But how does this relate to our usual day-to-day communications? Perhaps it doesn’t, if our words and deeds are always taken the way we intend. If not, maybe it would be worth thinking about the message we are trying to put across and how we are doing it, rather than blaming someone else for not listening properly.
I recommend first-time readers glimpse the Table of Contents to find something of interest they can relate to, or that may be a likely contributor to unhappiness. There are a number of situations in each group which are pertinent to the subject of the section headers, but they may also be relevant to other issues.
Please try the suggestions in a practical way, rather than just imagining how you might feel if you did. There is no substitute for the hands-on approach which often highlights subtle yet important considerations that might, under normal circumstances, be overlooked.
And think well on how you feel – before, during and after a particular exercise – because all of them are intended to help you look deeply into yourself and understand how you genuinely react to situations. Even annoyance at the prospect of performing some ridiculous charade can tell you much about yourself and the way you are coping with life in general. This little book is not meant to change you as a person, just help you become who you truly wish to be.
Enjoy A Season of Happiness.
You deserve it.
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Happiness is Where You Find it
HAPPINESS IS WHERE YOU FIND IT
What is happiness? Where will you find it? How will you know that you have? You may spend a lifetime searching for it, only to discover it was at your fingertips all along.
You will have found happiness when you can sit back in contentment, knowing that this moment of pleasure could last until the end of your days; and wishing that it would.
DISCOVER YOUR ENJOYMENT FACTORS
Think about your moments of greatest pleasure and try to discern what makes them so special. Is it the place, the atmosphere, the company, your attitude? If certain elements were removed, would the enjoyment diminish? Maybe there is a common denominator, a particular aspect which you are continually attracted to.
Discover your prime enjoyment factors and you could save yourself future disappointment and heartache.
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FINAL DESTINATION - HAPPINESS
Because happiness is so intangible, we seem to expect it to be embodied in some ultimate achievement, a goal which, when reached, will provide the answer to all our prayers. Believe this, by all means, if the goal is realistic for you.
Travel the path you think will earn you the greatest reward, but try to pick one which gives the most satisfaction along the way. Take time to appreciate the smaller pleasures on offer now.
Linger and enjoy what you can, while you can. These special moments will supply the energy to carry on searching; if you still think you really need to.
STROLL FROM A TO B
Set yourself a route to walk, preferably out of town - maybe the bush or the beach. Have a starting point and a particular destination, but no time-limit. Now start out, taking notice of everything along the way.
Pause to examine plants and wildlife, flotsam along the high-tide mark, exposed roots, footprints. Collect shells, driftwood, interesting stones.
Understand that life has far more to offer when you are in less of a hurry to live it.
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ENJOY TODAY AS IT HAPPENS
Enjoying the moment is essential to happiness. Labouring too much on the future is to waste the present.
Plan to make the most of each day, especially one which you are not looking forward to. It will be over much faster if you deal with the challenge at hand, rather than worrying over those to come.
And if it turns out badly, no matter how hard you try – be glad when it’s dead and gone, a ghost which can’t exist in the present unless you allow it.
Regard every tomorrow as a fresh start with the potential for pleasure.
ENJOY TOMORROW - TONIGHT!
You may already be anticipating what tomorrow will bring. Once in bed, turn out the light and plan your enjoyment for the coming day.
Predict any problems and resolve to tackle them in a way which will ensure maximum satisfaction.
Earmark the best aspects as comfort zones to look forward to. Then sleep well to awake refreshed and eager to take up the challenge of a new day.
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ENJOY THE UNENJOYABLE
Like happiness, enjoyment is a state of mind. When we approach something with apprehension expecting it to be distasteful, it often turns out that way.
There is, however, always a positive element in every situation, even if only in the self-satisfaction of having the courage to tackle it.
Look for enjoyment in the least likely of places and it will be there.
THE SILLY SOLUTION
Pick an obnoxious task, especially a routine one, and determine to enjoy it by changing your approach in a comical or ridiculous way.
Wear something preposterous - a face-mask and snorkel to mow the lawn; a single Wellington boot to do the ironing; anything that feels totally out of context with the job in hand.
Talk to the chore as you do it - tell it jokes, or about your sex-life. And don't forget to laugh a lot. After all, you are supposed to be having fun.
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ENJOY, AGAIN AND AGAIN
The enjoyment of a single moment can last a lifetime.
A particularly pleasant experience can lift your spirits again and again by being an example of a good time you once had and can have in future.
These are times which can make even the most depressing of days tolerable.
REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES
Take