Praise for This Is Not the Life I Ordered
“This book is an object lesson in the power of friendship—and the power of perseverance. The four fearless women who wrote it share their remarkable stories—featuring incredible highs and heartbreaking lows—and in the process show us how to overcome the fears that limit us. It's funny, inspiring, and practical—often all at the same time. Put the most entertaining episode of TheView in a blender with Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and you'd get This Is Not the Life I Ordered. It's a book you'll want to order a stack of, so you can share it with your girlfriends and your daughters.”
—Arianna Huffington, author of On Becoming Fearless
“I wish I had this book thirty years ago. What a welcome source of inspiration and insight.”
—Linda Ellerbee, journalist, award-winning television producer,
bestselling author, breast cancer survivor, and mom
“Even before you hear their stories, you feel their strength. When these four women came into my office, I knew I wanted to be a part of their mission. Readers will find themselves engulfed (in a good way) by their spirit.”
—Gerry Laybourne, founder of Oxygen Media
“Kudos to the amazing strength of these women! This book is the needed inspiration to survive the worst luck and circumstances that catch women unexpectedly. Stories of almost unimaginable pain and tragedy: the death of loved ones, being witness to mass murder, the loss of an esteemed job after years of loyalty, and reversal of fortunes. But more importantly, these are stories of individual strength to transform shock, despair, and paralysis into . . . unexpected happiness.”
—Amy Tan, bestselling author of The Joy Luck Club
“A must-read for all women and the men who love them.”
—Rita Moreno, actor and winner of an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy,
Tony, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom
“This book captures real-life moments—from overwhelming hardships to triumphant outcomes. It echoes hope on every page and gives insightful inspiration to get us through life's daily challenges. I love this book and all the threads of wisdom intricately sewn through each page. Best of all it is done with girlfriends—who have been my greatest support system. After you read it, you will realize that so much of your potential is just waiting to be released.”
—Debbi Fields, founder of Mrs. Fields Cookies
“This is the book you need when it is 2:00 a.m., and you can't sleep because things in your life are not the way you hoped they would be. It is filled with the support and wisdom you would get from your friends, and more. It contains inspiring and true stories as well as the tools to help you move to the other side of whatever obstacles might confront you. It will comfort you and give you courage.”
—Anne Robinson, cofounder of Windham Hill Records
“These women inspire us to go for the gold in our lives. They all deserve 10s!”
—Kristi Yamaguchi, gold medalist figure skater
“A moving book, full of hope and encouragement. I laughed and cried but always felt uplifted!”
—Jessica McClintock, founder and CEO of Jessica McClintock, Inc.
“You'll want to buy a copy of this book for yourself and every woman you care about. The inspiring real-life stories prove that you can overcome anything life throws at you, if you put your mind to it. These refreshingly honest stories will buoy your spirits and give you the clarity and courage to make your life what you want it to be now, not someday. Read it and reap.”
—Sam Horn, bestselling author of Tongue Fu!
This edition first published in 2019 by Conari Press, an imprint of
Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
Copyright © 2019 by Deborah Collins Stephens, Michealene Cristini Risley, Jan Yanehiro, and Jackie Speier
Foreword copyright © 2019 by Rita Moreno
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages. Previously published in 2009 by Conari Press, ISBN: 978-1-57324-413-8.
ISBN: 978-1-57324-737-5
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.
Cover design by Kathryn Sky-Peck
Interior illustrations © John Grimes
Interior by Deborah Dutton
Typeset in ITC Garamond, Gill Sans, and Trajan
Printed in Canada
MAR
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www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter
This book is dedicated to brave and courageous women who light the dark for all of us.
Life is good. Life is short. May you achieve your dreams. May you also be wise enough and generous enough and kind enough to help another woman achieve hers.
THE AUTHORS
CONTENTS
Introduction to the Second Edition: Hope Remains a Strategy (Always)
Preface: Slightly Less than Worst-Case Scenarios
CHAPTER ONE MANAGING MISFORTUNE
1. Convene a gathering of kitchen-table friends.
2. Transcend misfortunate events.
3. When left on the tarmac, start walking.
4. When life is not what you ordered, begin again.
5. Learn the secrets of the blue-haired lady.
6. When you are standing at the edge of the pool, jump in.