“About midnight,” he answered without looking at her.
“How’s Alfred holding up?”
“It looks like he’s ready for the big day,” he said in a monotone.”
“Did you all have a good time?”
Werner thought back at the evening, but did not answer the question. It was clear to Brigid that this was not a topic he was interested in this morning. “I was just thinking about our appointment today,” he said.
“Appointment?”
“You forgot Pastor Braun?” he said with a sarcastic smirk. “He asked to see us. You want me to tell him the hell with it? What does it hurt to see what he says? We should go because he wants us to. He married us remember? Or would you rather forget?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll go,” she said with sad resignation.
After ten minutes of a silent breakfast, they arrived at Pastor Braun’s residence. He was tall and thin, six foot one inch, and towered over the both of them.
They sat in front of an antique desk before a large window covered with sheer white curtains. Pastor Braun sat behind the desk on a large wood and upholstered chair with a high back. The sun shone through the window and gleamed off Pastor Braun’s snow-white hair, almost giving the appearance of a halo. Brigid sat wringing her hands, a frightened expression on her face. A crucified Jesus hung on the wall next to the window and seemed to be staring down at her.
The pastor spoke. ”First, before we go on, I forgot to ask Werner an important question when we talked.”
“What?”
“Have you visited a doctor yet?”
“No,” they both replied.
The pastor nodded his head and said, “That must be the first step. I know of some women who doctors have helped. Sometimes there are unusual problems of a structural or anatomical nature that can interfere with conception or a pregnancy.”
There go those damn big words again, thought Werner. He said, “I told my wife that we should see a doctor, but she thinks it’s the will of God and that doctors can’t do a damn thing.”
“She may be right, but still a medical problem must be eliminated before you embark on the next step.”
Embark? Yeah, thought Werner. “The next step? What do you mean?” asked Werner.
“Yes, adoption, if it comes to that,” replied the pastor.
Werner and Brigid turned and looked at each other. Their expressions did not change. Werner broke the gaze. Then he shook his head and said, “No way. I’m thinking of my father. He wouldn’t want a bastard to take over the farm.”
“You could be wrong, Werner. If I know your father, he’ll stay out of your decision. But what about you? Would you consider adoption at all?”
“Wait a minute. That’s something I need plenty of time to think about. Right now we got to know if my wife can ever get pregnant.”
Pastor Braun said, “You’re right, Werner. That makes sense for now, but as long as you think in terms of an adopted child as a bastard, I wouldn’t want to help you to adopt. Newborn children are innocent. They didn’t ask to be born. They come into the world with an empty mind. They don’t know their parents until someone picks them up, holds them, feeds them, and comforts them. The people who do that are parents whether or not they produced the child. The Bible teaches that adoption is more than a legal contract. It’s a covenant, a sacred promise that represents the foundation of a personal relationship. You honor God when you adopt a child.
“But, I agree, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. You should take one-step at a time. I urge you to visit a doctor first. I can recommend one in Munich who specializes in problems such as yours. If he can’t do anything to help, then we can concentrate on other matters. Will you go, Brigid, and you, Werner?”
She responded almost before the pastor had finished the sentence. “Yes, I will.” She felt strengthened by the pastor. He was making sense. Then she added, “Werner had the idea about a doctor first. If there’s any chance that I can be helped, I’ll take it.”
Werner’s mouth opened wide. He stared at his wife and nodded his head. The pastor smiled and said, “Good, the doctor’s name is Erwin Bloch. He specializes in obstetrics and gynecology. He’s a professor at the University of Munich and has a large consulting practice. He’s helped a number of women I sent to him. But he’ll be the first to tell you that he can only help a few. I just want you to go to see if there’s any possibility that Brigid can get help. Does that make sense, Werner?”
Werner, realizing that he was the one who had made the suggestion, said, “That’s what I told her before. She’s coming to her senses at last. Yeah, sure, I’ll take her.”
The next morning they wrote to Dr. Bloch and requested an appointment. Within a week, they received his appointment time. Dr. Bloch sent them a detailed history questionnaire. They were unaccustomed to such personal questions but completed the medical history form and sent it back. The thought of a correctable cause for her inability to conceive buoyed her spirits.
CHAPTER 5
Alfred and Helene’s wedding ceremony took place at the church, and Pastor Braun officiated. They held the reception at a banquet room in the hotel. Helene’s father hired several waitresses to serve at the affair. Some of them worked at the beer hall. Thank God, Frieda is not one of them, thought Werner.
After the party, Ludwig came up to Alfred and congratulated him.
“Well, I did it,” said Alfred.
“I’m not surprised,” said Ludwig. “I knew you would. You always jump before you think. What are you going to do for money? I sure as hell know you do not have much. You will have a dozen kids if I know you. You are young. Wait awhile before you start a family. There’s plenty time.”
“Sure,” said Alfred staring past his father with wide eyes. “Gotta go. I don’t want to be late for my own honeymoon.”
CHAPTER 6
The day before Werner and Brigid’s appointment, they took a train to Munich so they could spend some time with Werner’s sister’s family. The next day when they arrived at Dr. Bloch’s office, a file had already been prepared for them, and they were surprised that the doctor had memorized the details of the histories that Brigid and Werner had prepared.
Dr. Bloch was a middle-aged man with a well-trimmed, gray beard and a hawk-like nose. He was a tall, imposing figure who reminded Werner of Alfred’s friend Reinhard. He radiated the kind of confidence that came with knowing that he is a pioneer in the new science of infertility. He had a closed-mouth smile that never left his face as he listened to his patient. Brigid had never gone through such a detailed set of medical questions relating to her gynecological, menstrual, and sexual history. The doctor also ordered blood and urine tests. Then, to Brigid’s surprise, the doctor performed a complete physical examination, rather than a gynecological one as she had expected. After the exam, Dr. Bloch told them to go into his consultation room where they waited, occupying their time by staring at the diplomas on the walls, some written in Latin and others in German, and noting several pictures of Dr. Bloch and other physicians, all wearing their obligatory white jackets. On one wall was a large bookcase filled with medical books and journals. The desk was bare except for Brigid’s chart, which a nurse had placed in front of Dr. Bloch’s large high-backed chair.
Dr. Bloch arrived after a short time. He had the same closed-mouth smile and started talking even before he sat down. “I believe I have a good idea why you’ve been unable to conceive,