Want to know what the question was? Sure you do! “Excuse me, but do you carry handcuffs? Not the toy kind, but the real ones with a lock and key.” I answered by saying exactly what he was expecting to hear, “No, I’m afraid we don’t.” “Maybe where I had seen them was at Wal-Mart. I’ll try there.” This was his excuse to exit line, a game I was familiar with. But as I had already seen him put hardware items inside his pants pocket, I called for the Assistant I had flagged down, to make the arrest.
He never made it to Wal-Mart. He was in our security office being questioned. Like the other guy, he seemed content with the fact that he had been caught. He too cooperated in answering the questions. Then a brilliant answer to the question he had earlier asked of me came into my mind. “By the way, we have someone on the way that has a pair of those “Real handcuffs” you were looking for.” I loved the look of frustration my remark brought to his face.
Chapter Three
What Date Is It Today?
Some shoplifters have a great degree of patience. I was again working at Kmart. I was busy working on the floor, stocking. Suddenly a back door alarm near to where I was standing began sounding loudly. Someone had opened a secured door at the back of the store. It was a door which to get to, they had to go through our back stockroom. I ran through the opened door and observed a man casually walking toward the far end of the store. I quickly caught up with him and said, “Excuse me.” Looking at me the man innocently asked, “Did I do something wrong?” “Yes, you opened a secured door in our back stockroom,” I answered.
Noticing he was carrying a big bag I asked, “May I see what you have in your bag?” “Sure, he said. It’s a Lantern I just bought.” “Do you have a receipt for it?” I asked. “It’s inside of the bag,” he replied. Seeing a receipt, I pulled it out and began to look it over. By this time Bill Wilson, along with several other guys had joined us. The receipt had the right item, a Coleman Double Mantle Lantern. Even the selling price was correct. But that date?
I had a bit of a problem with the date. Today was June 15th 1975, but the receipt I was looking at said June 15th 1974. This idiot had waited a full year to try and take advantage of getting a free lantern. Had I not learned from my Op Con job in the Navy to be observant, he might have gotten away had I only glanced at the receipt. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Nice Try!” Bill then asked me, “Is there something wrong Joe?” “Look at the receipt,” I told Bill as I handed it to him. “I don’t see anything wrong,” he said. “What is today’s date?” I asked Bill. “June 15th, the same as it says on the receipt.” “O.K, then tell me what year is it?” I said. Looking again at the receipt, Bill said, “Oh I see. Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me back to the store.”
All the way back to the store and continuing once inside, the man kept on saying this was a receipt he had just been given for his purchase. Once back in the Sporting Goods Department, where the man insisted he had paid for the lantern; he was asked at which of the two registers had he paid? Pointing to the one on the left without delay, he said with certainty, “That one!”
At this Bill walked up to the register, grabbed a nearby item and rang it up. Looking at the receipt, the year was 1975. “You must be mistaken,” Bill told the man. “You’re right, I’m too nervous. It was at the other register that I bought the lantern. “You’re sure?” Bill asked. “Yes, it was that register, I remember now.” “O.K. lets see,” said Bill, as he grabbed another nearby item and proceeded to ring it up on the second register. “What date is on this receipt?” The man asked Bill. “1975,” he said. “But that can’t be! I know I bought it here just a few minutes ago.” “I have another theory,” Bill said. “Could it be you are a thief?” At this, the man said, “Yeah, I guess you’ve got me.” Bill looked at me and said, “Good job Joe!”
Chapter Four
Let Us Know When You Get Tired
(An episode from CHIPS?)
This story made me feel like I was participating in an episode from the popular 70s hit T.V. show, CHIPS. I had bought a nice Honda Scooter to ride to work on. I kept it parked just outside the front door of the store. As you already know, my department was the Appliances Department. I was in the stockroom getting items need for restocking, when I heard the call over the intercom. “Code five and a half to the front of the store!” the young lady at the front checkouts anxiously shouted into the P.A.
This was the code announcing all male employees were to go to wherever the code had called for. 99% of the time, it was to help catch a shoplifter, or help stop a fight with one. This time as I later learned, it was to catch a guy who had used my being in the stock room to go behind the counter and steal a $119.00 phone answering system. As I ran toward the front door, I was joined by my friend, Bill Wilson.
Now in our forties, Bill and I were the two oldest of the men chasing after the shoplifter. When we got outside, I immediately noticed my Scooter sitting there. Reaching for the key I said to Bill, “Hey Bill! Hop on! Why run when you can ride?” Bill got on the back seat and I started up the 250 ccs of power, and away we went.
Now here’s where it gets funny. The guy was one of those types often referred to as a string bean. He was thin, and long on legs at around 6’4”. He had run across busy 34th St. N. and into the trailer park called Conner’s. He had a good lead on our guys who were chasing him. So I decided the best thing to do would be drive in through a back road to Conner’s.
As we did, looking straight ahead there was our guy, clinging closely to a lawn building while looking toward the front, where our guys were making their way down. He did not at first see us coming, but as he turned his head around we were only about five feet away. I yelled, “SURPRISE!” A look of shock and disbelief came on his face, as he immediately began trying to run away from us. I told Bill to stay on the Scooter, telling him this is going to be fun.
Long legs ran between trailers, and as we were on a scooter and not in a car, I was able to easily follow. He ran, and he ran, and he ran, with me staying just three feet away, allowing him to lead. I called out to him and announced: “You let us know when you get tired.” After having run for around two city blocks, long legs finally stopped, saying between breaths, “O.K. I quit. I’m tired.” At this Bill hopped off the Scooter and placed the cuffs on Daddy Long Legs. What a FUN Adventure and fond memory!
Chapter Five
Shoplifters Come In All Ages
In this story you will discover as I did, that shoplifters are not always young punks, some are old punks. Still working at the Kmart, one day I was returning a few misplaced items I had found in my department, back to the departments they belonged. When bringing an item back to the hardware department, out of the corner of my eye I noticed an old man who was squatting and in the process of using his thumbnail to undo the seals on a plastic box containing nuts and bolts. As I was stopped at the end of the aisle and was approximately 6 feet behind and away from him, he was unaware I was watching.
As I continued watching, he managed to pierce through the seal on both sides and open the box. He proceeded to sort through the box, and as I watched, he took what appeared to be some nuts and bolts from the box placing them in the pocket of the white shorts he was wearing. He then took the box and placed it on the bottom of the back row of the merchandise. Standing back up, he began heading for the door.
I looked around and quickly found one of the Assistant managers. I told him what I had just witnessed and pointed toward the man, who was nearing the front door to make his exit. The Assistant Manager notified the girl at the Service Desk to make the shoplifter call on the P.A. We then went out to confront the man. He stopped at the Assistant Manager’s request, and soon Bill Wilson had come out to join us, along