“Do we what?” asked Mum on her return, dirty cloth and plate under her arm.
“Let Grandfather behave like a tyrant,” Jessica responded. “Always, you all do it.”
“I don’t think so,” said Mum, filling the sink with water from the kettle. She watched the suds form shiny bubbles.
Jessica seethed. “It’s not fair!”
“Jessica, pull yourself together. You’re old enough to understand and if you really want to be a pilot, then you’re going to have to learn to deal with Grandfather.”
“What do you mean, if I really want to become a pilot? Don’t you believe me?”
“Oh, yes, I do,” Mum sighed. “I do believe you. It’s only a wonder it’s taken until you’re nine to hear this ambition. I’ve been waiting for it for years.”
“Oh,” said Jessica, surprised. “But …” She wasn’t sure what she should be asking. Did her mother approve? Would she help? These thoughts flew through her brain, blending into a mishmash that left her stuttering.
“Look, Jessica,” said her grandmother, “you’ve been going to see aeroplanes since you were a baby. Your father developed a passion for them in the war, and but for being injured, probably would have gone for a pilot’s licence himself. Your grandfather wouldn’t have been pleased, but he couldn’t have stopped him. One of Angus’s children was sure to follow his passion and we’ve always known it was you. Billy’s far more interested in the farm, which is lucky really as it will be his one day. And Elspeth’s too young to know what she’ll be interested in. So it would have been a surprise if you hadn’t wanted to learn to fly.” She finished, drying off the first of the glasses from the rack.
“You think it’s all Dad’s fault?”
“Not fault, dear,” said Gran, over the noise of the tap as she rinsed plates. “You’re enough like him to pick it up all by yourself.”
“Oh.” Jessica was not sure whether the family supported her dreams or not. “But, I want to earn my living as a pilot,” said Jessica, “not just learn to fly.”
“Maybe,” said Mum, “maybe, it would be better if you left that desire float for awhile.”
“Why should I? Do you think I’ll forget all about it?”
“No I don’t, but being quiet about it would save trouble, that’s all.” Mum’s voice was flat and determined. Jessica looked from her mother to her grandmother and shut her mouth on what she had intended to say. Instead she said, “But that’s not fair! You’re always telling us to be honest. I don’t understand.”
Mum sighed. “Look, Jess, your grandfather has very determined views, as you well know. If you confront him, he just gets more determined. And he makes his views clear for ever. Remember when Billy said that he’d like a new Ford truck when he was about three? And Grandfather lectured him almost continually for a month. Every time he saw him, Grandfather would mention the truck and say what a stupid idea it was. But after awhile, he forgot and in another year, he decided for himself that the property needed a new truck and the Ford looked good. So he bought one.”
“Are you saying that he’ll think my learning to fly is a good idea if I keep quiet about it?”
“Not exactly. Just that you won’t have to put up with him going on and on about it if you don’t mention it again.”
“Besides,” said Grandma, “you’re only nine and lots could happen before you’re old enough for a pilot’s licence.”
“Do you think I’ll change my mind?”
“No, but not making an issue of it will save you a lot of trouble.”
“So, how do I learn then? Nothing will happen if I just wait.” She grabbed a couple of plates without looking and knocked a saucer off the table onto the floor. It broke and the two parts slid away across the wood.
“Ooh, for goodness sake,” her mother snapped. “Just watch what you’re doing. This is the best china, you know. I can’t afford for you to smash it all up.”
“It’s not fair! I just want to be a pilot, that’s all. You’d think it was something difficult, the way you carry on.” She ran out of the room, up the stairs and shut herself in her bedroom. Her announcement had not gone the way she thought it would. She really thought her family would be pleased. And even Dad had not stood up for her. She flung herself across her bedspread, ignoring the house rule of taking her shoes off first and burst into tears.
She never cried for long and soon sat up and wiped her arm over her eyes. She saw no point in being secretive, even if she understood what they said about Grandfather. He nagged something awful whenever he had an opinion. He just wore people down until they did what he wanted. He wasn’t going to have that effect on her. Regardless of what anyone said. She might have been persuaded not to shout her ambition to the skies, but maybe, if she kept quiet, not even Grandfather could tell her what to think. Or dream.
She was going to become a pilot, whatever any of them said. Now all she had to do was work out how to do it.
Chapter Five
Jessica dragged her feet as she came down to tea that evening. She had thought of staying in her room — she wasn’t at all hungry — but she knew someone would come looking for her and she’d be in even more trouble. She was used to being in trouble — as her grandfather said, saving the rod spoiled the child. Not that her parents often hit her — her father wasn’t a great fan of Grandfather’s theory of child rearing — but they believed in discipline. Her mother had been known to swipe her legs with a wooden spoon and Dad had given Billy a few strokes with his leather razor strop but usually they tried other ways, such as more chores or taking away treats. She wondered what she would get for her lunchtime performance.
She went downstairs as slowly as she could, wincing as she walked past the dining room, the scene of the disaster. On Sunday evening they ate in the kitchen, just Mum, Dad and the three children. It was a light meal, after the baked lunch, usually soup and cake for afters. Tonight she slumped into her chair, banging it against the table, face mulish, waiting for someone to say something.
Nobody did. Billy pulled his usual face, tongue out, eyes crossed, kicking the table leg as he picked up his soup spoon and, also as usual, Mum told him to stop it. She was feeding Elspeth mashed something or other and hadn’t even looked at Jessica. Jessica picked up her soup spoon and paddled around the soup for a while. Eventually she tasted it. Vegetable and barley, usually delicious but tonight it was cardboard.
After an age, Dad spoke. “All right, Jess, about lunchtime …”
Jess nearly dropped her spoon as she wailed, “I bet you’re going to give me a lecture too. No one wants me to become a pilot.”
“Oh, do stop talking rubbish. It’s a serious subject and we need to discuss it seriously. If you’re old enough to decide you want to fly, then you’re old enough to look at the subject sensibly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, let’s look at what it would take. For a start, you can’t get a licence for several years. So, what could you do before you can start flying lessons? Is there anything that would help you?”
“How many years?”
“At least six.”
“Oh, that’s not fair. That’s virtually forever. I might as well give up the whole idea.”
“That’s even sillier. You don’t give up if something is hard or takes time, do you?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Jessica thought for awhile. “I hadn’t thought it would be that long.”
“So, you’re thinking of giving up before you’ve even started, then?”