‘What about your mother did you not regret leaving her?’
‘She died when I was very young. Helga and I came out here with such dreams, after some time looking around we decided that this was the place we wanted to spend the rest of our lives. It wasn’t always easy, we had borrowed a lot of money but when you are young it doesn’t seem to matter the same. Then one day Helga told me we were to have a child, we were both overjoyed.’
‘What happened?’
‘Well she was nearly seven months pregnant and we decided she should go into Arrowtown and stay there to be near the cottage hospital. Well I had got her bags and put them at the bottom of the stairs ready to take out the next morning. Helga got up during the night and came downstairs, forgot they were there, and fell over them. She went into labour almost immediately but because we are so far from help there was nothing anyone could do. She died in my arms. I remember the next morning and the sun was shining brightly I was so angry how dare the sun come out and everything look normal didn’t it know that Helga was dead. I felt the whole world should go into mourning. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that life does go on.’ He stopped speaking and thought what am I doing talking like this to this girl who I don’t even know. I have never talked about this to anyone else before. ‘Look I’m sorry, here I am going on about my problems and it is you I should be trying to help, please forgive me.’
‘There is nothing to forgive in fact it has helped me. I thought I must abnormal because when I heard that John had died I felt so angry even at him. I had come so far and now here I was not knowing anybody and alone in a strange land.’
‘Will you go back to England?’
‘No never,’ she said emphatically.
‘Why not? You certainly sound very definite about that.’
‘I remember the morning I left, I was standing on the dock saying good-bye to my family I knew I was nervous but I thought that will pass when we get underway. But when I stood on the deck waving I felt so bad as the wharf started to recede but that was nothing to the absolute terror I felt next morning when I went onto the deck and there was no land to be seen. I had the overwhelming desire to jump into the sea and end this nightmare. Those weeks on the ship were the worst episode of my life and so I will never go back no matter what happens to me here. To this day I have nightmares about this.’
‘That is understandable many people feel like that regarding the sea but what are your plans now?’
‘The doctor and his wife have been so good to me taking me in and letting me share their home. But I felt I had to start taking charge of my life once again. So I thought I would go to one of the bigger towns such as Dunedin where I have heard there a number of large houses. I thought that maybe I would get a position as a Governess there and then I would send for my belongings but I got lost and you know the rest.’
‘Is that what you want to do, be a Governess?’ A plan was beginning to form in Helmut’s mind.
‘Not necessarily, what I would really love is to be a teacher you see that is the only thing I have any training for but there is no vacancy here in Arrowtown at present. The other thing I love doing is to paint pictures. The landscape here is so beautiful.’
The plan was taking a positive direction. ‘Why not come back with me. There are a number of children there who I am sure are growing up without the benefit of an education. We are too far from any schools. The mothers do their best but they have enough to do as it is. There is also a neighbouring property where there must be children too. I know for a certainty the parents would be more than willing to build a classroom. And you can paint to your hearts content.’
‘Where would I live?’
‘With me.’
‘Wouldn’t that cause talk? I know we are miles from civilization but still people would not accept their children’s teacher living in the same house as a single man. After all people do have certain proprieties even in this part of the world.’
Helmut smiled to himself as he thought of certain ladies in the town and what their reaction would be if they could hear this conversation and so he answered.
‘They would if you were my wife.’
‘Your wife?’ She looked at him thinking he must be jesting but one glance told her he was serious.
‘Yes my wife, it need be in name only. I have a large two storied house. You could have the entire top story for yourself choose whichever bedroom you like. You can even set up a studio in one room if you wish. As far as anyone is concerned we would be married.’
‘But why would you want to do this for me, what’s in it for you, as you say it would be in name only.’ She looked questionably at him as if she didn’t quite believe it.
‘You have no need to be concerned on that score I promise you I will not go back on my word. I just feel it would be so nice to have a woman in the house again I miss all the feminine touches. It’s all right during the day there are so many things to occupy me, but the evenings are so terribly lonely. It would be so nice to come home at the end of the day and have someone there to spend the evenings with. Just to talk or sit quietly and read. I didn’t realize until now how much I missed that company, that’s all I ask. The days will be yours to do as you please. You would not have to cook or clean house that is all taken care of.’ Where was Too Gum he wondered, both he and the dogs seem to have disappeared. He looked about him but turned back abruptly at the sound of her laughter.
‘What are you laughing at?’
‘Well here we are we have sat and poured out our souls to each other, you have asked me to marry you and I don’t even know your name.’
He extended his hand in mock solemnity, ‘Helmut Kruger, Miss, pleased to make your acquaintance.’
She looked at this kindly man and wondered can I entrust the rest of my life to him. But what is the alternative, to always live in someone else’s house never my own and be nothing more than a paid employee. Here he is offering me independence and self esteem plus a chance to pursue my interests. But what of love, is that not important. She quickly pushed that thought to the back of her mind she would never feel love for a man again after John.
‘Pleased to make your acquaintance Mr Kruger, I would be honored to accept your offer of ‘marriage’.’
At that instance he wanted to shout and laugh and tell the whole world but no he knew one wrong move now and he would lose her. He could tell she was still a little hesitant and indecisive.
‘May I call you Katherine, or do you prefer Kate or Katie.’
‘I have always been called Katherine.’ Only John had called her his Kate and that was a part of him that she could never share.
‘Well then Katherine we have a bargain and for my part I am delighted. I don’t want to put any pressure on you but I really have to get back to the farm so I suggest that we go back into town now and get married immediately. We can collect your things from the Doctor’s house and take everything back in one trip. Is that all right with you or would you rather stay in town until I return in the spring?’
She briefly hesitated and then said, No I really don’t want to presume on any one any more I would prefer to go back with you now.’
‘Good, then I will apply for a marriage license immediately we get there and while we wait for that we can collect your things and I would suggest you make a list of anything that you think that you will require. It gets very cold in the winter so make sure you have ample warm clothes. I will go to the bank and open an account for you and please feel free to get whatever you need.’
‘Thank you, I do have a little money of my own I am sure it will be enough for my needs.’
‘I will still open an account. If you don’t want