Finally, Bryant asked directly, “Is this the right girl he should choose?” He was told that she was. Because of their feelings for one another, as well as because of the confirmation in the readings, Rose and Bryant married on April 17, 1927.
On most occasions, Edgar Cayce would not specify whether or not a certain individual was the appropriate marriage partner. As was often the case, when a twenty-five-year-old woman asked whether or not her boyfriend was the man she was supposed to marry, Cayce replied, “He would be one man to marry!” (3834-1). Another woman asked, “Have I met the man I should marry?” She was told, “You have met several you can marry!” (3180-2). Apparently, we all have more than one soul mate—an individual with whom we have been together previously and could create a positive relationship in the present. Later, Rose and Bryant learned that they had been married to various other individuals in the past as well; their relationship with one another in the present was simply one possibility. However, it was a possibility that gave each the opportunity to be a helpmate to the other and provide for the better development of both individuals.
When a woman asked about the possibility of marriage and meeting her soul mate, Cayce told her, “It is not necessarily true that any special individual may be called a mate, as there have been many . . .” (2487-2). On another occasion, in 1942, a young woman wanted to know if there was a person other than her fiancé whom she might marry instead and be “as happy, or happier.” She was told, “. . . we might find twenty-five or thirty such, if you chose to make it so! It is what you make it!” (1981-2). He went on to tell her that there were definitely some things from the past that needed to be “worked out” between herself and her husband-to-be and they might best be worked out in the structure provided by marriage. Sooner or later she would have to face these issues. Cayce advised her that she might as well face them now, rather than putting them off for some future time period.
A thirty-two-year-old sheet metal worker and his wife were having problems on and off again. During the course of their marriage, they had even discussed divorce and custody issues related to their child. In an effort to improve their relationship, the husband obtained a reading. The information made it clear that they had been together before, had failed, and were being given the opportunity to help one another succeed in the present. The man inquired, “What can I do to make our marriage happier and harmonious?” He was told:
Act toward the wife, or thine own activities, as ye would like her or others to act toward thee. Ask no more than ye give. Demand no more than ye allowed, or allow, to be demanded of thee. Marriage, such an association, is a oneness of purpose. Unless there is the oneness of purpose, there can be no harmony. This can be accomplished, not of self alone—for remember, you made a mighty mess in the experience before this—ye suffered for it! Better make it up now or it’ll be ten times worse the next time! 5001-1
From Cayce’s perspective, the purpose of soul mates, marriage, or any lifelong commitment to another person is primarily to enable each individual to grow, to evolve, and to assist one another in spiritual development. To be sure, people are drawn together because of their joint experiences in the past, but what individuals do about those past-life experiences, an influence which Cayce equated to “karmic memory,” is entirely dependent upon the activities and choices of the present. The readings suggest that each individual has multiple soul mates with whom she or he can make a successful relationship in the present. Obviously, each choice leads to different potentials and a lifetime of experiences, and some choices are ultimately better than others.
In 1940, in another example from the Cayce files (2205-3), a woman was acquainted with four different men, all of whom had expressed interest in being with her. A math teacher by profession, she wanted to know which of the four would make the best marriage candidate. She was told that it was incorrect to think that there was only ONE individual who would make her ideal mate. In fact, Cayce refused to tell her to keep away from this one or to be joined together with that one. Instead, he confirmed that in different periods in the earth she had previously been with all four of her suitors, “some as helpers, some as hinderers.” He suggested that she needed to watch her dreams for they had provided her with “warnings” about some of the men. As to which choice to make in the present, she needed to decide for herself which one would better enable her to become a better person, to express a spiritual ideal, and to live a life of service.
The readings state that individuals are drawn to one another for a purposeful experience. Essentially, that purpose is both to resolve issues and challenges that were created in the past as well as to continue any positive interactions that were begun with one another. Good or bad, our relationships pick up exactly where we left them off. There is a continuity of former patterns, purposes, and ideals. The pull we may feel toward certain individuals in our lives occurs at the level of the soul and, according to Cayce, whether those former past-life experiences were for “weal or woe” does not prevent the present-day attraction. Ultimately, whether or not it is best for two individuals to elevate their attraction to a lifelong relationship should be based upon something greater than physical attraction and desire.
On numerous occasions, the Cayce readings advised an individual against getting married to a specific person. In spite of the attraction a couple might feel for one another, if marriage was discouraged, invariably the reason was because the union would not be best for the spiritual development of either or both individuals. In other instances, marriage was advised against because of timing issues. In one case in 1937, parents of a fourteen-year-old girl were told that their daughter would have the inclination to marry very early in life because she had been an old maid in her previous experience. The girl was encouraged not to follow through on her innate desire because it would become a disaster (1406-1). On other occasions, individuals were told not to marry until they had made a clearer choice about their life’s direction. Apparently, each direction contained various possibilities of potential spouses.
A twenty-year-old woman asked whether or not she should marry her present boyfriend, and the response was “never” (1754-1). Cayce predicted that the relationship would inevitably lead to separation and divorce. He stated that she had known him in her most recent lifetime, during the American Revolution. At the time, around the area of Williamsburg, Virginia, the two had begun a relationship that had been both disappointing and happy at times. In the present, because there were some unresolved issues from the past, the woman felt an emotional desire to become even closer to him. The reading advised against it. Cayce warned, “It would be best never to marry him—thy ideals will be destroyed!” She was encouraged to maintain their friendship and to learn what they could from the other, but not to marry.
Since desire, attraction, and love might all originate at the level of the soul, how can individuals distinguish between a potential long-term relationship and one in which there is simply an attraction in order to work through something from the past? Cayce suggested that true love was ultimately best expressed as “giving in action,” where one was not concerned with what was received in return. Whereas desire is a feeling or a condition in which an individual wants to draw someone or something to him- or herself, true love is an expression of emotion, energy, or activity that goes out to others without thought of what self receives in return. Ultimately, the purpose of all relationships is spiritual development. For that reason, individuals wishing to discern between a karmic relationship or a purposeful present-day union might ask themselves, “Does this relationship make me a better person? Does it challenge and stretch me? Does it encourage me to become a more balanced, giving person? Does this relationship bring out the very best within me?”
In 1937, a twenty-nine-year-old man asked Edgar Cayce to describe the best motives for marriage (1173-11). The reading stated that there was a vast difference between physical desire and mental/spiritual cooperation and companionship. If a marriage was based primarily upon desire and physical gratification, it could not succeed. Instead, a successful relationship had to contain a joint spiritual prompting that united the couple in service to one another as well as to God. Cayce believed that a healthy relationship included physical love, but it was much more; spiritual ideals and mental goals and aspirations were equally important.
Too often, individuals