FURTHER
ADVENTURES OF
“DIRTY”
JOE CALLIHAN
By: Joe Callihan
Copyright 2013 Joe Callihan,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-1422-5
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, photographic including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.
INTRODUCTION
If you’ve read my first “Dirty Joe” book you may have said to yourself, this guy sounds like he’s seen one too many John Wayne movies. When relating these true stories from my life, sometimes I’ve wondered about that myself. I was and am a big fan of “The Duke.” I admired the kind of hero he portrayed in his movies, one of courage and character. Like many other fans, there were times when I wished I had been able to have met him and got to know him better, face to face.
But as Elvis Presley is famous for saying: “An image is one thing but the man himself can be totally different.” I used to have a friend who claimed to have known and paled around with John Wayne. He had been a Sergeant in Special Forces, and had served in Viet Nam. He claimed Wayne used to take him on fishing trips on his boat, and he also claimed to have attended some parties where Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra were present. I don’t know just how true this guy’s stories were – he’s the kind who likes to name drop. But over the years I’ve heard some of what I would consider unflattering things about John Wayne and his love for alcoholic beverages.
Were this true, I’m not so sure he and I would have hit it off. My mother having been an alcoholic for most of her adult life, I never found interest or the need for such drinks. I’ve done a good enough job of making a fool of myself at times, without needing the help of alcohol or drugs. From what I have heard, Wayne wanted you to be his “drinking” buddy. I would have told him clearly, “Forget it! That’s not for me!” But who knows, with God’s help, maybe I could have helped him get off that junk! With God’s help my mother did, even though late in her life. Toward the end of her life I finally got to know her better than I had all of the earlier years.
Well, the cat is out of the bag! At least now, as you read my true stories of adventure, both in the “Dirty Joe” books and Adventures In Navyland; you will know I never got my courage from a bottle or a drug. I was, and am my own man, who is not afraid to ask for God’s help, and acknowledge having received it.
Sometimes I feel my adventures were more associated with a boyhood image of manly justice whom I grew up on and admired: The Lone Ranger.
I most certainly would have enjoyed meeting Mr. Clayton Moore and Mr. Jay Silverheels. May God rest their souls!
Chapter One
What Did I Do Wrong?
In this book I deal mainly with shoplifting incidents where I participated in catching the thief or thieves. I must admit for the most part, I usually got satisfaction in seeing someone wanting to steal rather than pay (as I had to do) for items, have to pay a fine, or do time in jail. There were exceptions, as you will find in my stories. But I had no respect at all for a thief. What redeeming quality do they offer? Would I ever desire to be like them? NO! NEVER! Yet not meaning to be judgmental, there, but for the grace of God, go I.
So to begin my stories I will tell of one who thought it was wise to want to become a thief. He thought he had learned all there was to know. But thanks to me, he got some jail time to realize there were a few things he still did not know. I was working in the Appliances Department of a local Kmart. I was standing at the counter going over some paperwork when I noticed how intensely I was being watched.
It was a young man in his mid twenties who was walking past in an aisle about ten feet away. As he walked his head was turned to the side, observing me, obviously trying to determine if I was watching him. So naturally I looked away. I immediately looked down again at the papers in front of me, thinking to myself, “No, I’m not watching you, go ahead and steal the store.” I wanted him to feel comfortable, so as to not stop his intentions.
He was wearing a long white tee shirt, which was outside his pants. I asked Mary, the lady working with me, if she would watch the department for awhile. I told her I had someone suspicious I needed to follow. She agreed, and I went to work. As he made his way toward the front of the store, when he looked behind, there I was. So he began to go in circles. I was able to spot one of the Assistant Store Managers and pointed out my suspect, using rapid movements of my pointing finger. Now the Assistant joined me in watching, only from a front angle.
As our guy at last headed toward the door, at this, the Assistant made a bold move, especially since neither of us had actually seen him make any effort to conceal anything. He walked up to the guy and simply yet boldly asked, “Do you have something under your shirt that belongs to us?” As an answer, the guy opened the front of his shirt and produced two cassette tapes that were tucked into his belt. He was trying to smuggle them out, without paying.
The assistant and I took him back to the security office where my friend, Bill Wilson, head of security was working. The Assistant, after having explained to Bill what had just transpired, left the guy with Bill and me. I’m so glad I was there! Here’s where it gets good, THE INTERVIEW!
Having read him his rights and the Assistant having called the police; Bill began asking the usual questions. Much to my surprise the guy cooperated.
He readily offered answers to each question asked. But the one which I found most intriguing was the answer he gave as to why he had chosen to try stealing from us. Bill and I could not believe our ears! It was because he had done part time security work for Zayers, another discount store which had recently gone bankrupt. (Hiring a guy like this for security, no wonder they went bankrupt)!
Bill asked the natural question to follow that answer. “After having worked in security, and seeing shoplifters get caught day after day, what would make you want to do something so stupid? His answer revealed his stupidity. “Because I thought I had learned what not to do to get caught.” Then looking at me he quickly asked: “Where did I go wrong? How did you spot me?”
“I’m not going to tell you, I said, because I’m afraid you might think you’ve learned something. But I will tell you this. It was stupidly obvious what you were doing. The next time you’re in a store and feel like stealing, I want you to worry about getting caught. Because I can assure you, you will!” What a sad look came over his face, as the policeman came to take him away. He learned he was not as smart as he had thought he was. His car was searched while being interviewed, and six more tapes were found under the front seat, with the long plastic protector’s still on.
Chapter Two
Do You Carry Real Handcuffs?
(This is one of my favorites)
Oh no! He’s at it again! Yes, just like the guy before, I was being watched with deep intensity. So once again I asked Mary to watch the Department, while I did some surveillance of a suspicious character. I arrived just in time to see him stuffing several items from the Hardware Department into his pants.
Then looking over to his right, he observed me standing there. I did not approach him, nor did I say a word. I simply followed him around the store. He went into