Overwhelmed, Celia stared over Lymburner’s shoulder but her obvious sense of confusion did not deter Lymburner’s enthusiasm. His eyes grew even wider, his voice louder. “The good news is that the majority of autistic children, over time, get better. There are delays and plateaus in their learning curve, and they are not as predictable as a normal child’s. History tells us that their learning curve eventually goes the distance. Autistic children just tend to start and stop a lot. They have just as many brain cells as the normal child but, if I may use an analogy, they are wired differently. Their learning curve can be compared to taking a cross-country trip. Normal children have a road map, autistic children are flying solo, with no map. Oh, the autistic group will eventually get there, accomplish the same goal, but they will have a few more wrong turns and roadblocks along the way. It is just a slower process. These children are not mentally retarded. They have developmental challenges that can be partially defeated. I warn you, there are many challenges ahead, but there is no reason not to have a positive attitude. There are too many success stories. We rarely see a child regress with age.”
A hush fell across the office as Celia reflected on Lymburner’s explanations. Retarded was a jarring word, but Celia was relieved that Lymburner’s explanations were not the textbook variety she expected. A feeling she thought nearly impossible only a few minutes ago began to overcome her senses. She was cautiously optimistic.
When evening came and Jonna already in bed, Celia finally found some quiet time. She sat at the dining room table and opened the clinic’s enrollment packet. The clinic was partially subsidized through donations and grants with one substantial annual contribution from a large unnamed corporation. While the grants would not subsidize all of Jonna’s treatments, Lymburner had been optimistic that most would be covered. Celia sat back and smiled. Lymburner had bridged a very delicate subject for her. She set the enrollment packet aside and paused a moment to reflect on her relationship with Jonna’s father. If there were a word that could accurately describe how she felt toward Emil and his wife Elizabeth, she did not know what it was. They both exuded a comfort and support level she never expected. Jonna truly had three parents. Now, Jonna would surely need them all.
It was near midnight when Celia turned to the final page of the application. It was a brief questionnaire about Jonna’s habits, the last being about her favorite activities. Celia knew there could be only one answer. She wrote Jonna enjoys drawing on the appropriate line. Her answer only seemed simple.
Chapter 27
August 22, 1992
San Diego, California
“Are you alright?” Elizabeth asked.
Dr. Emil Lundgren shot a quick glance toward his wife and quickly returned his eyes back to the road. They hadn’t spoken a word since they left the party. “Yeah, I guess,” he answered apologetically. “I keep thinking that a birthday party that seemed like a great idea a couple of months ago didn’t turn out that way.”
Elizabeth quickly countered. “Considering the circumstances, I thought it went very well.”
A confused look came across Emil’s face. “Are you kidding?”
“It’s not exactly something I would kid about.”
“You weren’t uncomfortable?”
“Should I have been?”
Emil’s voice cracked. “Well, I certainly felt uneasy. Jonna didn’t pay attention to anyone. Celia just let her sit in the corner all night scribbling on a paper sack. I didn’t see her look up even once. It was as if we weren’t even there!”
Elizabeth bit her tongue, trying hard to hold her response, if even for a moment. She felt her husband’s reaction to Jonna’s behavior an uninformed observation. When Emil first told her of Jonna’s diagnosis, she decided to do her homework. She purchased a book a friend described as a nonprofessional’s handbook for parents of autistic children. For her, it was a clear and concise compendium, not filled with confusing medical jargon, giving her a head start about what one could expect when rearing an afflicted child. Despite his medical background, Emil was apparently not as educated on the subject as she thought. She wanted be polite, but it was a difficult. “Just what did you expect?” she asked quietly.
Emil calmed his voice. “I don’t really know. It’s just that it was a shock for me to see how far Jonna had regressed in just a few weeks. I feel guilty. I keep thinking I should have done something.”
Emil shook his head. “What really fries my ass is that I felt something was amiss when Celia brought Jonna in for her quarterly checkup a couple of months ago. Jonna was lethargic, not as alert as she should have been. She wasn’t reacting to outside influences. When I clapped my hands behind her back, she acted as if nothing had happened. I had her hearing checked a few days later, but it was normal. I still thought something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t identify it. I am ashamed to admit it, but autism never crossed my mind. I never followed up.”
Elizabeth offered a comforting nod. She knew physicians were not perfect. It was impossible for mistakes not to happen, particularly in a clinical atmosphere where hundreds of patients were seen each week. While they weren’t major miscues, her six years as a nurse practitioner for Emil’s clinic taught her that there was no such thing as a mistake-free clinic.
Twenty minutes later, as Emil turned off Highway 5 and pointed toward the Coronado Bridge, Elizabeth remained perplexed that her husband had been so uncharacteristically unprepared for Jonna’s behavior. He rarely left anything to chance, even his free time on weekends which he planned by the hour. Calculated goals were a way of life for him, and she feared Jonna’s unexpected turn of events could put their personal plans on hold. Early in their relationship, they both agreed they would delay the start of their own family. Emil had often shared the troubles and insecurity he felt while growing up with his physician father who rarely shared personal time with his family. He didn’t want to make the same mistake. In her heart, Elizabeth feared they may have waited too long and that Jonna would be the only child she could ever share with her husband. A ruptured ovary a year earlier had rendered her sterile and, while they often talked of adoption, she knew her inability to bear a child had only heightened her husband’s affection for the only natural child he would ever have. Children were important, but her husband more so. Jonna would always be a major part of their life together, but suddenly there was an unpredictable curve in the road. Emil was the consummate perfectionist, and his ability to accept a daughter with an imperfection was still an unknown.
Emil broke his prolonged silence. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “I should have been prepared for what I saw. I have read enough textbooks on the subject, but they were always so impersonal. To have it become subjective rather than objective was a real jolt for me.”
Elizabeth leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. The frequency of her intermittent flashes of anger for her husband’s indiscretions three years earlier had nearly disappeared and, as hard as she tried not to let it happen, tonight’s party had rekindled the fire. She knew her husband was a promiscuous bachelor when they met, and she accepted it. He was a single, affable doctor with a bright future, and it was obvious that finding willing female partners for friendship and sexual pleasures would never be difficult if he chose to do so. A whirlwind courtship led to their marriage two months after they met. Despite his infidelity, their marriage remained intact and Jonna’s birth somehow brought them even closer. They both were part of Celia’s family. The best part was that she and Celia had become friends, not adversaries. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “So what’s next?” she asked.
Emil shook his head. “I don’t really know. All I’ve done so far is to give Celia the name of a clinic here in San Diego that works with autistic children. She took her there yesterday. There are so many issues and knowing where to start is not easy. It’s obvious that I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”