The only other activity we could discern in the home took place each afternoon in what must have been the former Drawing-room. The Cats were often called to Attend, but what it was they did therein I could not tell, as the door was kept closed at all times. The one Glimpse I caught was of a pair of brightly coloured Stools, between which a length of Cord had been tied, though what use such an arrangement could be to the Cats I could not begin to Imagine. And yet, in that Sight, I sensed that some further Demand, some greater Expectation, was made of us, the Animal residents of Mr Bisset’s Demesne, than simply to Live, and Frolic, and wander about his Grounds—indeed, that there was yet to be revealed some dread Command with which we all must Comply or else Forfeit the many accommodations made for us in this his House. This feeling, during all my first Time there, was very closely associated with these Doors, and I was quite convinced that, once they were to be Opened, all would be Revealed to me, for Better or for Worse.
And so one day it was. It began much like any other, in that a welcome Meal was all laid out upon Table and trough, such that both Sam and I were soon sated, and ready to set out upon our daily Rounds about the estate. We were accustomed to seeing Mr Bisset strolling upon the large stone Patio that adjoined his home, and there indeed he Was, but so strangely Dressed and Appointed that we scarce Knew him. He was attired in a complete suit, cap-à-pie, of Black silk, along with a Waistcoat of red Satin, a tall Hat of Beaver fur, and a great bow Tie of some checked material. He looked for all the world like a Showman in want of a Show, and indeed this appearance was to be borne out in a moment far more absolute than I was then capable of grasping. He strode into the Hall, and stood before the twin Doors of the occluded Room, then Bowed, most deeply, in my Direction. I did the same in Return, having many times observed such Formalities, and then stood in Awe as the Doors of Perception were most suddenly thrown Ope, revealing, no concatenation of Cats but rather this simple Tableau: the twenty-six letters of the Alphabet, and the eleven numerals from 0 to 10, which comprise the Alpha-numeric Range of these our Numbers. In that sight, I beheld at once the double path of my Destiny, for by these Means I might give Utterance to my Will, and yet with these same Characters Mr Bisset could express His, and by them I would—as I am even as I write the very words you see before you—henceforth be Bound.
5
In the time of the Spanish Inquisition—a History with which I later became Acquainted by these same means—it was customary, before Torturing those accused of Heresy, to show to them the Instruments of their Agony. Many were so overcome by the mere Thought of these implements being used upon them that they at once Confessed to whatever charges the Inquisitor might name, heedless of how by every Word they were thus Damned. Well I knew that Mr Bisset possessed the power of commanding Animals to do his will, but the Means by which he obtained this power were yet a Mystery. The charm of his voice, his pleasant outward demeanour, the food he prepared and set before us, these were surely the chief Rewards that he employed, but what were his Punishments? As these letters and numbers swirled before me, I Resolved, if it were Possible, never to discover what it was that my new Master would do if I did not follow his Commands. And, of course, that was what all the other Animals before me had doubtless done, out of the same Conviction I presently felt, that such a discovery must be as Terrible as the rewards were Pleasant—and that would have been Terrible indeed.
Our routine, which began that Day, never varied. Mr Bisset would point to a card upon which was written a letter or number. He would then Name this card, using several slight indications together: a motion with his eye to the proper card, a pattern of clicks (say, one click and two clucks), and then a third sign, which was a common Word in English. These words did not begin with, or in many cases even include, the letter in Question, but were the sort of words one could easily use in a sentence without drawing any special Attention to them. Words such as ‘Presently’ or ‘Shall’ or ‘Receive’ or ‘Answer’—each of them a cue for a letter, such as J, O, H and N (which are in fact just the letters they represented). He would vary the signs he used, sometimes clicking quietly just under his breath, sometimes employing the words in a Sentence, such as ‘Presently you shall receive your Answer.’ At first the signs were always accompanied by his pointing out the correct letters on each card, after which I would approach the shelf on which they were laid, and pick up each in my Mouth, then drop it on a chalked square on the floor, in the order in which they were Demanded. Once I had perfectly memorised this routine, he would gradually withdraw his other Signs, employing his Eye only. It was remarkable to me that I nearly always Understood his intent, a Phenomenon I can only account for by Supposing that these oft-repeated Routines had established a sort of Intuitive understanding between us.
This whole system, I soon realised, was designed to enable him to carry on with whatever Patter he liked, all the while sending me a clear set of Signals as to the Cards I was to choose. If there was ever any doubt, a brief but imposing glance in the direction of the card wanted, was all that was needed. Which it was unlikely ever to be, for we rehearsed for at least an Hour every day, for the better part of three Months, at the end of which time I had so Completely attuned myself to this Procedure that I could perform it quite without Hesitation or even Thought of any kind. Indeed, whenever Sam chanced to use one of the words that were my signals, I was placed in great Distress, until I could relieve it by fetching the proper letter. By this means, quite by accident, I found that I was able to communicate with Sam, and he with me; he quickly made up a set of smaller cards by hand-writing letters and numbers on squares of pasteboard and, by practice, managed to learn the same Signals my master had Designated for them. Sam’s delight in our Discovery was unbounded, and each Night after Mr Bisset had gone to Rest, he would run me through my Letters.
All this, of course, while it gave me great facility in Spelling any word upon Command, made me no more enlightened about their Sound or Meaning than a Blind man who had learnt his way among the Shelves of a Library; a great Feast of the World’s knowledge was set before me, and yet I could not partake of so much as a single Crumb. My Benefactor at once set to work to correct what he regarded as a most unkind oversight by demonstrating for me the Sounds of each letter and word, and how they came together to make human Speech. He would speak, then spell his meanings, and follow this by spelling out a Word in silence, and have me puzzle out the whole. Well I recall the very first word I learned, and it will come as no surprise to you, my Patient Reader, that this word was S-A-M.
We had to be careful, of course, that I did not vary from my Routine with Mr Bisset, or give him any Idea that I in fact had come to understand the Letters I had previously arranged in ignorance. And yet it did Amuse me to see the sorts of things he had me Spell—given Names were most common among them (John, James, Susan, Alice, Charles and so forth, in great variety), along with words that were meant to answer some simple question, such as Y-E-S, N-O, P-E-R-H-A-P-S and N-E-V-E-R. There could be no more doubt that I was intended for a Show, and a show whose chief Attraction would be to display my seeming-knowledge of the Names of those in the Audience, and my seeming-answers to their Questions.
I must admit that, despite the monotonous nature of these exercises, I took a better Conceit of Myself from this time, imagining the Fame of being such a Notable performer—but then, of course, I thought back to my Prize at the Fair, and how it had been given to my Owner rather than to Me. After all, would it be Man or the Pig who would most surprise the Crowd?
At the same time, with Sam as my tutor, I was embarking on a Course of Study that, though Elementary for any Human child, was Extraordinary for a Pig. Among the books in the Study in Mr Bisset’s house, Sam found a tattered copy of the