Caregiving Both Ways
Caregiving Both Ways
A Guide to Balancing It All While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia
Molly Wisniewski
Copyright © 2019 by Molly Wisniewski
Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.
Cover Design: Roberto Núñez
Cover Photo/illustration: TierneyMJ (Shutterstock)
Layout & Design: Jayoung Hong
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Caregiving Both Ways: A Guide to Balancing It All While Caring for a Loved One with Dementia
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2019941763
ISBN: (print) 978-1-63353-984-6, (ebook) 978-1-63353-985-3
BISAC category code: MEDICAL / Caregiving
Printed in the United States of America
To my husband, Kevin: You are my favorite person, and I appreciate your continued enthusiasm and support!
Table of Contents
Part One: How to Ease Care through Activity Engagement
The Unexpected Family Caregiver
Three Ways to Avoid Caregiver Burnout
Approaches to Address Behaviors
Part Two: Release Guilt and Explore Care Options
Managing Difficult Aspects of Care
How to Have a Conversation about Care
Available Senior Living Options
What to Look for in a Nursing Home
Once a Caregiver, Always a Caregiver
By Carol Bradley Bursack, Minding Our Elders
Every caregiver has a unique story to tell, most often one of jumbled emotions that cycle through times of joy, despair, grief, and gratitude. My decades-long journey was a juggling act that was, while also unique to my circumstances, no different when it came to emotions.
For me, caregiving began with my neighbor, Joe, who had lived with Meniere’s disease since his thirties and, as a result, was completely deaf. When Joe was in his eighties, his wife died. That left him alone except for some older friends from his working years and his only adult child, who lived across the country. We hadn’t socialized before, other than giving a wave and saying “hi,” because Joe seemed busy with his life and I had a young family. But now? How could a neighbor not offer to help?
Back then, my children were young. Over time, we grew to love Joe, but, as I crossed our yards that first day to see if I could do anything to comfort this seemingly vulnerable older man, I had no way of knowing that I was entering into an unspoken contract to be Joe’s caregiver for the next five years. Still, I don’t see that I could have done things differently, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss those years, even if I’d had the chance to do it over.
During my “Joe years,” as I call them, my aunt and uncle, who had no children, moved from the Washington, DC, area to be near my family. They even moved into the same apartment complex as my parents. We were all close, and my siblings and I were my aunt and uncle’s substitute kids, so this was the natural progression of life.
For a few years, life was good for all of my family elders.