But on July 5 my family and I headed for Duke University Hospital in Durham, North Carolina. I checked into the hospital about noon and spent the afternoon and evening getting more lab work, preparing for the TAVR heart valve replacement surgery. I knew it was a new method, replacing open heart surgery. But Duke had experienced great success with this procedure so I went. Neigel and I both had some doubts but felt we were doing what needed to be done when the aortic valve had narrowed and the cardiologist said, “It must be done.”
I had chatted with my friend Lisa (who already knew the circumstances and had been praying in the previous weeks about the surgery) the night before our trip and asked, "Are you hearing anything from God cautioning me that I'm not to go through with this surgery?" And she answered, "I'm not hearing a thing. I feel at peace that you are going to be alright." I myself, though not at all looking forward to surgery, likewise felt no urgency not to go through with it. If this was what must be done to keep me going at the brisk rhythm of life and ministry that I loved and was accustomed to, and for many more years to come, I was emotionally prepared to do it.
On Wednesday morning, July 6, the surgery was performed. It appeared at first to be a complete success. Surgeons were thrilled—No problems! My husband woke me up and said, “Sweetheart, the surgery is over and the doctors are excited. Everything is great.” I replied, “No, something is wrong. I can’t talk.” The cardiologist standing nearby exclaimed, “But you are talking.” Neigel said, “I think she means she can’t say what she wants to say.” The team of doctors told my husband and daughter to go on to the motel since this was a normal reaction from a patient. Our precious youth pastor, my dear friend Freda, prayed with me on the phone and left for Myrtle Beach because it was so definite that I had a perfect surgery.
BUT something happened in the night. I began calling a male nurse, “Please get me a doctor. I am having a stroke.” He over and over assured me, “No, You are fine. I see your numbers right before me and you are not having a stroke.” The tests were showing nothing going wrong. Finally I made a decision. I thought, “He won’t listen to me. Maybe when the shift changes, the new nurse will believe me.” I fell asleep and the next thing I knew, I was being carried to MRI.
My next memory was hearing a neurologist tell my family, “She has had a stroke.” My husband asked, “How bad is it?” Then he heard what he could not handle, “as bad as it gets.” I could hear my husband who was normally very controlled break into loud weeping and wailing. Then my daughter could not control it and also began to cry loudly with much pain. I quickly realized I had to solve the problem. I began to weep too. My strong daughter left the doctor, counselor, and Neigel and came to my side. My entire right side was paralyzed but I grunted out the words, “I…WILL…BE…WELL.“ Sherri reassured me, “Yes, you will.” I grunted Louder “TELL…DADDY...TELL…HIM, I...WILL…BE...WELL.” Sherri was relieved. A giant-killing faith rose up inside her. She knew I was fighting now.
From that moment on, she had no doubts but that I would recover. I had made that weak declaration (I will be well) to my body, to my family, to my God and also to the devil. Yes, the enemy tried to stop my tongue. But it did not work. I kept weakly saying “Live, live, live” until it became a strong declaration. Sherri and Neigel answered back, “Yes, you will live.” It is so vitally important to declare at the front end of sickness that you will live. From that moment no one was allowed to say a negative word in my room. We did not dwell on the report of the doctors. That was not the report we wanted to hear. We kept centered on the report of 1 Peter 2:24: “By His stripes [I was] healed.”
A few days later the Duke cardiologist commented, “I think she can make it, but it will be a long hard road.” But after the experience of the spiritual warfare all night, hearing the voice of God then the voice of the devil and hearing the voice “I guess we'd better cancel this funeral,” it was obvious what was happening. God said, “I set before you life and death. Choose life.” A gift of healing had been released into my spirit that was as solid as the rock of Gibraltar.
So many times people come to this point and just give up. It seems that their world and life has fallen apart. From the view point of doctors, family and friends, it is all over. The Psalmist got to that place too. But he said, “I will not die, but live and declare the works of God (Ps 118:17).”
Too many people die too soon. Yes, we all want to spend eternity in heaven. But when I found myself at this point in history, I desperately wanted to be His voice in the earth. Many times I had gotten to that place where the cloud was moving. Music was changing. What worked before was not working now. At this time in history, I had cried out to God, “Lord, I don’t know what you are doing. But whatever you are doing, don’t do it without me.” Here I was again—believing we are on the verge of something new and great in America. I so much wanted to be a part of it. For years when I would pass a grave site, I would cry out, “With lonnnnnng life (emphasis mine...smile) will he satisfy me and show me his salvation (Ps. 91:16).” I also read other Scriptures about long life.
I read Psalm 21:4: “He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him, even length of days for ever and ever.”
Proverbs 3:2: “For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.”
Proverbs 3:16: "Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor." (NIV)
Psalm 92:14: "They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green." (NIV)
Job 5:26: You shall come to your grave in a full age.
I chose life! Let’s do it. Let’s dream big dreams. You don’t have to die before you have completed those sealed orders that God sent you into the world to do.
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