Praise for Me and My Mentor
‘Everyone can read or listen to wise people passing down truisms; the difficulty is that none are directly relevant and often frustratingly obscure. Mentors breathe life into how to go forward explaining the relevance to the particular situation and to the individual traits of the mentee. At their very best mentors inspire with words that resonate for years to come. This book is an excellent guide for both mentors and mentees. Norah has assembled the very best of the best and set questions from their experiences for all of us to ponder. In doing so, she has opened the door on these relationships and called us in.’
— Nerida Wallace, CEO, Law Institute of Victoria
‘Among the plethora of books on mentoring, Norah Breekveldt’s Me and My Mentor stands out because of the diversity in the mentoring relationships described through the stories of each mentor and mentee. In my view, there is no one ‘right way’, no set formula, to mentor or be mentored—and the stories generously shared in this book illustrate
this beautifully.’
— Dr. Niki Vincent, South Australian Commissioner for Equal Opportunity
‘Insightful and entertaining, this book provides guidance on how to engage in a successful mentoring relationship. Great leaders develop and nurture other people. The stories in this book will inspire you to go ahead and enter into a mentoring relationship.’
— Mary-Jane Ierodiaconou, Honourable Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of Victoria
Published by Melbourne Books
Level 9, 100 Collins Street,
Melbourne, VIC 3000
Australia
Copyright © Norah Breekveldt (to the collection) 2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the publishers.
Title: Me and My Mentor: How mentoring supercharged the careers of 11 extraordinary women
Author: Norah Breekveldt with Emma Russell
eISBN: 9781925556285
Digital distribution by Ebook Alchemy
eBook Created by Warren Broom
‘I’ve taken great care to construct my own safety net…my husband, my father, my mother, friends, chaplains and mentors I trust to work through anything that gets under my skin.’
— Christine Nixon, former Victoria Police Chief Commissioner
Dr. Niki Vincent
South Australian Commissioner for Equal Opportunity
Preface
While the intensity of interest, research and books about mentoring is a relatively recent phenomenon (that continues to grow in momentum) mentoring relationships appear to have been an integral part of many cultures for thousands of years1. This, in itself, is testament to their value and impact.
Among the plethora of books on mentoring, Norah Breekveldt’s Me and My Mentor stands out because of the diversity in the mentoring relationships described through the stories of each mentor and mentee. In my view, there is no one ‘right way’, no set formula, to mentor or be mentored—and the stories generously shared in this book illustrate this beautifully.
Throughout my career, I’ve had (and still have) many formal and informal mentors. I’ve also formally and informally mentored many people. Like those described within the pages ahead, each of my mentoring relationships has been different—organically tailored to the personalities, skills, experience, expertise, goals and available time of the people involved. Some relationships have been very long, and some have been short-term, with a very specific purpose or goal to orient them. There is not a story in this book that didn’t resonate with my experience in many ways—and that I didn’t learn something very useful from.
My own mentors have included some of my former bosses, board members, an academic supervisor and colleagues—almost all of whom, interestingly, have been men. There is no doubt that each of these relationships have made a great difference in my life. My mentors have supported my confidence and courage at times when these were wavering, they have provided sounding boards for difficult decisions, advice about unfamiliar situations encountered in roles in new sectors, and confirmation, constructive criticism and alternative perspectives when I’ve needed these. Each of my mentors has also told me how much they’ve grown and learned from our relationship. Mentoring should be a mutually beneficial experience.
I’ve had many mentees in the past—both women and men. I currently mentor several young women, including a fifteen-year-old Liberian immigrant from an underprivileged background, and I’m an informal mentor for many of the members of my current team. In alignment with several of the titles of the chapters in this book, I feel I’ve helped mentees to push boundaries, find their voice and nurture their passions—and I hope that each one of them has felt that I’ve ‘had their back’. The reciprocity from these relationships has been amazing. I’ve learned so much from every one of my mentees, and felt privileged to be able to contribute to their development.
In her introduction to this book, Norah Breekveldt has noted that although the insights from the stories in this book are applicable to all adults, women have a special need to be mentored because of the inequities that remain in the workforce.
We know that whilst important progress has been made on this front, there is sadly still a very long way to go. We have a stark underrepresentation of women in our state and federal parliaments, eight ASX200 company boards still do not have any women members and only eleven have a woman chief executive. The latest statistics show that the gender pay gap is still massive—and this translates into similarly massive average earnings and superannuation deficits over a lifetime. These deficits are even higher for those with university degrees (with average graduate starting salaries for women being five percent less than their male peers in the same industry).
At the heart of the gender pay gap is the definition of merit—and the fact that the work women do is not as valued as the work that men do (even if it’s the same work!). I really appreciated Our Watch’s recent short video2 which shows how beliefs and behaviours that reflect disrespect for girls and women and reinforce stereotypical gender roles, relations and identities are part of most children’s lives from the get-go—and they impact both females and males. These stereotypes not only impact how the work that women do is valued, they also mean that although we’ve seen a massive shift of women into paid work, we’ve seen no real shift in the opposite direction. This, as Annabel Crabb has pointed out3, means that women frequently combine their careers with a second shift when they get home. As Crabb noted ‘We won’t fix the work problem until we fix the home problem.’ While successful women are frequently asked about how they juggle work and family, we need to start asking this of men too. It makes no sense to me that a lack of childcare is a drain on women’s careers and yet there is no evidence that it’s holding back men’s careers in any way. The sad fact is that if it was, it would likely