The boys stood up without complaint, brushed the sand off their pants, and each took a hand to lead me back downstairs. As we walked to the kitchen we passed Emmet in the library. He was on the phone.
“I know that isn’t your process, Lydia, but I’d like to offer her the job while she is still here. If she says no, she says no. In fact, to give her more exposure to us, she can join us for dinner. Do you want to speak with her first?” I could hear Lydia responding in her kindergarten teacher voice. It sounded as if she was reprimanding Emmet. “Not a problem, Lydia. Susan and I both feel she’s qualified. Besides, this isn’t rocket science. Anything she needs to learn Amanda or Susan can teach her. As far as the background check…” he said, his voice trailing off to a whisper.
Soon Emmet came to the doorway to the kitchen. “Annie, would you come with me for a moment please?” This time I immediately answered to my new name. We walked back to the library and he handed me the phone. “Lydia would like to speak to you.”
“Annie, he wants to offer you the job. He is going to invite you to dinner if you want to get to know the family better before you make a decision. It’s up to you. You don’t have to give him an answer tonight, but if you stay for dinner, he is going to expect one. You’ve had an unusual week of interviewing. This isn’t how I have the hiring process structured. There’s a feedback call, a second interview, I do a write-up for both parties, a formal offer is …” The frustration in Lydia’s voice was amusing.
“Lydia,” I interrupted, suppressing a chuckle. “I would be honored to stay for dinner.”
I handed the phone back to Emmet and he motioned for me to have a seat. Once off the phone he offered me the job, again reviewing the requirements, duties, and pay. He asked that I join the family for dinner and wait until after dinner to give him my answer. “Any questions?” He asked.
“Yes, tell me …do you have an alligator pool or shark tank for your budding scientists?”
“Not yet,” Emmet said, finally lightening up while we walked to the kitchen. “I deflect enough disapproving feedback from the reptile room, but Eli and Josh love it…and it’s incredible what they have learned since we created it.”
Susan ducked out after serving us dinner, and Emmet’s formality dissipated as the boys asked me questions…like if the Hulk and King Kong were battling, who did I think would win; would I rather be eaten by an alligator or an anaconda; and my favorite, if I was a female wrestler, what would my name be. I knew all children weren’t this entertaining to be around, but I couldn’t help feel a bit cheated not having any of my own.
After answering all of their questions, I asked, “So what happened to some of the ladies like me who worked for your dad?” I was interested in getting the children’s perspective of employee turnover.
Eli looked over at his father first, then with the most innocent expression he said with his cute little lisp, “Well, the first one…um….we didn’t know she didn’t like frogs,” shrugging his little shoulders. “And she always wore dresses and scarves too. You shouldn’t wear stuff like that around frogs. She never came back. Dad mailed her all her stuff.”
“But you like frogs,” Josh said.
“Pretty much,” I said, “so I guess we don’t have that problem since I’m okay with frogs and I usually don’t wear dresses and scarves.”
“Guess not,” Josh said with a sort of problem-solving maturity.
I couldn’t help get a quick visual of Emmet’s assistant with frogs up her dress and tangled in her scarf running from the house screaming, never to return. This job would be anything but boring.
“Any other disasters you need to warn me about?” I asked.
“Well it won’t happen again, right Dad,” Eli said very adult like, looking at his father. “But one time all the crickets got out.”
“Out of the reptile room?”
“No. We just got home with a box of one thousand crickets. Dad set it on the kitchen table. I was just looking at them and the box sort of fell on the floor. All the crickets started to hop out while Mary was trying to make lunch for us.”
“Yeah,” Josh said shaking his head like a little man. “We lost another lady that day.”
“What did you do about all the crickets?” I shuddered a bit.
“Dad just sucked them up in the vacuum cleaner and we let them go in the reptile room. None of us were screaming.”
“So besides dodging frogs and crickets, what do these ladies do for your dad?” I asked. Emmet gave me a sideways glance.
“Well, some of them didn’t do much—just stared at dad a lot,” Josh offered honestly.
Emmet seemed to choke a bit on his food.
“I see, and what else?”
“You have to laugh like this when you’re around Dad.” Josh threw his head back, flipped his hair a bit and let out a sorority girl cackle.
“Joshua!” Emmet scolded.
“They do,” Eli defended.
“Well, you may have to help me with that Josh,” I said glancing at Emmet, noticing a hint of a smile. An attractive man like him was clearly used to female attention.
“Dad says you have to be able to read his mind and finish his sentences too.”
“Is that all?” I asked Josh.
“No, if Dad has a party you have to walk around in a pretty dress and hug a lot of people.”
“Do I ever get to do anything fun?”
“Yeah!” Eli chimed in. “…you get to play with us…sometimes on Saturdays, or if Susan’s sick, or on vacation, or if Dad has to work really late or has to go out of town—or if you just want to any time…you can just…you know…play with us. We’re fun!”
“That could be the best part of the job,” I said. “Is there anything I should be careful not to do?”
“Don’t ask Dad about Mom,” Eli whispered as though Emmet couldn’t hear him.
“Anything you don’t like to eat?” I asked, quickly trying to recover from the sudden discomfort.
“Well, we’re not supposed to tell you if we don’t like something you cook, but we really don’t like tomatoes, spinach, and stuff that smells nasty.”
“Yeah, nothing nasty,” Eli echoed.
“Hmm. No nasty smelling stuff. That could be almost all of my cooking.”
“That’s okay,” Josh offered, patting my hand. “Susan can help.”
“Well thank you; and thank you too, Eli. You two have already been a huge help. I appreciate your honesty.”
“If everyone’s finished eating, let’s clean up,” Emmet directed.
“Annie, you sit. Would you like coffee? Susan made some before she left.”
“Please.” I smiled.
“I’ll get it!” Josh exclaimed.
“Be sure to ask how she likes her coffee,” Emmet instructed.
“How do you like your coffee?” Josh parroted deepening his voice.
“Do you get coffee for your father, Josh?”
“Yes.” He answered proudly in his normal voice.
“Then make it the same way you do for him, please.” This wasn’t the time to get fussy about coffee. I watched