In what ways were you and your husband complementary to each other? (Did your gifts correspond to his weaknesses, and vice versa?)
In what ways were you and your husband truly "partners"?
How have you experienced the truth of this passage from Psalms? "You have sent me misery and hardship, but You will give me life again, You will pull me up again from the depths of the earth, prolong my old age, and once more comfort me."
BLESSED MARGUERITE D'YOUVILLE: A STORY OF PATIENT ENDURANCE
“My dear Sisters, constantly remain faithful to the state which you have embraced: always walk the paths of steadfastness, obedience, and mortification - but above all, make the most perfect union reign among you."
Bl. Marguerite d'Youville
Blessed Marie-Marguerite d'Youville (d. 1771), born Marguerite Dufrost de la Jemmerais, was one of six children born to parents of French ancestry in Quebec, Canada. As a girl, Marguerite spent most of her time helping her mother tend to her younger siblings.
The comfortable farming family was brought low by the death of her father, but they lived as best they could off the land. As was the custom, eleven-year-old Marguerite was sent to an Ursuline convent school; she was unusually bright, and had a peaceful nature. Here Marguerite developed a devotion to the Sacred Heart.
Though she was attracted to the religious life, Marguerite assumed she would marry one day. The man her family picked for her, Francois d'Youville, happened to be handsome and wealthy. Unfortunately the marriage turned out tragically. Francois was often gone on trading expeditions that involved bribing the Indians to give up valuable furs for "fire water."
Equally difficult was Marguerite's domestic situation. Although she was a creative and experienced homemaker, the young woman found herself completely under the domination of a bitter, jealous mother-in-law who resented the beauty, charm, and refined virtues of her son's wife. To make matters worse, Marguerite's husband soon showed himself to be crude, selfish, and indifferent. He left for long periods of time without explanation, and was absent for the birth of their first child - busy trading liquor for furs.
She wept bitter tears when she realized how difficult her situation was to be, but she made up her mind never to criticize him, even though his behavior became more and more ignoble. Her misery was compounded when their infant son died. She gave the next child her husband's name, hoping that this would soften his heart. But he was also absent for this boy's birth and baptism. Their little girl, Marie, died as a baby; the next child, Louise, lived less than three months.
After the death of his mother, Francois gave himself up to a completely dissipated life of drinking, carousing, and gambling. He squandered all the family money, leaving Marguerite to work hard to provide for necessities. She also had to endure the disgust of the people of Montreal, enduring their sneers and reproaches when she stepped out with her baby to go to the marketplace.
Desperately Marguerite tried by prayer and example to convert her husband, lest his soul be damned for eternity. The future saint took solace in joining the Confraternity of the Holy Family, in this way taking as her own the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Under the guidance of a fine priest she learned how to sanctify the pain of her life day by day. The priest predicted that God would accomplish a great work through her one day.
Marguerite's husband died suddenly from inflammation of the lungs. The young widow requested that the priests of the Church offer three hundred sixty Masses for his soul. In spite of his abusive behavior, she grieved his death. Destitute and burdened with debts, Marguerite was left with two children - one aged six, the other a baby. (The last child, Charles, eventually became a priest.)
"But whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a loss because of Christ. More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having any righteousness of my own based on the law but that which comes through faith in Christ…"
Philippians 3:7-10
Marguerite endured great suffering within her marriage, including the loss of three young children. Her husband's bad choices caused her other losses - loss of security, social standing, and financial hardship. Yet she forgave her husband. What about this story speaks to you, especially in light of the passage above?
Lord Jesus, as I am stripped of all that once mattered to me,
help me to embrace more of You.
PSALM 10:10-14
The helpless are crushed, laid low; they fall into the power of the wicked,
Who say in their hearts, "God pays no attention, shows no concern, never bothers to look."
Rise up, LORD God! Raise your arm! Do not forget the poor. Why should the wicked scorn God, say in their hearts, "God doesn't care"?
But you do see; you do observe this misery and sorrow; you take the matter in hand. To you the helpless can entrust their cause; you are the defender of orphans.
Do you ever feel as though the whole world has forgotten you and your family? Have even your closest friends returned to "normal" life, or (worse) urged you to get on with your life, as though you could outrun your grief?
The Lord sees you; He observes your misery and sorrow. Listen to the words of Isaiah …
But Zion said, "The Lord has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me."
Can a mother forget her infant, or be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget, I will never forget you.
See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name...
Isaiah 49:14-15
How does this passage apply to my life today?