Your Story:
A Place of Fear
Thinking Back
• Have you ever been in a life-threatening position or a place of total fear where you knew something devastating could happen to you? Where were you at the time, and what were you doing at that location?
• What personal thoughts or choices led you to finding yourself in this position?
Thinking Inward
• How did your body respond, physically and mentally, to the fearful situation?
• What was your greatest fear about what could happen or what the end result of this situation might be?
Thinking Outward
• Who else was involved? Was there anyone who could have or should have come to your rescue?
• It is a natural response to “hide” memories of fear in our memory vault. Have you shared your memory of fear with someone you trust? Did you sense God’s presence with you at the time?
Thinking Forward
• What have you learned from your past fearful experience(s) to guide you in the future?
• What area of your life still brings you fear or is in need of God’s protection today?
Write a Prayer: Share all of your fears with God and ask Him to protect you from harm and help you conquer the fears.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Your word says that You are an ever-present help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1) and that You are a refuge and a shield (Psalm 119:114), protecting us in ways we cannot see. I pray that You would protect us and show us how You are helping us through life’s hardships and fearful situations. Remove fear from our lives today, and help us to trust in You.
In Your name, amen.
“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.”
Psalm 46:1
Chapter 2
Confused
I read and reread the university programs with longing. There were so many appealing options, I wanted to sign up for every one of them.
Typical me. Interested in everything but not naturally gifted in anything.
Not one single gold ribbon existed in my keepsake box, but I had participation ribbons of every kind. I won an athletic award in high school for participating in every intramural sport that was offered. I caught a ride with the neighbours to attend the awards ceremony and receive my award. My parents didn’t come.
Most of my friends in high school were not only encouraged by their parents, they were expected to attend university. But that was not the case with my family. A good job that taught work ethics and allowed you to save some money was the goal to pursue.
Neither of my parents had attended university. My mom had not even had the chance to graduate from high school. My dad, a self-made successful man through hard work and good business choices, had become financially secure without an education. He thought that university would be a waste of time and money for his second oldest daughter, convinced that I would get married and start a family and that the money spent on that education would be wasted.
The private discussions my parents had about important matters were held in their first language, German. My sisters and I did not learn any German. It seemed that German was a “secret language” our parents used when they didn’t want us to know what they were saying. I wondered what they actually said to each other about my career ambitions.
Even though university education was not encouraged, my parents insisted that each one of their four daughters attend one year of Bible college. We could choose the college that we wanted to attend as long as we completed one year of general Bible studies. There were college options a few hours away from where we lived, but my sense of adventure and desire for independence led me to choose a college two provinces away from our home in Saskatchewan.
I picked a college in Peterborough, Ontario. The reason my parents allowed this was because my mom’s sister lived in Peterborough. My aunt had been an elementary teacher in the Peterborough School District. Her missionary friend and roommate taught at the college. One of my favourite courses at the college was the course my aunt’s friend instructed on Christian education. I sang in the college ensemble that travelled most weekends, singing in churches all around Ontario and Quebec. The weekend that I loved above all others was the weekend I was billeted with a French-speaking family. I used my high school French to the peak of my learnings but craved to communicate better with them.
French had been my favourite subject and my highest mark all through high school. My French teacher told us a few stories about his sideline work as a translator for the provincial courts in our city. Those stories made a huge impression on me. The naive career dream of becoming a translator formed in my mind.
The next fall, I enrolled at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, despite my parents’ opinions. I was going to major in linguistics and continue taking French classes but also study German and Spanish at the same time. I had lofty dreams of knowing many languages and becoming a translator.
My first year of university was fraught with frustrations and disappointments. My linguistics class was a snoozefest, boring me to tears. Any future classes in this career field would involve the same professor. My French marks were excellent, but all other marks were barely average. Just before reading week, I hit an all-time low. My studies seemed pointless and my career track impossible.
What was I thinking? A translator!? What a ridiculous career plan. I should have listened to my parents. They were right.
I thought about packing it in and going home to find a job like my dad had wanted me to do from the start. I decided to pray about what I should do with my life.
Dear Lord, Your word says that You have a plan for our lives. You said in Jeremiah 29:11, You have “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” But I don’t feel much hope right now, Lord. You know that I love French and just want to keep learning it. I thought a translator job would be cool, Lord, but I can see that it’s not going to work for me. I don’t want to quit and go home, but I can’t keep taking classes for nothing and I’m running out of money. What should I do, Lord? Please give me some career direction. Amen.
The career path of a teacher was not my first choice at the time, but by accident I discovered that if I transferred to the faculty of education with a French major, I would be eligible for a scholarship of two thousand dollars each year of my studies. I could continue studying French, and my dad would be relieved about the financial help I would be getting. This was a win-win, an obvious decision.
The next three years of studies in education were more satisfying than I expected. I engaged wholeheartedly in all of my classes, especially my French methodology class. My prof for this course was a delight, demonstrating useful instructional methods for our future teaching in the most fun-loving, enthusiastic manner. She was a true role model. My practicum experiences were stressful, but I received many positive affirmations about my ability to teach. My supervising teacher in Radisson Secondary School drafted a complimentary report about me that I value today, especially since he said that my French was that of a “frog,” a native French speaker.
I was content to the core at my convocation, accepting proof of my bachelor of education with a major in French and a minor in English. The most rewarding part of the convocation, however, was that my mom and my dad decided to attend. My dad was so proud of me, he got emotional. I couldn’t recall ever seeing my dad cry before. This unexpected reaction from him made me realize the significance of my accomplishment. I was the first in our family to receive a university degree.
Was it God who led me to finding out about the scholarship for French teachers?
I