My fingers know their way. My ears hear the words and write them down. I do not need to pay attention and I find myself wondering, what would it be like, to stand guard outside the palace or to work at one's own trade and lie down in one's own bed at night with nothing more to worry about but tomorrow's labour? All my life I have written other men's words, made permanent their thoughts.
I began by copying the Maxims of Ptah-hotep, my namesake, and continued through the Story of Sinuhe, who was a man, and the Contendings of Horus and Set, who are Gods.
I have written down accounts of journeys and ventures, of wars and conquests. I have written endless lists of grave goods and marriage contracts and all manner of documents by which men regulate their lives and record their words, and I have done nothing at all for myself.
I have married no wife, begotten no children, though I am fourteen years old and a man, with a man's seed to give. I have built nothing, made nothing, repaired nothing, created nothing. If I was to write the inscription for my own tomb now, I could say nothing but 'Ptah-hotep knew all words and three scripts and wrote a clear hand'.
The blow from the master's staff stings across my shoulders. He is standing over me, and he is angry. He must have spoken my name and gone unanswered.
'Show me,' he growls. I hand him my board and rub the weal which is forming across my back. He likes hurting, this Priest of Amen-Re. He has come here to give us instruction in the high script, which only priests use. I can see, turning in my place, the wet lip of the man who relishes pain and I blink hard, determined that he shall not see me weep and drink my tears for his pleasure.
I have written, I observe, most of the chapter of the inscription which he has been dictating. My characters are well formed and flowing and I assume that they are correct, for he drops the board back into my lap and says nothing else, only resumes the droning chant:
He assigned to me all that is with him, which the eye of his uraeus illuminates, all lands, all countries, every road, the circle of water Oceanos, they come to me in submission to my majesty: Son of Re, Amenhotep, Divine Ruler of Thebes, living forever, only vigilant one, begotten of the gods.'
The staff comes down hard on the shoulders of my friend Kheperren, and he gratifies the master's taste for wailing, so he repeats the blow. I wince for him as I would not for myself.
Who will free me of this misery?
Freedom comes in unlikely guises, says the sage Ptah-hotep, and so it came to me. We were bathing in the sacred lake, washing ourselves free of impurity for the evening prayer. I sluiced cool water over my wounded back, still angry and resentful at my fate. The priests were at their meal, the masters were in their rooms with their wives, and for a little while there was no one watching us. My friend Kheperren embraced me in the water.
'I hurt,' he complained, and I stroked the raised weals on his smooth back.
'I, too,' I agreed.
'I made three errors,' he admitted. 'But he hit me too hard.'
'I made none and he still hit me,' I replied. 'Doubtless the monster Apophis will eat his heart in the end but this does not comfort me, brother.'
'Hotep, can we run away?'
I swung him around so that we were facing one another, floating easily in the water, legs entwined. Re who is the sun was westering, but there was abundant light, spilling over the temple, making the stones glow like gold. Kheperren's brow was wrinkled with thought. He had black hair and the smooth olive skin of the countryman, whereas I was pale, almost ivory, and my hair was tinted with the Theban copper. It was unfair that I, whose father was only a scribe because he had been a common soldier in the army, was as fair as one of the Royal House, and my heart's brother was as dark as a peasant, though he was descended from the high priests of Amen-Re. I liked our contrast as we lay together, his thighs twined with mine.
'We can't run,' I told him. 'Remember when Yuya tried that. They caught him, beat him, and made him sit for a week with his legs tied together.'
'I can't bear it,' Kheperren wailed, burying his face in my neck. 'If it wasn't for thy love, brother, I would die.'
His mouth was hot against my skin; our breath mingled. Floating, we drifted into a bank of papyrus, and the reeds closed about us. We had often lain here, where no man could see us, clutching each other for comfort.
'We are in a herdsman's hut on the banks of the river,' he breathed. It was our favourite of all the stories we told each other.
'We have stabled our cattle for the night,' I returned, sliding both hands down his body. I found the phallus, hard in my palm as I had always found it, in the dark of the dormitory or the cool of the morning.
'We have left our dog Wolf on guard.'He returned the caress. 'And we are shutting our door for the night, against the demons of the darkness, against the Goddesses of the Twelve Hours,' he continued, his breath catching as my hands, wise in the ways of his body, brought his climax near.
'And sealing our door with the sacred seal of the Brothers,' I whispered, and then could not speak further as he closed my mouth with a kiss.
Careful not to be heard - though such love was not forbidden, it would give our Masters leverage to play one of us against the other - we spilled our seed into the reeds, shivering and kissing. There was no one in the world whom I loved as much as my brother Kheperren.
And as we came up the bank together, still breathless with release, we found a priest waiting for us. We quickly schooled our features into the blank which gives nothing away, but it was not necessary. He smiled at us.
He was not beautiful, being a little fat. The rolls of his belly spoke of good living and his jaw was deformed, but his smile was enchanting and a little wistful, the smile of a man who has shared such delights and possesses them no longer.
'I came to seek a scribe, and it seems that I have found two,' he said politely. I was about to reply when Kheperren grabbed me and dragged me down to my knees and then pushed me onto my face on the paved shore of the sacred lake.
'What are you doing?' I protested as I yielded to his hand.
'Lord of the Two Lands, forgive our insolence,' he begged, and I realised that I had just been spoken to by the Pharaoh's son Akhnamen, Amenhotep IV, co-regent with our own Pharaoh and his only son since Thutmose the Prince died.
And I had almost spoken to a Pharaoh while standing on my feet and looking into his face, for which I could rightly be put to a very nasty death.
'Forgive us, Ruler of Rulers,' I agreed hastily, and put my lips to the curved toe of a gem-encrusted sandal.
A number of people laughed. Out of the corner of my eye - I stayed exactly where I was, face down on the bank in an attitude of complete prostration - I saw the hems of delicate garments and small feet in papyrus sandals.
'Come, let them arise,' said a gentle voice. I dared a quick glance upward and saw the neat dark wig and painted eyes of a very beautiful older woman. Her hennaed hand almost touched my brother's head. Patterns were drawn up to her wrists, which were heavy with chains in the form of lotus flowers and buds. The scent of jasmine enveloped us as the others came from concealment under the outer pillars of the temple of Amen-Re.
'Are they not comely?' asked the Lord of the Two Lands idly.
'Comely indeed, but what does His Majesty want with them?' asked the honey-voiced Queen. She must be the famous Tiye, the red-headed woman, Akhnamen's mother.
'I have need of a personal scribe,' said the King. 'What say you, Lady of the Two Lands, shall I have this or this?' He touched