The first gallery features a series drawn in black magic marker on white canvas. It’s entitled Love Forever. I hear a little boy say, “Kowai!” (“That’s scary!”) Is he referring to the centipede-like figures in Morning Waves? Perhaps he’s afraid of the repetition of eyes in The Crowd. At any rate, he gets it. He feels Kusama’s phobia, the fear that led to the work.
The next room is white. It’s filled with giant tulips dotted with large red circles. This is an experiential work entitled With All My Love for the Tulips, I Pray Forever. Lilia is delighted with the surreal space. She enjoys the colors and the giant tulips. I feel as if I’m in a Tim Burton film. We take several pictures, then move on.
Next we look at My Eternal Soul. In this painting, many of the figures that appeared in the black-and-white series return. This time they are in vivid pinks, oranges, yellows, and blues. For a Westerner like me, these colors and images seem joyful. In Japan, where mothers hesitate to dress their children in bright clothes, such hues are unsettling.
Lilia likes the colors. She pauses before the bright paintings. She reads the somewhat baffling titles. Fluttering Flags applies to red banner-like images. This is fairly straightforward. However, the vibrant mood of a pink canvas covered with lushly lashed eyes, a spoon, a purse, a shoe, and women’s profiles contrasts with its somber title, Death Is Inevitable.
My favorite paintings are the self-portraits toward the end of the exhibit. As a foreigner in Japan, I can relate to In a Foreign Country of Blue-Eyed People. This one recalls Kusama’s years in New York in the 1960s. She was a rare Japanese artist among Americans. Red dots cover the face, suggesting disease. Or dis-ease?
Lilia is partial to Gleaming Lights of the Souls. This is another experiential piece. We are invited to enter a small room with mirror-covered walls. Within the walls, dots of light change colors. It gives us the feeling of being among stars or planets in outer space.
Finally, we watch a short documentary about Kusama. There are no subtitles, but Lilia can see the artist at work. She sees the assistant who eases her in and out of her chair. The assistant also helps Kusama to prepare her canvases.
“See?” I want to tell her. “We all need a hand from time to time.” But I don’t want to disturb her concentration. I’m silent and still, letting her take in whatever she can by herself.
On the way home, I feel pleasantly exhausted, but hopeful. The trip was not as arduous as I’d anticipated. I’m also encouraged by Kusama herself, by the fact that she’s found a way to make a living—and to stay alive—through art, in spite of everything.I’m not pushing my daughter toward a career in the fine arts. As a writer, I know how tough it can be. I don’t necessarily expect Lilia to become famous. She doesn’t need to earn money through her drawings or paintings. However, I feel sure that having art in her life will bring her joy and satisfaction. It will enrich her and give her a means of expression.
I’m hoping that with today’s expedition, I’ve pried the world open just a little bit wider for my daughter—and for myself. I start planning future trips in my head. Next, the two of us can go to the islands of the Inland Sea.
4
To celebrate Lilia’s graduation from junior high school, she and I are taking a mother-daughter trip—this time overnight—to Naoshima, an island off the coast of Shikoku.
Naoshima was once used primarily as a site to dump industrial waste. Now it is full of art museums. One of the museums has one of Claude Monet’s famous water lily paintings. Tourists come from all over the world.
Monet admired Japan, and his art is very popular here. His garden in France was designed to look like a Japanese garden. In turn, a garden modeled after the one in France has been constructed farther south in Shikoku, but the painting is on Naoshima. There are no bridges connecting Naoshima to Shikoku. The only way to get there is by ferry. If it’s foggy or the waves are high, the ferry doesn’t run.
I have made a reservation for us at the Benesse House Museum. Each of the ten rooms in the hotel has original artwork and a view of the Seto Inland Sea.
I’ve been planning for us to go by bus, taxi, and then ferry, and to be met by the hotel shuttle bus. This way, Lilia and I will be able to chat in sign language en route. I’ll be able to read and relax. Unfortunately, a light drizzle is predicted for the day of our trip. Dealing with a wheelchair in the rain is never fun. Although I have never driven to the ferry port in Takamatsu before, I decide to go by car.
5
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