Instead of dwelling on physical, mental, or circumstantial limitations, I will focus on God’s larger world and all it has to offer.
Instead of criticizing the things that are wrong or lacking among my friends, family members, and healthcare team, I will acknowledge and appreciate their concern, love, and fundamental desire for my well-being.
Instead of allowing fear to take root and grow wild within me, I will open myself to the protecting presence of God, going forward again with courage and confidence.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I will not give power to negative thoughts.
March 4
“It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.”
EDITH NESBITT
It used to be that we did pretty much what we wanted, when we wanted. Apart from family and financial responsibilities, we were able to “rip and run” as we pleased and to schedule our activities by whim.
Those days may not be gone forever, but unfortunately we haven’t experienced them in a while. Chronic illness has reined us in sharply, and on some days pain hobbles us to the point of immobility.
What we’ve learned to do, in response to chronic illness, is to listen carefully to our bodies’ signals and messages. Through meditation, body scans, stretching exercises, yoga, and similar techniques, we “check in, tune in, and listen in” and then act on what we learn.
As a primary example, we’re becoming increasingly familiar with our daily body rhythms. We’re discovering when our energy levels are generally highest and lowest, and how to plan activities accordingly.
In my own case, I now know that my best hours are from midmorning to mid-afternoon. Then I can expect a letdown, followed by a surge after dinner. So I’ve learned to make the most of the high-energy times, and to accept and respect the low-energy ones.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
When I seek and follow my body’s guidance, then I am at my best.
March 5
“Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”
JANE AUSTEN
Those close to us can’t help knowing what we’ve been going through; it would be impossible for us to hide the effects of the disease. Sometimes, however, we try to smile through the pain, hoping they’ll think we’re doing fine. At other times we shut ourselves away in order to spare our loved ones the anguish they so obviously feel.
Most of the time, though, we’re honest and open about our symptoms because we know how important it is for all of us to be as accepting as possible. The problem is that we frequently feel terribly guilty for causing our family members so much heartache.
We feel guilty? Why guilt, of all things? It isn’t as if we brought the illness on ourselves. It isn’t as if we can “will” ourselves back to health. It isn’t as if we’re responsible for the ways our loved ones react to the illness, or that we have any control over their reactions.
The point is that there are quite enough weighty issues in our life these days, and most of them are as unavoidable as they are unfathomable. Guilt, however, is another story entirely. It is one burden we don’t need to pick up and carry around.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
Guilt is bad medicine.
March 6
“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.”
DANIEL FRANçOIS ESPRIT AUBER
“It’s tough getting old, isn’t it?” That’s what we hear, all too often, when we get into a conversation with someone about our illness. Whether we are twenty-seven or seventy-two, we usually respond by smiling and agreeing. And for the moment that seems to take the focus off us and put the matter to rest.
For most of us, there is little purpose in challenging such a remark. Whether such a remark is tossed out blithely (as it usually is) or taken seriously, what really matters is our own beliefs about illness and age.
Although some illnesses are age-related, many are not. In my case, I see illness and age as entirely separate issues, and I refuse to let illness “make me” act, think, or feel old.
Moreover, I’m not about to start “acting my age” just because I’m ill, nor will I allow my age to set me apart from others, younger or older. Illness notwithstanding, I believe that age has more to do with attitude and inner spirit than numbers, actuarial or otherwise. In short, I’m as young or as old as I choose to be.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
The substance and quality of my life have very little to do with the year of my birth.
March 7
“Fear makes men ready to believe the worst.”
QUINTUS CURTIUS RUFUS
You’ll be going back to work in a couple of weeks, and you’re more nervous than on that day five years ago when you were first hired. You are not afraid that you can’t do the work; it’s not that. Nor are you afraid, as you were back then, that your performance won’t match the promises on your resume.
What does concern you is how your co-workers will react to your illness and behave toward you. Will they treat you as before? Or have some of them fallen prey to such myths as: Cancer makes workers less efficient. Cancer is contagious. Cancer is a death sentence.
Here again, as with so many aspects of illness, careful planning and clear communication can smooth the way, solve any actual problems, and forestall potential new ones.
If you haven’t kept up contact during your treatment and recovery—a few phone calls will ease your co-workers’ concerns about you and give you the chance to dispel any misconceptions they may have—once you’re back at work, you may want to schedule a get-together with fellow employees. This get-together will allow them (and you) to air concerns, correct wrong ideas, and decide the best ways to work together again.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I will ground my thoughts in reality, imagining the best rather than the worst.
March 8
“Knowledge is of two kinds: we know a subject ourselves or we know where we can find information upon it.”
SAMUEL JOHNSON
I decided, not long ago, that it was time to rearrange my bookshelves. I made excellent progress until I reached the shelf reserved for books, pamphlets, and materials pertaining to my various illnesses, namely heart disease, cancer, lupus, alcoholism, and osteoarthritis.
As I looked through the material, I was immediately struck by the rapid pace of change in diagnostic criteria, treatment approaches, and technology. The newspaper clippings, in particular, showed me how quickly a so-called medical breakthrough can be set aside or repudiated.
Browsing further, it became