They held back the tears while ministering to her. Then they would leave the room to cry. Phillip recalled Patty turning to their daughter and asking her, “What’s wrong? What’s going on? Why can’t I move? Why am I feeling like this? I am having such hard time breathing.” Her daughter sat with her and explained it to her as she ministered to her through prayer and the word of God.
He recalled those last few days and the agony. His daughters consulted with the doctors and they were able to administer medication to assist in relieving Patty’s pain. She did not want to be admitted for what they call palliative care or care before death. It was her desire that if the Lord would take her, she would go to her Heavenly home from the earthly one with family by her side. As difficult as it was at times, Phillip was going to honor her request.
They prayed and cried and prayed and cried. God’s grace was sufficient and He gave them strength to guide, love and care for her as she was preparing to embark on the greatest event and transformation of her life.
The final day of her bed-ridden state had arrived. That morning, the entire family was present. Patty’s breathing became very shallow and she struggled to continue to get a breath of air. She was still able to speak softly and with a few words. They were words of love as the entire family sat in the room with her coming in and out during the early part of the day.
A few days earlier, Phillip was cutting grass and trimming the edges. He recalled how Patty had asked one of the children to go to him with a large cold drink and ask him to stop for a while. She was worried because it was such a hot day and she did not want anything to happen to him.
Phillip and his daughter smiled at each other at the thought of her concern. Near the back of the yard, he noticed a vine growing straight up. It was very green a new shoot growing tall. The vine was growing out of what seemed to be a dead plant. He remembered that it was the rose bush he had weed-whacked and ran over a year earlier that never seemed to grow back.
Patty reminded him to be careful. It seemed he was continually cutting or whacking down something that she had planted. It became a point of laughter between them. Out of the brown lower branches that appeared to be dead was a bright green and thick branch shooting straight up, about five feet tall.
At the end of the branch was a large red bud. Phillip was amazed, he could not believe it. He ran inside to tell Patty. She smiled and seemed more amused by his excitement than the rose. He made sure that all of the children went outside to see what he thought was dead and now somehow alive.
Prior to her death, toward the afternoon of her final day, Phillip walked into the rear of the back yard. In all its glory, there was the biggest single red rose. It was deep passion red in full bloom and in all its glory! It was beautiful and was the only thing on the bush that looked alive.
He rushed back into the house and took the kitchen shears, reached into the highest cabinet where they kept fine crystal glassware that they had since the early years of their marriage. He filled the tall crystal glass three quarters full with cool tap water, he ran into the backyard where the rose stood tall in full bloom.
He measured it with his eye, about eight to twelve inches down the vine. He cut it on an angle and placed it in the crystal glass.
Phillip returned to the house and walked into Patty’s bedroom. On the end table next to her, he placed the glass that carried the rose. In a soft tone and while fighting for breath, Patty said, “Phillip, it’s beautiful”. There in the room, the girls and his son could not believe the beauty of the rose. Patty loved it whenever Phillip brought her flowers. Each time he brought her roses.
As he prayed and the pictures of those last days had played in his mind, tears ran down his cheeks and onto his hands as he recalled the memory of that day. Everyone was in the room. One by one, the children left as Phillip and Patty had some time alone together. He stroked her hair and spoke of his love for her. He prayed and looked into her eyes.
A heaviness of sorrow came over him as he wept and positioned himself at the foot of the bed so she would not see him crying so hard. He kneeled, placed his face on her feet, and began to sob uncontrollably. She could not see him but heard him and could feel his tears as they fell upon her feet.
After a time, he moved closer toward the top of the bed and she was able to place one of her hands on his head. He longed for that touch. He recalled the times they would sit together, relaxing, and enjoying each other’s company, she would put her hand on his head and stroke his hair and Phillip would feel such love from her. How she loved him. He stayed in that position for a time.
Her breathing was getting more and more difficult. He called for the girls to see if they could help her. Phillip left to wash and put cold water on his face. One of the girls knocked on the door and said, “Dad, you better come in right now. It’s time for mom to go.”
Phillip went back into her room, the children were seated around the bed. He looked at Patty, she closed her eyes. At times, he could see her struggle to open them and small openings would appear and close again. As he looked at her, he was amazed, her face no longer showed the pain, anguish and years that illness had added. Her face was bright, glowing and youthful again and as beautiful as ever. Her breathing became slower, everyone was talking to her, praying aloud and told her they will see her soon on the other side.
The praise of God filled the room with encouraging words of Heaven and the Lord Jesus Christ. Phillip began to speak out to her, “I’ll see you there my love! It won’t be long. I’ll see you there.” Then the Spirit of God flooded the room. It was as if she was giving birth. He had been there to see all their children born, she had the same bright beautiful face and the hard struggle. She was birthing to the other side, into Heaven and the arms of our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Phillip felt a breeze and looked at the nightstand that was near the window. The petals of the rose blew off one at a time, a few landing near the bed. When Patty stopped breathing, his eldest daughter was standing by the head of the bed, looked at her Dad and said, “She is with the Lord now, Dad.” A quiet came over the room as all were silently praying. Some of the children cried softly. God almighty had called her home.
The room grew darker as time moved deeper into the night. The only traces of light came in from a streetlight and the night sky gently casting shadows through the window. The presence of the Lord filled the room and overshadowed Phillip. He began to give thanks to God for Patty, the children and the awesome love he had experienced.
He prayed and softly spoke these words into the stillness. “Lord, thank you for my wife. I loved her so much. Father, I don’t know how to move on from here. I don’t know how to continue. I’m not sure what to do, but I thank you Jesus. I have made so many mistakes. Lord, I just seem to keep going backward and further down. I just lose more and more. Patty would be so mad at me God if she was able to see all I have lost and my inability to do the right thing. Somehow, I must find a way and continue in faith to show the kind of strength I know she would have had. Lord Jesus, forgive me. Sometimes I feel so lost and confused. I need you now, more than ever. Forgive me Lord and help me. I have so much to thank you for and so much to live for. Father, at times it seems I’m trying to wake up from a dream. Lord, stir my heart. Revive my spirit and shake me loose from this heaviness and sorrow. Help me Lord, please. Abide in me and give me my strength and purpose back. Take hold of my life. Abide in me Lord. Awaken me Father and give me life again.”
As he prayed, within his mind he could see a train. Again, he thought of 161st Street, but just ignored it and focused more on his prayer. With thankfulness, he continued to pray these words, “I thank you for my children Lord God and all they have become in you. I love them so much and Patty, you know Lord how she loved her children and grandchildren. You know how she contended for them in faith. Every night in prayer,