Be the bedrock that others can rely on
Be proud of who you are and who you want to become
It’s OK to laugh, everything is temporary
Awkward
Ôk-wərd
Adjective
Causing difficulty; hard to do or deal with.
Ungraceful; clumsy.
Synonyms: difficult, tricky, uncomfortable, unpleasant
Understanding yourself and your purpose
“Life is tough, ruff ruff ruff.” These are the words that came to me once in a dream. I dreamed that I was standing on an empty street—the sky was cloudy, the air chilled my skin, and all that stood in front of me was a small, unfamiliar dog. The dog slowly approached, as curious of me as I was of him, and said those words to me as I bent down to pet him. It was an odd dream to have—one that I don’t really understand even to this day—but the impression it left on me has helped shape every major decision I’ve ever had to make.
Sometimes in life our environment can be daunting or uncomfortable, our decisions tough, and the outcomes even tougher. But knowing who we are, and that we are not alone in our journey, can sometimes make all the difference.
If you are alive (you probably are if you’re reading this), then you will one day question your purpose. It’s OK, everyone does. So, how do you know what it is? How do you know how to find it? You should start by looking within yourself. Knowing yourself, your values, and your strengths can all help you deal with any mishaps, curve balls, awkward moments, or complete disasters that will one day come your way.
There are plenty of days where I question what my purpose is, whether I’ve made the right decisions, and if I’ve followed the right path. But what I’ve come to really understand about purpose, about my purpose, is that it’s constantly redefined every single day.
From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, what lies ahead of us is every opportunity imaginable. And while that might sound a bit idealistic (and trust me, it is), believing that we can do anything stops us from creating limitations that aren’t there to begin with.
If I woke up tomorrow and decided that today is the day that I will help someone, whether by rushing into a burning building to save their life or taking a moment to listen to them vent, I can fulfill my purpose in the biggest or smallest of ways because I know I will feel fulfilled as I do it. So what is my purpose then? Right now, as I see it, I want to live my life in such a way that I am helpful and compassionate toward myself and others, mindful of my behaviors, words, and feelings, and confident in my ability to be somebody great.
And while that last sentence may seem like I have it all figured out, I simply don’t. I struggle too, just like you do, because life is tough. No matter how much you try, you will always hit barriers along the way. Am I hanging out with friends who are going to help me excel in life? Should I choose a different major in college because it might be easier for me to get a job? Is this the right person for me, the one I want to spend my life with? Life will always feed you new questions, and as you sort yourself out and try to answer them, your purpose may change from day to day.
So, is it all just one big windy road that you have no control over? It can be if you don’t establish a grounding in what it is that makes you great. Knowing what my values are and working hard to carry them forward in every step I take is what helps keep me on track. While the world around me continues to throw questions, I know I can handle anything despite any challenges and awkward situations that lie ahead.
Having this in your life can also do the same for you. Values ground us in what kind of people we are, how we have grown, and how we choose to act in the world. Having such an important foundation can give you a sense of purpose all by itself. Also, it leads you to one of the most important results of knowing who you are: confidence.
Everyone goes through uncomfortable or awkward moments or phases in their lives. During these times, being confident and secure in yourself isn’t always easy, especially when growing up. Growing up is the time when we develop our identities and learn the most about ourselves and the world. Also, did I mention life can be tough? Any new situation or challenge can understandably be intimidating.
But how you approach a person, situation, or challenge will make all the difference in how it turns out (as well as in how you experience it). Stepping into new situations with confidence—coming from your sense of purpose and knowing who you are—can help you turn something new and awkward into a learning experience. So instead of cringing at yourself when you make the wrong decision, fail your test, say the wrong thing to your crush, or bomb your first job interview—let your inner confidence and purpose help you embrace the awkward.
When I was a young boy growing up, I always felt like I needed to work hard to stand out as my own individual self. Being the middle child of three boys meant there was a lot of butting heads and competing for everything from toys to sleeping on the top bunk of the bunk bed. Normally the middle child gets the stigma of feeling left out or overlooked, but that wasn’t really the case with me. In fact, I think it actually pushed me to work harder to establish myself so that I could be proud of who I was by just being myself.
In my house, my brothers and I had a pretty interesting dynamic with one another. My older brother, who is one year my senior, carried himself as a bit of a leader, always the first to make a decision and to try new things because he was the firstborn. My younger brother, who is three years my junior, strove a little more to be accepted by the two of us; because of the bigger age difference, it was harder for him to be able to do the same things we wanted to do. Because of all of this, I feel like I learned early on what each of their different needs were and how to peacefully make everyone happy. For example, one Christmas, I remember our parents buying us each a WWF action figure. When we opened them up, my older brother proclaimed that he had been given the best figure and showed it off to the two of us, so I joined in his excitement to make him feel happy with what he got. When my younger brother and I opened our figures, I saw that I had one that he would have liked more. Just seeing the expression of disappointment on his face made me realize that although I didn’t care about the character he had, I knew he would be happier with mine, so I traded with him. My older brother was happy, my younger brother was happy, and I was happy that they both felt the love and respect they needed in that moment.
It started to become clear to me that doing the right thing and helping others made me feel good about myself; knowing I could make small sacrifices that didn’t hurt me long-term made me realize that there was something to