However, to varying degrees we also are the victims of the yetzer ha-ra, which is a very potent negative and destructive force. This force has been called “the devil in us”. The Hebrew word for it is lehastin, which can be translated as to beguile, to tempt, or to mislead or lead astray – it is an active word which is used as a verb. The word “Satan” is derived from this root, (STN). But however we choose to brand this force, it too plays on our “feelgoods” – in a different way: it attacks our mind and tries to lure us to imagine all sorts of material gain and instant gratification of our natural desires. We are susceptible to it, especially when we are vulnerable; it tempts us, takes advantage of us and plays on our minds and emotions by evoking images and stirring our imaginations.
However, we have the power to stifle these thoughts and quench these images; this power is called “freedom of choice”. We are free to consciously substitute those thoughts and images with others, out of our memory banks. Needless to say, the earlier we choose to activate these counter-measures, the easier the job; and the more we delay to counteract our yetzer ha-ra, the more difficult will the task become and the longer it will take for us to succeed. The more we allow ourselves to become influenced by the yetzer ha-ra, the more will this evil force be enabled to take hold of us and assume control over us. The very first such instance is the story of Adam and Eve, in which we are told that Eve “saw that the fruit was a delight to perceive”.
One rather simple way of testing ourselves is to ask ourselves honestly: will this “proposition” of our yetzer ha-ra stand up to public scrutiny? Or, in other words: could we honestly do such a deed openly, with pride and dignity? If the answer is “yes”, think it through rationally; if the answer is “no”, forget about it.
From a Jewish point of view, it is much easier to cross-check such “propositions”, because we do it against an absolute system of rights and wrongs.
Interestingly, the Jewish daily prayer book contains strong statements about protecting us from this evil influence, both in the Morning Prayer: (“Rescue me today and every day … from the destructive Satan”) and in the Evening Prayer: (“Remove Satan from before us and behind us”).
The good inclination and the evil one are the two most basic forces in human nature. Every human being must get to know these two forces during their lifetimes and, even more importantly, take control over them. We must learn to perceive and understand how the yetzer ha-ra tries to act upon our minds and develop the ability to overpower this negative, destructive force. At the same time we must also be able to understand our individual yetzer ha-tov and feel not only comfortable, but also in companionship with it.
Goodness leads to serenity and satisfaction with life, because it brings us in touch with the essence of living. Evil, on the other hand, leads to dissatisfaction because it becomes insatiable. When allowed to operate uncontrolled, it leads to emptiness, loneliness and ultimate destruction.
This is the journey of ageing, as we live our lives.
The lucky ones find this out early in life. How sad it is, however, for a person to simply become older in age (i.e. to realise that life has become almost entirely spent) without experiencing personal growth. What a profoundly shocking experience it is to feel hard done by and cheated, when reflecting back on the memories of their past experiences.
There is nothing wrong with the material, the physical and the many pleasures and enjoyments which life has to offer. But – everything in its time and in relative proportion to everything and everyone else. Never “me” at the expense of “you”; it’s “me” together with “us”.
This, to me, is the secret of life.
The Midrash (homilies of our Sages on the Scriptures) brings a very interesting illustration of the material way of life, compared with the spiritual way of life.
Our patriarch Isaac fathered twin sons: Esau and Jacob. Esau was the earthy, material brother, while Jacob was the more esoteric, spiritual one. Later in life, Jacob was renamed Israel (literally: “He who strives with G-d”) – a name which reflects this characteristic.
Much later on in history, the Romans destroyed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and expelled most of the Jews from the Land of Israel. Some were brought to Rome and began living in Italy.
Italy is one of the most beautiful countries in the world: the landscapes, the seascapes, the art, the architecture, the food and the wine all are exceptionally beautiful. Its people are friendly and courteous and its music happy and often dramatic. Yet all of this is merely superficial beauty and majesty, lacking in spirituality. Italy has been likened to Esau.
Our mystics say that one must first descend to the lowest depths before being able to rise to new heights. So, too, the Jewish people were exiled to Rome and had to remain in exile for nearly two thousand years before being able to return to their homeland in Israel.
The physical world on its own is devoid of meaning. Its beauty is apparent one day, but may wane and disappear with time. The spiritual world, however, is timeless and ageless. Life that is devoid of spirituality is lifeless. Its physical attraction is like a fleeting ray of sun that, after it goes away, leaves us with nothing at all.
This image reflects the passing of life. What happens when we age? The material comes and goes, leaving memories of the past and expectations for the future, whereas the spiritual remains with us, in the present, bridging our past into our future.
Most people go through life seeking their parents’ approval. Some people never experienced any lack of parental approval. How lucky for them! (Or is it? In some cases this may be detrimental to their psychological development.) Older generation parents were often unable to express open approval and love for the children and ended up communicating mostly instructions, discipline and corrections. On the other hand, many modern-day parents are instructed to voice love and approval of their children, but neglect their parenting responsibilities, which include setting and maintaining consistent and fair standards along with clear limits and boundaries.
I’m trying here to explain how many people’s mindsets affect their behaviour throughout life. You see, ageing is such an interesting phenomenon that affects every single human being on a daily basis, both in how people internalise it and how they externalise it. Biologically speaking, our bodies age: with time, our organs deteriorate and our bodily functions wear down. Our inner self, however, as it is stored in our experiential memory, does not really age. We may forget things, but memory has an amazing capacity to retrieve images and relive experiences. Thus, even though the physical cells deteriorate, die off and regenerate, the “persona” lives on as long as life itself persists. Our soul is ageless. It is not subject to the metamorphoses of time; it lives within its own unique framework of existence. Thus, even when the body is very old and decrepit and “can’t anymore”, the soul “can” and is as fresh and young as ever.
That is why even though time marches on, we feel inside much the same as we have always felt.
As life goes on, there seem to be fewer people to look up to, people who are older than us, and more and more people who are younger than us and whom we do not know and have not interacted with. As life goes on, most of us encounter new people whom we never encountered before. New experiences, new ideas, new challenges – and still, we don’t really feel very different inside ourselves. Both consciously and subconsciously, we keep seeking approval for what