually and then sighed deeply. ‘The word is that you, Zeus, and your immediate family must not be allowed to leave the mountain...’
‘They want to keep us here in this godforsaken place?’ Persephone asked.
‘No, my dear young lady, they have no intention of keeping you prisoner, you can be sure of that,’ Hephaestus replied quietly. ‘And they want to make you all suffer for what they see as your collective treason.’
‘And who are these plotters?’ Demeter asked.
‘I suspect, but cannot confirm, that the leader is the goddess of goddesses, Hera...’
‘No surprise at all,’ I said. ‘But she would not be able to carry out these threats on her own, would she?’
‘Of course not, she is the instigator. Her main allies are Ares...’
‘Ares? Now let me think,’ Persephone said, placing the index finger of her right hand on the point of her pretty chin and feigning deep thinking. ‘Isn’t he yet another half-brother of mine in this morally impoverished world? Should I welcome him with open arms? Oh, it is so confusing.’
‘Maybe he is, but, no, you should not welcome him at all,’ Demeter said quickly.
‘Really?’ Hephaestus queried. ‘Why is that? I mean, the rumor is that Ares is, indeed, the son of Zeus and Hera...’
‘You seem to rely too much on rumors, Hephaestus. That could get you into very serious trouble,’ I said coldly.
‘Oh, could it, indeed? Well, what is your version of Ares’s birth?’ he asked, knowing full-well that I would not want to discuss that subject in front of Demeter and Persephone.
‘Yes, come on, Papa, you must know. If you don’t, Hera must...
I ignored Persephone’s question simply because it was too difficult to explain. Suffice it to say that Ares is allegedly my son with Hera, and yet I certainly have never loved him as a son because I have never been convinced that I am his father. It is like that in this immoral, immortal world. You never know who to believe or who you can trust. And DNA testing would prove nothing here.
‘Ares, as the god of chaotic war and terrorism, would certainly be able, and, I imagine, very willing, to carry out the threat