Christine Davies
Authorised Civil Celebrant
Member ACMCV and ACCN
Love doesn’t end with dying,
Or leave with the last breath.
For someone you have loved dearly,
Love goes on forever.
— Anon
Contents
Preface
About the author
Part 1 About the Funeral Service
1: What you should know about funerals
What are the celebrant’s responsibilities?
Types of ceremonies and services
Other elements of funeral services
Conducting a special and professional service
Challenging situations for celebrants
Part 2 Preparing the Service
2: The interview: creating a portrait
The celebrant’s role
Making initial contact
Meeting the bereaved
How much time should you allow?
What questions should you ask?
Discussing the service
The final magic question
Interview checklist
Offering service suggestions
3: The opening: setting the tone
Introducing yourself
An opening reading
The introduction
Thoughts on life and death
4: Readings, eulogies and tributes: the heart of the service
Eulogies
Tributes and readings
Religious readings and prayers
Summing up afterwards
5: The committal
Readings prior to committal
The committal process
Closing words
Benediction
Part 3 Sample Services
6: An elderly lady
Starting the service
An opening reading
Introduction
Words to soften grief
A grandchild’s tribute
Eulogy
Readings and tributes
Committal
Closing music
Benediction
7: An elderly gentleman
Starting ther service
An opening reading
Introduction
Words to soften grief
Words for the living
The children’s tribute
Eulogy
Readings and tributes
Committal
Closing music
Final reading
Benediction
8: Tragic deaths
Service for a young man
Service for a teenager
Service for a suicide
Service for a victim of murder
Service for a lonely death
Reading for a drug-related death
9: Infant deaths
Service for an infant
Service for a stillborn baby
10: Servicemen and women, and Rotarians
RSL service
Tribute for a serviceman or woman
Service for a Legatee
Service for a Rotarian
11: Special services
Christmas memorial service
Tree-planting memorial
Service for the internment of ashes
Part 4 Some Inspiration
12: Inspirational words and phrases
Phrases for people and personalities
Expressions of loss and comfort
Quotations on life and death
A final word
Acknowledgments
Recommended reading
Preface
It is now widely accepted that the need for religious ceremonies at both weddings and funerals is a thing of the past. Today the number of weddings conducted by a qualified civil celebrant have reached a staggering high in Australia. Likewise, the demand for funeral services prepared by a funeral celebrant, in collaboration with family members and friends of the deceased, is ever increasing.
There is a deep human need to encompass and surround important events in life with rituals, symbolism and expressions of beliefs. Both religious and non-religious people have the same right to, and need for, meaningful cultural rituals and celebration. However, with an increasing number of people not practising religious ceremonies on a regular basis, there is a need for funerals that are not bound by the doctrines of any specific religious creed. The need has arisen for funeral celebrants to step into the void, and to develop and present services in harmony with the deceased’s own beliefs.
Life-centred funerals
Today’s need is for an individually prepared ceremony with appropriate wording based on the life of the person who has died, with emphasis on celebrating the life rather than focusing on death. A life-centred or personal funeral is one that primarily recognises and pays tribute to the departed, and records and remembers the life that has been lived. It allows mourners to let go of their emotions, to experience them and to face the reality of death.
Most mourners do not come to a funeral to hear a sermon about sin or to philosophise about death. They come to grieve, to share with others, and to reflect on the life of their lost one and what is meaningful in life. They come to be comforted and uplifted in their time of need.
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