Tommy: Do you believe in Satan?
Gina: Of course.
Tommy: Do you think you can prove the existence of Satan?
Gina: Well, I’m not sure why that would be necessary . . .
Tommy: I’m just wondering: if your proof of God’s existence is based on your experience with God then is it also necessary for you to experience Satan in order for you to know that Satan exists?
Gina: If you are suggesting that I have been possessed then I don’t appreciate such a . . . what did you call it Dr. York?
Professor (that’s me.): I think you are intimating that Tommy is attempting to engage in an ad hominem argument. That is an attack against the person as opposed to their argument. We agreed, at the beginning of class, that out of respect for one another we would avoid such attacks.
Gina: Right.
Tommy: No, that’s not what I’m doing. I was just asking how you can know that a supernatural being like Satan exists if in order to know that God exists you must have a personal experience with God.
Gina: Well, I know Satan exists because I know God exists.
Professor: A sort of knowledge via association?
Gina: Sure. If I believe that God exists then I have to believe the things God says, and Scripture makes it clear that Satan exists. It seems pretty obvious.
Tommy: It does to me, too. So, since we are incapable of proving, at least to my satisfaction, that God exists, do you think it’s possible to prove that Satan exists, therein requiring me, via association, as the good doctor put it, to believe in God? I mean, Christians are always warning one another to be on the lookout for the Devil, so if I had an experience with Satan, or if I were possessed by Satan, then I would have to believe in God, right?
Gina: You may be possessed for even thinking that way.
Professor: Now Gina, as quick and witty as that comment was, and everyone here knows how much I appreciate “quick and witty,” that was an engagement with the very tactic you were accusing Tommy of employing.
Tommy: Thanks Doc. Look, all I’m saying is that you Christians are seriously worried about Satan tempting you to do bad things, and possessing you, and all that, right?
Gina: Right.
Tommy: So, it must not be that difficult to come under Satan’s influence, right?
Gina: No . . . I don’t think so.
Tommy: Do you think Satan would come into my heart if I asked him to?
Gina (who hesitantly answers such an oft-putting question): Yes. But why would—
Tommy: Because then I would know! Isn’t that genius? Then I would know that God exists, because I know that Satan exists! It would so be worth it. Totally worth it. So, what do I have to do to have an experience with Satan?
Gina: I think you’re having one.
Professor: Gina.
Gina: Sorry. (This next comment is directed toward me.) It’s just that, the more I think about it, the more I believe I am quite fond of ad hominem arguments.
Professor: Actually, me too. I have always insisted that you should not be able to separate the argument from the person attempting to embody the argument, but for the sake of common courtesy, you are not allowed to use them. They must be saved for political campaigns and graduate school.
Gina: Fair enough. (Turning back to Tommy.) I don’t know. I’ve never tried to summon the Devil, but it seems that all you have to do is want him to rule your life and he will do it.
Tommy: So, what do I do, I mean, specifically?
Gina: I said “I don’t know.” How would I know? I guess just ask him to possess you and he won’t be able resist.
Tommy: Then I’ll do it. Fifty times a day for as long as it takes. Doc, can you schedule an exorcism if necessary?
Professor: Hold on a second. Let it be clear that I am neither approving nor condoning this experiment—.
Tommy: Oh, come on. I have the opportunity to know that God exists, and if God is who everyone says he is then he can rid the Devil from me and then I’m golden. I’m doing it. And then, when it doesn’t happen, when this demonic being that your tradition feels like it has to constantly pray to God in order to resist does not possess someone wanting to be possessed, then I will know that this is all nonsense. (Extending his hand to Gina.) Come on, shake on it. I’ll risk possession in order to know that what you claim to know is knowable. (He thinks about that for a second.) What did I just say? Was that right?
Professor: Sounded good. It was very poetic. Nicely done.
Tommy: Thanks. And if I don’t end up being possessed, you have to admit that I’m right, and no one can know whether or not God exists, and that actually this may be an argument against the existence of God. Deal?
Gina: No . . . no, wait, that’s crazy, because Satan knows why you’re doing it, and since Satan doesn’t want you to believe in God then he won’t make himself known to you.
Tommy: Let me get this straight: you can be possessed by Satan because you believe in God, but because I don’t believe in God I can’t be possessed by Satan? Sounds like you’re the one getting the raw end of the deal. (Touché Tommy, touché.)
Gina: No, you can be possessed . . . you can, all right? You just won’t be. I’m just saying that because of your reasons for it, Satan will not do anything to prove his existence.
Tommy: Oh, this is so typical. First you claim you have to beg to keep Satan away, but yet if I go looking for him he disappears. Maybe I should be an exorcist.
At this point the conversation fell into a stalemate. We reached an impasse by which neither student was capable of convincing the other of the superiority of their reasoning skills. If I had been keeping score I would have awarded Tommy the victory. Gina, I imagine, would protest, claiming that Tommy may have won this battle, but he would surely lose the war.
After a day or two I forgot about their argument. A few weeks went by and, for some reason, I suddenly remembered Tommy’s proposal. I asked him, outside of class, if he went through with it. He told me that he gave it a shot on the first night, but was called away on more pressing matters.
I think it had something to do with an Xbox 360.
Like most college students, his interest in thought experiments outside the classroom quickly dissipated. Perhaps that’s a good thing.
Maybe it was divine intervention.
Yet, the more I think about it, the more I am convinced it is not a half-bad idea (which means, admittedly, it is only a half-good idea). Not that I want to be possessed by the Devil, assuming such an entity exists, it is just the idea that with so much emphasis some religious traditions place on this creature’s ability to wreak havoc in the world, then perhaps there is something to Tommy’s wager. Perhaps traditional pursuits of God are not the most efficient. What if we went on a search for Satan in order to shed light on the existence, and, possibly, the character of God?
“So Brother Ray, that’s all I’m doing. That’s why I need you to help me come to terms with this Satan character.”
Appearing rather offended, he asked, “Well, why in the world would you think I would be of any help in that department?”
“I’m