'He has been of infinite value to me--quite infinite value. You remember his definition of God? It is constantly in my mind. "_Gott ist eine Trane der Liebe, in tiefster Verborgenheit vergossen uber das menschliche Elend_." Profoundly touching! I know nothing to approach it.'
Suddenly he inquired:
'Do you see much of the Exeter clergy?'
'I know only the Vicar of St. Ethelreda's, Mr. Lilywhite.'
'Ha! Admirable fellow! Large-minded, broad of sympathies. Has distinctly the scientific turn of thought.'
Peak smiled, knowing the truth. But he had hit upon a way of meeting the Rev. Bruno which promised greatly to diminish the suffering inherent in the situation. He would use the large-souled man deliberately for his mirth. Chilvers's self-absorption lent itself to persiflage, and by indulging in that mood Godwin tasted some compensation for the part he had to play.
'And I believe you know the Warricombes very well?' pursued Chilvers.
'Yes.'
'Ha! I hope to see much of them. They are people after my own heart. Long ago I had a slight acquaintance with them. I hear we shan't see them till the summer.'
'I believe not.'
'Mr. Warricombe is a great geologist, I think?--Probably he frequents public worship as a mere tribute to social opinion?'
He asked the question in the airiest possible way, as if it mattered nothing to him what the reply might be.
'Mr. Warricombe is a man of sincere piety,' Godwin answered, with grave countenance.
'That by no means necessitates church-going, my dear Peak,' rejoined the other, waving his hand.
'You think not? I am still only a student, you must remember. My mind is in suspense on not a few points.'
'Of course! Of course! Pray let me give you the results of my own thought on this subject.'
He proceeded to do so, at some length. When he had rounded his last period, he unexpectedly started up, swung on his toes, spread his chest, drew a deep breath, and with the sweetest of smiles announced that he must postpone the delight of further conversation.
'You must come and dine with me as soon as my house is in reasonable order. As yet, everything is _sens dessus-dessous_. Delightful old city, Exeter! Charming! Charming!'
And on the moment he was gone.
What were this man's real opinions? He had brains and literature; his pose before the world was not that of an ignorant charlatan. Vanity, no doubt, was his prime motive, but did it operate to make a cleric of a secret materialist, or to incite a display of excessive liberalism in one whose convictions were orthodox? Godwin could not answer to his satisfaction, but he preferred the latter surmise.
One thing, however, became clear to him. All his conscientious scruples about entering the Church were superfluous. Chilvers would have smiled pityingly at anyone who disputed his right to live by the Establishment, and to stand up as an authorised preacher of the national faith. And beyond a doubt he regulated his degree of 'breadth' by standards familiar to him in professional intercourse. To him it seemed all-sufficient to preach a gospel of moral progress, of intellectual growth, of universal fraternity. If this were the tendency of Anglicanism, then almost any man who desired to live a cleanly life, and to see others do the same, might without hesitation become a clergyman. The old formulae of subscription were so symbolised, so volatilised, that they could not stand in the way of anyone but a combative nihilist. Peak was conscious of positive ideals by no means inconsistent with Christian teaching, and in his official capacity these alone would direct him.
He spent his evening pleasantly, often laughing as he recalled a phrase or gesture of the Rev. Bruno's.
In the night fell a sprinkling of snow, and when the sun rose it gleamed from a sky of pale, frosty blue. At ten o'clock Godwin set out for his usual walk, choosing the direction of the Old Tiverton Road. It was a fortnight since he had passed the Warricombes' house. At present he was disposed to indulge the thoughts which a sight of it would make active.
He had begun the ascent of the hill when the sound of an approaching vehicle caused him to raise his eyes--they were generally fixed on the ground when he walked alone. It was only a hired fly. But, as it passed him, he recognised the face he had least expected to see,--Sidwell Warricombe sat in the carriage, and unaccompanied. She noticed him--smiled--and bent forward. He clutched at his hat, but it happened that the driver had turned to look at him, and, instead of the salute he had intended, his hand waved to the man to stop. The gesture was scarcely voluntary; when he saw the carriage pull up, his heart sank; he felt guilty of monstrous impudence. But Sidwell's face appeared at the window, and its expression was anything but resentful; she offered her hand, too. Without preface of formal phrase he exclaimed:
'How delightful to see you so unexpectedly! Are you all here?'
'Only mother and I. We have come for a day or two.'
'Will you allow me to call? If only for a few minutes'----
'We shall be at home this afternoon.'
'Thank you! Don't you enjoy the sunshine after London?'
'Indeed I do!'
He stepped back and signed to the driver. Sidwell bent her head and was out of sight.
But the carriage was visible for some distance, and even when he could no longer see it he heard the horse's hoofs on the hard road. Long after the last sound had died away his heart continued to beat painfully, and he breathed as if recovering from a hard run.
How beautiful were these lanes and hills, even in mid-winter! Once more he sang aloud in his joyous solitude. The hope he had nourished was not unreasonable; his boldness justified itself. Yes, he was one of the men who succeed, and the life before him would be richer for all the mistakes and miseries through which he had passed. Thirty, forty, fifty--why, twenty years hence he would be in the prime of manhood, with perhaps yet another twenty years of mental and bodily vigour. One of the men who succeed!
CHAPTER II
On the morning after her journey down from London, Mrs. Warricombe awoke with the conviction that she had caught a cold. Her health was in general excellent, and she had no disposition to nurse imaginary ailments, but when some slight disorder broke the routine of her life she made the most of it, enjoying--much as children do--the importance with which for the time it invested her. At such seasons she was wont to regard herself with a mildly despondent compassion, to feel that her family and her friends held her of slight account; she spoke in a tone of conscious resignation, often with a forgiving smile. When the girls redoubled their attentions, and soothed her with gentle words, she would close her eyes and sigh, seeming to remind them that they would know her value when she was no more.
'You are hoarse, mother,' Sidwell said to her, when they met at breakfast.
'Am I, dear? You know I felt rather afraid of the journey. I hope I shan't be laid up.'
Sidwell advised her not to leave the house to-day. Having seen the invalid comfortably established in an upper room, she went into the city on business which could not be delayed. On her way occurred the meeting with Peak, but of this, on her return, she made no mention. Mother and daughter had luncheon upstairs, and Sidwell was full of affectionate solicitude.
'This