I pass my money through the hole in the wire netting, taking my things and turning away.
“Why don’t you sit with me for awhile? Lapha!” The drunk man pats a stone step next to his bucket. He tilts forward, expectant, and almost falls off.
“Gogo’s expecting me home,” I lie, juggling the milk, bread, and Coca-Cola in my arms. I glance down the empty street towards our house, calculating how long it will be before Gogo and Mama will be home. If he were so bold as to follow us, I’d still have to wait some few hours before they returned.
“Your grandmother will wait. I’m sure she is a patient woman.”
“No, Gogo expects me home now now.” I tilt my head at Zi. “Besides, she’s only five. She can’t walk home by herself.”
“She can stay.” He grins, showing off his front teeth, yellowed and bleeding at the gums. His dry mouth makes a soft sound, pah pah, as he smacks his lips together. “But it’s you I want to know better.”
“No no no, my friend, leave her alone,” the tuck shop owner says. “She’s just a child. Let her grow a bit more, eh, Ndoda?”
“What are you talking about?” He’s so drunk, he can’t even stop squinting as he looks at me, greed pooling in his dark eyes. “She’s young and look at her—hey hey! So fat!” He leers at me. “She’s probably a virgin.”
These older men are always obsessed with virginity. A virgin can’t spread the disease of these days. But a virgin isn’t protected from HIV—she can get it from one of these old men, if they are already infected. That’s why I’m always telling Thandi to be careful with the men she dates.
“Sis, man, you’re pathetic,” the tuck shop owner says, turning away and going back inside his house.
Left alone with the drunk man, I look up and down the street again. It’s still quiet, but now one or two young men are loitering at the end of the street, smoking cigarettes and glancing our way. They will not offer to help. No.
“Come on, Zi, let’s run.” I grab her hand, peeking back at the man, and at the red bucket, tilted forward like it’s about to topple. “Quick quick.”
But the drunk man is fast, whipping his hand out, grasping my leg, pulling me toward him, whirling me around, his fingers streaking across my thighs, his swollen eyes bugging out as I fall towards him. The milk tumbles in the dust at his feet.
“Ouch!” I screech.
“Come on, girl, give me some sugar,” he whispers, one hand gripping me, the other crawling up my leg, fingers like little spiders.
I try to wrench my leg free but he has a strong grip, that man, and even as I jerk away, he rears back and I stumble towards him. A flash of blue from his shirt as I crash beside him in the dirt. A sudden stinging pain as the ground peels away layers of skin. My lips kiss the earth and I roll away, scrambling through the dust, tasting rust, smelling the metallic scent of blood.
“Khosi!” Zi shrieks.
On my hands and knees, I look at the drunken man, my vision blurring. His features haze over until they resemble a crocodile’s, with a long snout and big hungry teeth.
The crocodile opens its mouth, ready to swallow me.
“Hey, man! Leave her alone!”
I glance up and see Little Man Ncobo standing between me and my attacker. A flash and the crocodile is gone, the drunk man glaring at me through Little Man’s legs. He creeps back to his bucket, spit and vomit drooling out of his mouth onto the dirt.
What just happened? Did I imagine that man turning into a crocodile?
I push myself off the ground and brush dirt off my skirt. My knee is bloody.
“Did he hurt you, Khosi?” Little Man asks, his voice low, like we’re having a private conversation. I’ve known Little Man all my life and we’re even in the same class at school. He’s a scrawny guy, short and skinny, but for now, he’s like some hero in the movies, rescuing me.
“I’m okay,” I whisper, ignoring the throbbing in my knee and trying not to limp.
He smiles at me and I can’t help smiling back, suddenly noticing that his lips are the same blue-black color as his skin. In fact, I’m seeing all sorts of things about Little Man that I never noticed before. Like the way he leans toward me as he talks, close, his arm almost touching mine. We have such different color skin—he’s so dark in comparison. Like my babamkhulu. Like my baba.
My skin prickles. How is it you can know somebody all your life and only start seeing them some few minutes ago?
“You’re all covered in dirt,” he says, reaching out and brushing my arm.
His fingers are so gentle as they graze against my skin. I quiver, my heart beating fast. I’m not sure if it’s racing because of the drunk man or because of Little Man touching me. Maybe it’s both.
“What about the milk, Khosi?” Zi worries.
“Forget about it.” I feel bruised where each of the drunk man’s fingers wrapped around my thigh.
“But we need it for Gogo’s tea,” she protests.
“I’ll get it,” Little Man says.
As he trots over to retrieve the box of milk, the drunk man begins to shout at me. “I’ll be here when you change your mind, little girl,” he yells. “I’ll be your sugar daddy! I’ll buy you whatever you want! See? I have so much money!”
He reaches into his pocket and silver coins slip from his fingers into the dirt. He begins to comb the dust, searching for them.
Zi laughs. “Oh, you have too much money!” she calls.
“Don’t be rude, Zi. Just ignore him.” Even as I chide her, I wish I had her courage. And she’s only five!
The next time an older man attacks me like that, I promise myself, I won’t be so helpless. They’ll know just who they’re dealing with.
But even as I make that promise, I wonder if I’ll have the courage to keep it.
“Catch it if you can, Zi,” Little Man calls, throwing the box of milk into her outstretched hands. “Good catch.” He grins at her and she grins back.
“I’ll walk you home, Khosi,” he says.
“Thank you.” I’m glad Gogo is at the funeral. I can hear her voice grumbling in my head if she saw me with Little Man: You can’t even walk home for some few minutes without meeting some boy? What am I going to do with you? Don’t you become one of those bad girls, always chasing after men.
“Hey, it is not a problem,” he says, his arm stroking against mine for some few seconds. It makes me shiver. “Cold?”
I nod, even though it’s not true, and keep my arm near his, hoping we’ll accidentally touch again.
He glances at Zi, who’s watching us, curious. “You feel warm to me,” he whispers, so low she can’t hear.
It suddenly feels like a dozen monkeys are dancing in my stomach.
That’s when it hits me. I have a mad mad crush on Little Man.
All this warmth is leaking out like tears from my eyes as I smile at him. Maybe I’ll regret it later, letting him see how much I like him, but I can’t hide it just now.
CHAPTER FOUR
DREAMS
I try to forget about what happened with the old woman and the drunk man, focusing instead on Little Man, my rescuer. But that night, nightmares flood my mind.