Introduction
Chapter One
FIRST PLANT THE TREE
Chapter Two
MAKING SENSE OF SCRIPTURE, SAINTS, AND SAVIORS
Chapter Three
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ARGUE WITH GOD
Chapter Four
THE RULES SOMETIMES GET IN THE WAY
Chapter Five
SPIRITUALITY SOFTENS THE CONTRADICTIONS
Chapter Six
BETTER THAN THE MIRACLES
Chapter Seven
THE REAL PEOPLE IN SCRIPTURE WERE SPIRITUAL PRAGMATISTS
Chapter Eight
EVEN ABRAHAM LEARNED TO INCLUDE EVERYBODY
Chapter Nine
THE MAN WHO INVENTED GOD
Chapter Ten
GOD GETS IT THAT WE’RE FLAWED
Chapter Eleven
FROM INSECURITY TO INTERMARRIAGE
Chapter Twelve
“THE KING SHALL NOT HAVE TOO MANY HORSES”
Chapter Thirteen
WHO’S TO SAY WHAT’S WRONG OR RIGHT?
Chapter Fourteen
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ARE ALL YOU NEED
Acknowledgments
THIS BOOK IS WRITTEN to offer answers, direction, and validation to the many thoughtful people who feel excluded or judged because they prefer a spiritual life over what the organized religions are offering. I am a longtime rabbi, a product of institutional faith and structured liturgies. Some time ago, I came to the conviction that the church/synagogue/mosque system has essentially failed to motivate or repair the world. I realized that a critical, imaginative look at scripture actually reveals that God does not play favorites and neither should we.
In 2013, a landmark report issued by the Pew Research Center declared that Americans are more “un-churched” and less affiliated with institutions of organized religion than at any time. This was the latest charted indication of the trend toward disenfranchisement, especially among younger people, from theological centers and ideas. At the same time, all the denominations report a precipitous rise in intermarriage (over 60 percent in the Jewish community) and blended families, further diluting cultural and doctrinal differences or adding different characteristics. That same year, the New York Times reported a 45 percent interdenominational intermarriage rate among Christians (to other Christian faith sect members or to Jews and Muslims), as well as the “relatively high rates of intermarriage of American Muslims.”
The regulated religious agencies feel threatened even as there is a striking decline in people seeking to become priests, ministers, imams, and rabbis. The Catholic Church, for example, is so short-handed that recruitment literature for priestly careers is regularly found in pews and, all-too-often, untrained deacons or lay volunteers are substituting for professionally educated and trained clergy in the church and other denominations. This is creating a further disconnect, in terms of trust and performance, between members and clerics in churches, temples, and mosques. In the latter culture, sharia judges and professors are often being recruited to fill in for missing imams.
At the same time, previously rigid barriers are being broken in our society, notably in the recognition of women as clergy and, particularly, the legalization of same-sex marriage and the ordination of openly gay clergy people. This has created a deep polarization between socially conservative and liberal elements of our nation, triggering a strong backlash of superciliousness on the part of those on the right when it comes to issues such as abortion rights, prayer in schools, and whether or not this is “a Christian country.”
Those on the liberal side of the spectrum often feel ambivalent, rebellious, or just left out. They don’t want others to tell them they are “damned” if they do or don’t do this or that. They don’t want to have their parents’ faith tradition prevent them from marrying whomever they wish to marry—regardless of religion or heritage. They are disillusioned by what they feel is the increasingly sectarian nature of politics. They resent the arrogance of rabbis who marginalize women liturgically and demean Jewish denominations that are not “Torah-true”; they are weary of Christian fundamentalists; and they are wary of the evangelists. They are understandably frightened of Islamic terrorism, but don’t wish to fall into the facile route of stereotyping Muslims. They want inclusiveness and tolerance and they are turning to mysticism, ranging from the creation of post-denominational prayer centers to meditation and yoga practice to Eastern worship ideology and/or community service in place of routinized ritual and obeisance. Even those who identify as atheists want to feel connected to something.
It is my position, after over thirty-five years in the rabbinate and in social services, that what these people want is normal. They want answers about the mysteries of human life that are not canned or even discriminatory; they want a God that doesn’t judge people but for the goodness of their souls. They want to find some kindness and consolation in scriptural texts. They look at the legacy of religiously driven global war and at the financial, ethical, and sexual scandals that are rampant in organized religion, and they want something more hopeful, more tolerant, and more healing for themselves and for their children.
They need a scrupulous, honest guide to spirituality that respects the traditions but does not regard them as necessarily binding or inviolate in their lives. They want guidance in order to share their spiritual yearnings with others that make some sense against the sectarian chaos and conflict that prevails in this country. They want gentle rituals that flow within nature and that they can actually understand. They don’t want to live in a world of “all good” or “all evil” because they are sophisticated and recognize that life is nuanced. They want sensible answers, and they don’t want to feel guilty because they have questions, such as: