“Tom! Don’t. Stop!” Sara exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “You’re ruining my romantic story. You’re as bad as Mannie. Let’s go back downstairs and see how Jimmy is doing.” She dropped Tom’s hand, started to turn away.
“Sara, wait. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I lashed out like that. I didn’t mean to offend you. I . . . I don’t know what I was thinking. Forget what I said.” What the hell is wrong with me? What possessed me to go on such a cruel tirade?
Sara was standing at the bottom of the attic stairs. Tom let his hand rest on her shoulder. She smelled of delicate roses and sea air. Turning her to face him, Tom gently kissed her. She felt small and vulnerable in his arms, as if she might break if he held her too tightly, as if she might easily be destroyed if she could but guess his horrid sin. Selfishly he held on to her and felt comfort and solace. Quite possibly he thought he felt the beginning pangs of love and passion for this woman. “Sara,” he whispered into the soft silkiness of her hair.
Did she feel the same? She hasn’t pulled away from him. Her kiss was as passionate as his. Wasn’t it? Or would he open his eyes and find he’d only imagined she felt as he did—only inane assumptions of a man crazed, possibly even mad, from guilt? A man haunted and tormented by the agony of unrequited love? But—if he was imagining that moment, it was better than the hell he’d been living, and he didn’t mind.
Sara spoke his name softly, her voice floating on the air. Tom inhaled the delicate scent of her perfume, felt her arms around him. As he opened his eyes and looked into her violet eyes, she smiled. This is real. Tom smiled back.
“Sara? Mr. Gardner? Are you up there?” Jimmy called from the bottom of the stairs.
“Yes. Tom was showing me around the house. Come on up,” Sara shouted. Reluctantly, Tom released her as Jimmy bounded up the stairs and down the hall.
“I’ve been looking all over for you. Thought maybe you went down to the beach or something. Anyhow, were you listening to me? How did you think I played that last song?”
“You’re a natural, kid.” Tom playfully ruffled the boy’s unruly, red hair. “In fact, you did so well, I think by Christmas you’ll probably be able to make your debut. That is, if you promise to come over and practice as often as you can. What do you think about that, champ?”
Jimmy beamed. “You bet I will. I’ll figure out something to tell Mother. She’s always glad to have me out from under foot anyway. And Billy’s friend Alan is coming next week, so nobody will even notice if I’m not around. I promise I won’t get in your way. I’ll stay in the living room and practice. Okay?”
“I don’t mind your being around one bit. My sister and her family will be here next week. I have a feeling they’ll be very happy to have you here. In fact, my niece, Lizzie, will be thrilled to have someone to play with, even if it has to be a boy.” Tom winked at Jimmy. “Come on, let’s go down to the kitchen and have something to drink. I think there are chocolate chip cookies, too.”
While Jimmy ran ahead, Sara and Tom stood together for a moment, not wanting to end their time alone. Tom held her for a few moments and whispered, “I don’t want you to go, Sara. Won’t you stay with me today?”
She pulled away, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t want to go either, Tom, but I have to. Don’t look disappointed. Now that Vivian has a car, she’ll be gone a great deal of the time . . . if William will let her drive his car! She’s not the safest driver! Somehow we’ll make time to be together—just the two of us—as often as we can.”
It was raining again when Sara and Jimmy left. Joe was leaving and offered to drive them home on his way to town. Tom watched somberly as they drove off. Sara, what have I gotten you into?
Chapter 22
“Tom, I’m so pleased you’re already getting to know your neighbors. Good for you, big brother,” Cassie purred. She’d called right after everyone left.
Tom told her about the Harrisons and his friendship with Jimmy and Sara. He carefully avoided mentioning his feelings for Sara.
“I’m certain I’ve met William Harrison before. Isn’t he an antique dealer or something?”
“Yeah, that’s the one,” Tom said. “Actually, he’s in the importing trade. He does extremely well judging by the money he’s spent decorating their ‘vacation’ home. I haven’t met him yet. Seems to be a very busy man. He’s on the coast pursuing a business deal, according to Jimmy.” Cassie was silent; Tom knew what she was waiting for him to say. He would not give her the satisfaction. “You still there, Sis?” he taunted.
“Quit teasing me. You’re being much too guarded. What about Sara Lawson? Come clean.”
“Very charming woman. I don’t know much about her. She’s a teacher and plans to stay here tutoring the two boys.”
“Tom, you can be so exasperating! You know that’s not what I meant! Is she young, old, fat, ugly, married or? . . . What? Quit laughing at me and tell me what she’s like!”
“Cassie, you know I’m not good at that sort of thing,” Tom chided.
“All right have it your way! I’ll have to wait and see for myself, I guess. But you have to promise me you’ll invite her over after Thanksgiving. Will you?”
“Sure. Tell you what. If you give me your word that you’ll play hostess, I’ll do one better. I’ll invite the whole Harrison clan over so you can inspect them all at once. What do you think about that?”
Cassie was quiet for a moment. Apparently Tom had caught her off guard. After all, it had been years since he’d shown any interest in seeing anyone socially, let alone actually giving a party. “You know I’d love to. Are you sure you’re up to it, Tom?”
“Guess I have to find out sometime, don’t I? Can’t stay a recluse forever. Besides, there won’t be that many people— just the Harrisons and our family. And, of course, Joe. How about the Saturday after Thanksgiving?”
They talked for about an hour until Cassie finally said she had to go. She and Michael had a dinner engagement. Tom hated ending their conversation. It had been so long since they’d talked like this. He felt a need to try to make up for all the years they’d missed. Cassie and Elise had never gotten along, so during the years of their marriage, he and Cassie had little contact. The bond they’d once felt had all but disappeared. There would be lots of time to make up for that now.
***
Cassie and Tom were close as children. He was six when she was born and still, to this day, he remembered his mother holding the tiny baby out to him. “Tom, this is your new sister, Cassie. She’s yours as much as she is your father’s and mine. I need you to help take care of her. You can see how helpless she is. She’ll need a brother like you to look out for her.” She handed the bundle to him, and he’d gazed in awe at the tiny red face, the perfect miniature hand with its thumb searching for her tiny, pink mouth.
By the time Tom met Elise, Cassie was on her own, no longer in need of his affections or his guidance. But Elise! How delicate and innocent she was. She needed him. He would love her, adore her, share his life with her. So he’d thought.
Now, looking back, Tom realized the mistake he’d made. Elise had been too young and hadn’t realized what she was doing when she entered into a relationship with him. She thought him bold, daring and exciting, her chance for a new life. She was too young and too inexperienced to have made such a serious commitment.
Or maybe his mother had been right, and Elise had stalked and cunningly hunted him—her bait her feigned frailty and innocence. Tom mistakenly believed her weak and helpless, making it easy for her to entangle him in her web of deceit. Maybe.
Or possibly Elise thought she loved him. That’s what Tom believed.Then. After all, she’d been very naive and was searching