– I told you that because passion swept over me like a wave and I was stirred up in you. It’s not just sex, it’s real passion. And you reduced it to mechanics. Without feelings, this is fitness, not sex, – I said, even more rudely than I expected.
– Well, punish me! – she said with a defiant smile.
– There is such a desire…
– Do you have any other desires? Or only maim?
– Maiming – certainly not our methods. And the wishes you make, such as years not to find. – I looked away towards the window after these words. I saw in her eyes that I had greatly amused her self-esteem by saying this.
– What did I say that hurt? Everything is as it is! Don’t pretend to be offended and humiliated!
– Sit down, let’s start the session.
Vita kissed me tenderly, and we started the session. The tension between us eased.
In order for the hypnosis sessions to have the desirable effect, I first needed to teach Vita to develop intuition. This meant that she was capable of deeper hypnosis. Gradually, however, I began to wonder how well her intuitive abilities were developed without my efforts. “If it goes on like this, I’ll be useless to her.”
The session meant that Vita, with her eyes open, would find the object I had hidden in the room. At first, she sat in a chair with her eyes closed, concentrating on the task. Five minutes later, she opened her eyes, trying to figure out what I had hidden and where. Then she walked around the office, examining it. Her glance fell on various objects. Deep down, I really wanted her to find what I had hidden. I wanted to be proud of her. After about half an hour, Vita opened the bookcase and gave me a meaningful look, then took out one of the books on the shelf, slowly walked over to me and put the book on my lap. She did it! I didn’t hide my admiration.
– Let’s do it again, – she asked.
I realized that the sessions did not tire her. On the contrary, they inspire her and give her strength, even calm her down. It turned out that our sessions became a necessity for her.
I decided that the next step would be more difficult. Now I did not hide objects, Vita had to guess among the many numbers written on the board, the one that I had guessed. I wrote the numbers in random order, put down the marker, turned to her, and gave her the command to start. She looked from me to the board and back again. I wondered if she could handle this difficult task. Half an hour later she got up, picked up a sponge, and wiped all the numbers off the board except ninety. Amazingly, she had guessed right again! How does she do it?! Her pleased, sly look always had the same effect on me: I want her!
There are women who you just get up and leave after having sex with. There are women with whom you want to talk after sex. And here you can very easily fall into the trap. We were lying on a small sofa in my office. Yes, I must be a pretty risky man to allow myself to do this in the workplace. But we only live once and we must not deprive ourselves of such pleasures.
– You are the best! Did I tell you that?
– No. Someone else.
– Don’t be sarcastic! Why do I feel so good with you?
– Because I’m the best!
– Well, that makes sense. This is how karma brings two great people together.
– Yeah, you never know when or where karma’s going to fuck you, – she can joke like no one else.
She left and I had an hour of free time. I sat at my desk and tried to make up an anamnesis, not knowing what to write. At one point, I thought, “Crazy, crazy Vita…”
A week later, Vita invited me to work for her. She worked at the department of the University where she studied. Her desk was littered with books, notebooks, copybooks, and a lot of notes. Among the papers I saw a printout of the layout of the chakras of the human body.
– Chakras?
– The same Maslow pyramid. It is interesting.
– More details?
– Basic needs always come first. But the attitude to the world and the relationship with this very world is different for everyone. I can even guess at what position your chakras are.
– In what way?
– To my mind, all you’re doing is eating, drinking, and having sex. However, the latter is my merit. In general, your relationship with the world is complicated. You have problems with society. Your brain is well developed. I see that you are tired of the world, Horus. This is not good. What do you want to prove in this world and to whom? After all, the three highest ones are a clear way to prove something to the world. I look at you and I’m amazed! You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you’re cool! It seems to me that you live in a world that you are fighting, but life does not involve fighting.
– Thank you. But you don’t know much about my life, and it’s better that you don’t know many things.
– No matter what I find out, I won’t think any worse of you. And trust me; I won’t get any closer, any closer than you let me.
– But you won’t let me get any closer. Am I right?
– Yes. Do you know why I was sent to you? To teach you something important in your life! It’s just that you don’t understand it, but it’ll come to you later, – she winked, and I realized that she was changing the subject.
You always look at a person from a different angle when you find him at work. Vita knew exactly what kind of psychiatrist I was, but I had no idea what kind of work she was. Today I saw how her eyes burned. Looking at her, I saw her disappearing from the real world, plunging into the world of DNA.
Many things about this girl were strange and new to me. For example, I am not surprised that by the age of thirty she has no family, this is just easy to explain, but it is strange that she is thinking about such global issues by her age. Sometimes, I’m afraid of her madness, because you can’t imagine where it will lead her. Perhaps I am crazy, since I understand it in portions. If it wasn’t for Vita, I would never have thought about what I was trying to prove in life and to whom. She was right about that. But what? And to whom? There are things that she sees through, and that scares me. No one likes to be open, and no one likes to have his soul searched without permission.
What I admire about Vita is that she remains true to herself under all circumstances. She is true to herself even when she is unfaithful to others. But she is a great lover and interlocutor, and this overrides the other disadvantages. At least, that’s what I thought at first.
Chapter 4
I took a vacation and went to rest. Women need a joint vacation, because they go crazy alone, and men only benefit from a hermit’s rest. For a month, I forgot about work, forgot about everyone. I walked, drank, slept and so on in a circle. Fleeting women brightened my leisure. This is the treatment I would prescribe for everyone. But there is an important point and a significant “but” – you need to know when to end your preventive degradation. Otherwise, such treatment will only lead to the disintegration of the personality.
The vacation flew by as if it had never happened. But I managed to extend my summer into early autumn. Having had a good rest, I returned to Moscow with renewed strength, where my neurotics were already waiting for me. I love my patients at least for the fact that their problems bring me good money, which I drink, walk and thus solve my problems. Sometimes I think about the meaning of my existence, but then I pour myself into a glass of rum, and then I don’t think about anything else. I planted a tree, raised my son and daughter, and built a house. I have completed my tasks, and now it is my turn