The Essential W. Somerset Maugham Collection. W. Somerset Maugham. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: W. Somerset Maugham
Издательство: Ingram
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Жанр произведения: Контркультура
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9781456613907
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eating his luncheon irritably on the other side of her. She managed to avoid talking to Dick Lomas afterwards, but when she bade Lady Kelsey farewell, he rose also.

      'Shall I drive you home?' he asked.

      'I'm not going home, but if you like to drive me to Victoria Street, you may. I have an appointment there at four.'

      They went out, stepped into a cab, and quite coolly Dick told the driver to go to Hammersmith. He sat himself down by her side, with a smile of self-satisfaction.

      'What on earth are you doing?' she cried.

      'I want to have a talk to you.'

      'I'm sure that's charming of you,' she answered, 'but I shall miss my appointment.'

      'That's a matter of complete indifference to me.'

      'Don't bother about my feelings, will you?' she replied, satirically.

      'I have no intention of doing so,' he smiled.

      Mrs. Crowley was obliged to laugh at the neatness with which he had entrapped her. Or had he fallen into the trap which she had set for him? She really did not quite know.

      'If your object in thus abducting me was to talk, hadn't you better do so?' she asked. 'I hope you will endeavour to be not only amusing but instructive.'

      'I wanted to point out to you that it is not civil pointedly to ignore a man who is sitting next to you at luncheon.'

      'Did I do that? I'm so sorry. But I know you're greedy, and I thought you'd be absorbed in the lobster mayonnaise.'

      'I'm beginning to think I dislike you rather than otherwise,' he murmured reflectively.

      'Ah, I suppose that is why you haven't been in to see me for so long.'

      'May I venture to remind you that I've called upon you three times during the last week.'

      'I've been out so much lately,' she answered, with a little wave of her hand.

      'Nonsense. Once I heard you playing scales in the drawing-room, and once I positively saw you peeping at me through the curtains.'

      'Why didn't you make a face at me?' she asked.

      'You're not going to trouble to deny it?'

      'It's perfectly true.'

      Dick could not help giving a little laugh. He didn't quite know whether he wanted to kiss Julia Crowley or to shake her.

      'And may I ask why you've treated me in this abominable fashion?' he asked blandly.

      She looked at him sideways from beneath her long eyelashes. Dick was a man who appreciated the artifices of civilisation in the fair sex, and he was pleased with her pretty hat and with the flounces of her muslin frock.

      'Because I chose,' she smiled.

      He shrugged his shoulders and put on an air of resignation.

      'Of course if you're going to make yourself systematically disagreeable unless I marry you, I suppose I must bow to the inevitable.'

      'I don't know if you have the least idea what you're talking about,' she answered, raising her eyebrows. 'I'm sure I haven't.'

      'I was merely asking you in a rather well-turned phrase to name the day. The lamb shall be ready for the slaughter.'

      'Is that a proposal of marriage?' she asked gaily.

      'If not it must be its twin brother,' he returned.

      'I'm so glad you've told me, because if I'd met it in the street I should never have recognised it, and I should simply have cut it dead.'

      'You show as little inclination to answer a question as a cabinet minister in the House of Commons.'

      'Couldn't you infuse a little romance into it? You see, I'm American, and I have a certain taste for sentiment in affairs of the heart.'

      'I should be charmed, only you must remember that I have no experience in these matters.'

      'That is visible to the naked eye,' she retorted. 'But I would suggest that it is only decent to go down on your bended knees.'

      'That sounds a perilous feat to perform in a hansom cab, and it would certainly attract an amount of attention from passing bus-drivers which would be embarrassing.'

      'You could never convince me of the sincerity of your passion unless you did something of the kind,' she replied.

      'I assure you that it is quite out of fashion. Lovers now-a-days are much too middle-aged, and their joints are creaky. Besides it ruins the trousers.'

      'I admit your last reason is overwhelming. No nice woman should ask a man to make his trousers baggy at the knees.'

      'How could she love him if they were!' exclaimed Dick.

      'But at all events there can be no excuse for your not saying that you know you are utterly unworthy of me.'

      'Wild horses wouldn't induce me to make a statement which is so remote from the truth,' he replied coolly. 'I did it with my little hatchet.'

      'And of course you must threaten to commit suicide if I don't consent. That is only decent.'

      'Women are such sticklers for routine,' he sighed. 'They have no originality. They have a passion for commonplace, and in moments of emotion they fly with unerring instinct into the flamboyance of melodrama.'

      'I like to hear you use long words. It makes me feel so grown up.'

      'By the way, how old are you?' he asked suddenly.

      'Twenty-nine,' she answered promptly.

      'Nonsense. There is no such age.'

      'Pardon me,' she protested gravely. 'Upper parlour maids are always twenty-nine. But I deplore your tendency to digress.'

      'Am I digressing? I'm so sorry. What were we talking about?'

      Julia giggled. She did not know where the cab was going, and she certainly did not care. She was thoroughly enjoying herself.

      'You were taking advantage of my vast experience in such matters to learn how a man proposes to an eligible widow of great personal attractions.'

      'Your advice can't be very valuable, since you always refused the others.'

      'I didn't indeed,' she replied promptly. 'I made a point of accepting them all.'

      'That at all events is encouraging.'

      'Of course you may do it in your own way if you choose. But I must have a proposal in due form.'

      'My intelligence may be limited, but it seems to me that only four words are needed.' He counted them out deliberately on his fingers. 'Will--you--marry--me?'

      'That is both clear and simple.' She pressed back the thumb which he had left untouched. 'I reply in one: no.'

      He looked at her with every sign of astonishment.

      'I beg your pardon?' he said.

      'You heard quite correctly,' she smiled. 'The reply is in the negative.'

      She resisted a mad, but inconvenient, temptation to dance a breakdown on the floor of the hansom.

      'You're joking,' said Dick calmly. 'You're certainly joking.'

      'I will be a sister to you.'

      Dick reflected for a moment, and he rubbed his chin.

      'The