HOPE BEYOND TRAUMA. Cynthia Smith

they had suffered. Teachers and students were very attentive during our presentations and were moved by the stories. Tanya’s story held a lot of interest, as her accident was the most recent and many remembered reading or hearing about it in the news.

      This experience proved to be a highlight for both Tanya and me. Tanya felt that she now had a mission and a special place where she could be accepted for who she had become. At the end of the survivors’ presentations, I would give a simple explanation of how the brain worked and how it can easily be injured through an accident or other circumstances. As a former teacher and youth leader, I especially enjoyed these opportunities to teach and meet with the students and educators.

      We all felt that our sharing was important and meaningful. Our hope was that it would inspire students to be aware and careful with their driving and to avoid circumstances that could most likely cause brain injuries. It was amazing how many lives Tanya’s story touched. All the survivors’ stories left an impact and made them feel as if they contributed in helping make someone else’s life better.

      Although it seemed that Tanya’s social skills were progressing, it had also become very apparent that she would no longer fit in the normal high school setting and would be assigned a homebound teacher.

      One morning, a morning I have come to cherish, I opened the door to welcome Colleen Kinsella. Here she was, a petite woman with short red hair, confident, thirty-something, unassuming, with a ready smile and nurturing disposition. She easily connected with Tanya and made everyone comfortable around her. From that day on, I looked forward to her visits, not only for the respite she gave me, but also to hear her perspectives and wisdom. I felt I had a comrade in arms walking beside me.

      Tanya loved working with Colleen, even though she couldn’t remember her lessons from one day to the next. For her, it was exciting to have Colleen around the house. Colleen had not worked with a student with Tanya’s specific challenges, so we spent a lot of time together. I shared with her what I had learned at the rehabilitation hospital about working with children who had suffered a brain injury. Her job was extremely challenging, as Tanya’s short-term memory issues were very severe. Colleen never wavered; she was patient and committed. She first listened to my instructions, then began researching brain injuries on her own.

      After the accident, I had resigned my position at Dunkin Donuts, which put an extra strain on the financial budget. Since I could not leave Tanya alone and needed to earn extra money, we decided to get a newspaper route. Even though it meant getting up at 4:00 a.m., for the most part it was a resounding success. It was something we all could do together! Tanya and I threw the newspapers during the week. The whole family, including Richard, threw the huge Sunday newspapers on weekends. We had quite an operation going! Everyone loved the job except Tim, who just never got into it. Getting up that early was not on his agenda, and throwing newspapers was not his cup of tea.

      Our newspaper route expeditions were filled with hilarious episodes. Once we threw a newspaper and accidentally hit a cat, who jumped high in the air with a very loud and startled YEOW and scared us to death! Another time we inadvertently hit a car with the newspaper and set off its alarm. Whoops! We quickly drove away. We all had a good laugh afterward and wondered about our customers’ reactions.

      We were together again, and all the excitement that surrounded our newspaper routes made Tanya feel productive again. For me, that made it a super success!

      As a member of my family … I learned to

       Grieve with my family and share our pain and concerns.

       Realize and accept that everyone is affected and is going through extreme change.

       Accept that each person has a different reaction to change and has a different speed for accepting change.

       Take time for other family members, including pets, and maintain healthy habits as much as possible.