All the aggravation of the day melted when I met John at Henry’s. I unwound with a couple of shots and beer. John seemed content to nurse one beer. He had a lot to tell me. Work was going well for him. He worked mostly days now, and I thought that meant his nights were spent with Birdface. He admitted he was not able to see Birdie everyday because he was going to night school.
“You mean you’re going to college?” I said, almost choking on my shot.
“That’s right. The G.I. bill pays for almost all of it. You should consider it, Mac.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you want to better yourself?”
“Hey, John, look at me. You can’t improve perfection.”
“I’m serious, Mac. You should use your veteran benefits to get a degree.”
“It’s a waste of time. Why are you wasting you’re time going to college?”
“It’s not a waste. I can go far in my job with a college degree.”
“What? The last time I saw you at work you were sweeping the floor. What’s a step up? Shoveling chicken gizzards?”
“You don’t understand. I can be making good money in a couple of years. I’ll need it when I’m married.”
“Oh, now I understand. Birdhead put you up to this.”
“Her name is Birdie!”
“I don’t care if it’s Birdbath. That bitch is running your life and you’re letting her get away with it.”
“You better watch what you say, Mac.”
“It’s true. You marry her and you can kiss your life good-bye. That bitch.”
“Stop calling her a bitch!”
“Bitch, bitch, bitch.”
“You’re asking for it, Peck!”
“Ooh, is that a threat, Mr. Vegetable Man?”
“I’m leaving,” John said.
I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. “You’re not going anywhere! I’m not through with you yet.”
John spun around and pushed me against the bar. “You’re drunk, Mac. Now leave it alone.”
He started to walk out again and I pushed him from behind. “I’m right and you know it. That broad has you wrapped around her little finger. I bet she even makes you wear a rubber.”
I never before saw so much anger in John’s eyes. He came at me so fast I didn’t have time for evasive action. He hit me square on the jaw and I stumbled back against the jukebox. Before I could strike back, Big Ed had a hold of my arms and was herding me toward the door. I put up a fight, but Big Ed held me against the wall, his huge hand squeezing my face.
“I want you out of here, Mac,” Big Ed growled. “Go home and sober up. We don’t need troublemakers here.”
He let me go. Everybody was looking at me as I smoothed my shirt. They wanted to see what I was going to do next. I didn’t like to fight, but I was never one to back down from one, no matter what the odds. You would think after what happened in Nam I would’ve learned my lesson. But no. Here I was again, unable to eat humble pie.
“You can’t kick me out you big jerk. You don’t own this bar.”
Big Ed grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward the door. “When you learn to behave like a human being you can come back. Until then, keep your sorry ass out of here.”
I broke free from his grip and turned around quickly, my fist clenched and heading for Big Ed’s bearded face. Big Ed caught my hand in his, like a catcher’s mit stops a ping pong ball.
The next thing I knew I was spread eagle on the sidewalk.
I was at the gas station seven thirty the next morning. I wasn’t hung over, but I sure was tired. I was used to getting more sleep. My jaw hurt and my nose had a scrape on it.
I started thinking about what had happened at Henry’s the night before. I felt bad. Not because I had been beaten up, but because I had screwed up. I had known John most of my life, and I couldn’t remember a time when we’ve fought. Little disagreements sometimes, but never an out and out fist fight. I’m sure he told Birdie all about it and now she doesn’t want John to have anything to do with me, I bet. And naturally I would have to do my shopping someplace else.
Saturdays were busy at the station. Danny and Charlie spent most of the morning in the service bays, and I hardly had the chance to sit down. It was almost noon when I recognized Dr. Kerr’s old Ford at the pumps. There were a lot of regular customers who I couldn’t stand, and Dr. Kerr was one of them. Every time I finished putting gas in his tank, he always got out of the car to make sure I had put the gas cap back on tight. Things like that drove me crazy!
This time, as I was putting gas in his tank, I went to the front of the car to check the oil. The hood release was under the bumper. I raised the hood, and instead of Dr. Kerr yellng out the window to tell me he didn’t want the oil checked, he blew the horn. It scared me so bad I hit my head on the underside of the hood.
I stood up straight, grabbed the topside of the hood and slammed it down hard, leaving my oily fingerprints on the white paint. I slowly walked around to his open window. Dr. Kerr was a little old man, and his little old wife was next to him. The two of them cowered toward the passenger side. I put my hands on the door and crouched so my head was almost inside the window. I yelled with a voice that came from the very depths of my diaphram.
“You want me to shove that horn up your ass?”
The Kerrs were speechless. Their mouthes hung open like dead fish. Mrs. Kerr’s face turned pure white, and Dr. Kerr’s wire frame glasses sat crookedly on his nose. Charlie came running out when he heard me yelling.
“What’s going on?” Charlie said, almost screaming.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on! This jerk blew his horn right in my ear!” I said, pointing at the terrified couple.
Charlie bent over and spoke quietly to the Kerrs. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the last thing he said as he straightened up was, “I’m sorry, Reverend, it won’t happen again.”
Charlie glared at me.
“Reverend?” I said. “I thought he was a doctor. That’s what it says on his credit card.”
Charlie’s voice exploded. “Doctor of Divinity, you…you—you’re through! Get out! I never want to see you around here again. You’re finished, you understand? OUT!”
“You mean I’m fired?”
“I’m tired of customers complaining about you, Peck. I put up with your piss poor attitude long enough. Now scram! I’ll mail you your last pay check.”
I saw Danny’s face in the window as I turned to leave. He didn’t look very sympathetic.
The walk home was slow. I knew my dad would want an explanation as to why I was no longer employed, just as he wanted an explanation when I was discharged from the Army. When I was about a block from home I sat on a stone wall to think. I had a lot to think about. I thought about Bill and John, and how they were shaping their futures. They were going to make something of themselves, and had girlfriends to stand by them as they did. Maybe that’s what I needed—a girlfriend. I needed someone to stand by me, to understand me, to like me for what I was. I had a miserable past, mostly my fault, and I couldn’t change that. What’s done is done.
As I sat there I spotted a squirrel rooting around for food in the yard behind me. I reached into my pocket, but all I had was a bag of crumbs that used to be Cheese Doodles before I ended up on the sidewalk outside of Henry’s. I poured the crumbs in my hand and held it out for the squirrel. He hesitated, he twitched, but finally