Tomas nodded at me.
"It must have been what our Grandmother hoped for when she left the six year old Marnie with Joesph Holyhands. But the old people say bloodlines will show and it was certainly true of Marnie. She never really managed to become one of the New People and in the end she turned her back on trying."
He turned back to Parrus. "I've spoken to learned men who've see this in books. It's not just legend. And don't think that because the Wanderers don't go to your White Colleges that they have no powers. I've seen Wanderers do things that would surprise you."
"Fair enough," said Parrus, uncomfortable at Tomas' intensity. I could see he was still unbelieving, but fortunately he was too polite to say so. A slightly strained silence fell on the group.
After a few minutes Hamel thoughtfully brought up a new subject. "I suppose with the Madragas back on the throne, things will be back the way they were with magic in this country," he said.
"That can only be a good thing," I said, but I was interrupted by Tomas who said a little grimly, "It won't be the Madragas, brother. It will be the Saars of Gallia on the throne."
"Surely the Duke will just be a consort," said Hamel. "He won't actually rule. He's a foreigner. The electors would never stand for a foreigner."
"Well it's unlikely that they would put a woman on the throne," said Parrus. "And believe me, Leon of Gallia is not going to spend all that money and manpower just to give a present to his betrothed. He's not a man who shares power."
"There have been women rulers of Moria before," said Hamel.
"There always seem to be women rulers in legend," said Parrus gently. "But can you see the Lords of Moria nowadays minding a woman ruler. The Lords of Gallia mind Leon Saar well enough though and the Lords of Moria will too."
"Parrus is right," I said. "Duke Leon is good at keeping the peace and that is the most important thing a ruler can bring a country. What do any of us know about Julia Madraga?"
Parrus grinned at me and patted my cheek.
"Bless women," he said. "They see things so simply and practically."
We did not set a watch that night.
"We'll be safe enough," said Tomas. "Now that you need to have a travel pass to move around the countryside, most of the robbers are in Burning Light prisons. It's about the only good thing the Burning Light has done for this country."
Yet when I awoke with a start later that night, Tomas was sitting awake.
I had woken feeling uneasy, out of dreams I could not remember. Someone was watching. Someone was looking for me. I lay as still as possible for some moments looking for the watcher. I was glad when I saw Tomas awake. He wasn't even looking at me. He was staring grim faced into the fire.
"Is all well?" I asked.
He started. "Oh Aye! I could not sleep."
"Did you dream?"
"No nothing like that," he said. "In fact I could almost wish I had. At least when I dreamt of the stone woman, I knew Tasha was alive."
It was difficult to answer this remark.
"What kind of woman is Tasha?" I asked him thinking it might comfort him to talk of her.
"Difficult," said Tomas. "Sometimes she was very difficult to care for. Once Karac left, and there was the child ... She was often angry, often in black despair. She drank. Yet when she was in a good mood ... Oh Dion she sparkled. Even in her cups she was a fine healer. She might have been a fine mage had she had your opportunities. If only she'd been more lucky." He was silent for a moment.
"But there was something about her, something that seemed to almost grab on to ill-luck, to magnify it. To be an estranged twin, to have a bastard child, to have powers of magery when such things were forbidden - they are all things that can be got over or lived with. They are things other people lived with. But they tormented her and the torment was what made her so difficult. I knew it and it used to make me crazy. If only I could have been more patient with her. Maybe she wouldn't have gone."
Three years of being a healer attending the grieving and guilt-stricken living as much as the sick and dying, had made me familiar with such monologues, but not hardened to them. I still felt a terrible inadequacy in the face of others mental anguish. I suspect it is inevitable. I did my best.
"Don't blame yourself," I said. "Do you really think you could have made her happy? You can't make other people be happy."
"Aye you're right. Of course. But I can't help feeling ... I am the oldest brother. The head of the family, for what its worth."
His voice trailed off.
"So why did she go after this Stalker man?"
"All that unused magic was becoming a torment to her. She said once that it was like having your spirit filled with congealed porridge. In the last year, I've thought several times that she was loosing her mind. I think she did too. Sometimes it was as if she didn't know where she was. She went of into the forest once and after two days I found her hiding in a foxes den, covered in dirt and dead leaves, out of her mind babbling something about angels of vengeance made of fire. I should have found some way to send her into Gallia, but, somehow ... Well she wouldn't go anyway. I never understood that."
"Sounds like you did what you could."
"You know, she joined the Sisters of Light at one stage," he went on. "That's right, your sister was a Burning Light nun at the convent in Lammerquais. They work as healers, so it seemed like a good place for Tasha. At first. That was a year of troubles, well not a year she only lasted there eight months. She was always being given penance for disobedience. It was a very strict place and she just couldn't seem to knuckle under."
"What happened?"
"What happened? She got pregnant that's what happened. And they threw her out, of course, because chastity is one of their watchwords. Oh Tasha. I mean I would have thought it took real effort to get pregnant in a convent, but Tasha... Sweet Tansa she was infuriating sometimes. Of course she must have wanted to do it. To escape. She didn't want to disappoint me by just leaving, I see that now. I was worried about her and I pushed her to stay. I thought the discipline might give her some sense of place. What a fool I was."
"You did what you thought was best Tomas."
"I should have done better Dion. Then she might not have gone."
"No," I said "I'm sure not."
He shook his head and went back to staring into the fire.
I judged it best not to push him. There seem to be times when it is better to leave people with their own thoughts.
I got up and ducked out under the low hanging branches. It was chilly beyond the fire light, but clear and crisp, sparkling on the skin. The pale white moon shone high and full in the black dome of the sky. There was a small track leading past our campsite. I wandered down it a little way and stood staring back at our campfire through the trees. The moon was so bright it was almost like day.
"Was I not right, Enna Dion?"
I almost jumped out of my skin.
Beside the track where I stood was a high tree stump. A man sat perched upon it. I jumped back so that I was well out of reach.
"Who...?"
"So you don't remember me Enna Dion? I told you that we would be returning to Moria and here we both are."
The raven. The Wanderer on my wood pile. Yes it was that same old, young face.
"What's going on?" Tomas had come out from under the pine and was coming towards us, his hand on his knife hilt. "Who the hell are you?"
The man jumped lithely down from his perch. He drew himself up and pushed the great dark cloak he wore back over his shoulders.
"I am Symon," he said "I am the Raven."
I