After the boys returned to the pool, Julie turned to Mark and looked at the circular scar on his forehead. She tried not to think how close he must have come to dying. It did strange things in the pit her stomach. 'Is that why you've grown your hair long?' She'd noted the way it curled onto his collar and just over the scar.
Mark shrugged, brushed at his hair so it covered his forehead again, and stared out at the pool. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told him.'
'I'm not worried about you telling Andy. He's not a young child, Mark. But it must have been horrific for you. How did it happen?'
'Someone tried to kill me. Luckily the gun he used was a small calibre and the bullet ricocheted around in my sinus cavities and didn't penetrate the brain.'
Julie longed to touch him, but she could tell he had retreated from her emotionally, and she was afraid he would reject her sympathy. 'Why would someone want to kill you, Mark?'
Something flickered in his eyes, something hurt and very lonely. But his answer surprised her.
'I made an error of judgment. In my job that can be a costly mistake.'
'What is your job?'
Mark switched his gaze back to Julie. He was tired of deception, tired of the lies that his job entailed. Lately he had wondered if he were no longer capable of coping with some of the less savoury aspects of the world he'd chosen to live in. He wanted to be honest with Julie, to regain some of their closeness that had once seemed so essential to him. 'I work for the government.'
'Federal Police? ASIO?'
'No.' He hesitated. The job he did required a secrecy that only immediate family were allowed to have a glimpse of, and then only after they'd been thoroughly investigated and sanctioned. Julie didn't fit these criteria, but the deep, aching need inside him pushed protocol aside, and he muttered, 'Something… a little more covert.'
Silence stretched out between them. Mark watched the emotions that showed so expressively in Julie's eyes. Watched and waited, the thumping of his heart telling him that her acceptance of him had suddenly become very, very important.
CHAPTER FIVE
'Talbert isn't up to it. The psychologist agreed.'
John Corey looked at the expression on his superior's face. If masters looked like their pets, then Ian McSwain must own a bulldog, he thought. 'This isn't really operational duty,' he protested. 'All we need Mark to do is get close enough to Ray Galloway to see what he can find out. It would take us too long to get someone inside GalCorp, and Mark's father and Galloway were friends for years. He has a personal connection.'
'He could ruin the investigation for us. The psychologist felt there was something deeper troubling him than just getting shot. And his father being killed could exacerbate his problems.'
John didn't give voice to his thoughts. Telling your superior you thought he was talking through his arse wasn't guaranteed to put you high on the promotional stakes. And 'just getting shot' was the best understatement John had heard in a long time. Getting shot in the line of duty was one thing, a deliberate murder attempt by a colleague was another. He wasn't sure how he'd be feeling if he were in Mark's shoes. He glanced through the office window to the grey Canberra sky. Perhaps Mark didn't need this pressure at the moment. But if John was going to work with anyone, he wanted it to be someone he could trust. An air of suspicion still hung over the agency. Mark Talbert was the only one who remained untouched. But he'd paid a high price for the privilege.
'How about I give him the option? If he's in as bad a state as you reckon, he'll probably opt out.'
John watched as McSwain appeared to deliberate. Mark Talbert was the best chance they had, and McSwain knew it. Sometimes he just liked to flex his boss muscle.
'Well, he has the experience,' McSwain grudgingly replied. 'And he's already on the scene. But if he—'
'He won't. He's too much of a professional.'
McSwain pushed a folder across the desk. 'Give it to him personally. Gauge his reaction. If you have any doubts, take him out of it immediately.'
Julie eventually nodded in understanding, and relief washed through Mark. His job had been his life for many years now, and although there were aspects of it that he could never disclose to anyone, not even the shrink who'd tried to prise his psyche apart after he'd been shot, he needed Julie to accept that his work was a part of him that he couldn't pretend didn't exist.
She began to gather the glasses onto the second tray. Her hands stilled as though she'd thought of something.
'Are you,' she seemed to struggle for the words. 'Are you always going to be in that job?'
It took a while for Mark to answer. It was a question he had recently asked himself, and more frequently since his father's murder. He'd had a lot of career satisfaction, but his personal life had definitely taken second place. In the past few months he had become aware that he wanted more than his work was able to give him. 'Possibly not,' he replied.
He saw the way the tension eased from her features at his answer, and something inside him seemed to slot into place.
'When do you go back to Canberra?' she asked.
'I'm on leave for another month. It should be enough time to sort out Dad's affairs.'
Julie watched the tendons on Mark's neck tighten. She knew he'd always been close to his father, and could understand his difficulty in coming to terms with Gordon's death. Especially under the circumstances. 'Have the police determined anything?'
'No. There was no sign of a break-in. They think Dad had left one of the doors open and that's how the intruder entered. They're not even sure if it was only one person, but they're fairly certain the robbery was planned. There were no fingerprints, but Mum and Susan may have destroyed any clues when they came home and found Dad and tried to see if he was still alive.'
Julie stayed silent, knowing she could say nothing to ease Mark's pain. The anguish in his eyes increased, and he knuckled his eyebrows as though trying to expunge a deeper hurt. 'Before Dad drove me to the mountains, he said he had a problem he had to deal with, but he wouldn't discuss the details. I was a bit preoccupied at the time, and I guess …' Anguish etched across his face. He stood up and walked to the deck rail and stared at the pool where the boys were now honing their diving skills. 'I should have offered him more support.'
Julie had to swallow the lump in her throat. Mark's grief was almost palpable. She walked over to him and hugged him. For a split second she felt his hesitation, then his arms went around her and she was crushed against his chest. Neither of them spoke. After a while Julie realised they were breathing in rhythm, and a warmth that had nothing to do with the heat of the day was seeping through her. And so was the awareness that being held in Mark's arms felt more right than anything she'd experienced in years.
Finally, and reluctantly she felt, they moved apart.
Footsteps thudding onto the deck swung them around. Andy stood, water dripping from his hair, towel draped around his narrow waist, looking from one to the other and back again. 'Mum, the guys want to go to the movies at Indooroopilly Shoppingtown. That's okay, isn't it?'
Julie watched her son's need for independence war with his desire to be around in case she needed protecting. Though his voice had started to break, he was yet to have the growth spurt that would start him on the road to manhood. 'Of course it is. Just make sure you're home before dark. And take your mobile.'
Andy flashed her a grin that said he knew the rules, and dashed into the house. The lurch in her heart was almost painful. He was growing up so fast.
'What does he do on school holidays when you have to work?' Mark asked.
'He stays with Zac, one of his mates. Zac's mother has two younger children as well and she's happy to have a little extra income to help out.' She